October 4, 2010

What is The Trevor Project?

Posted: 05:00 PM ET

Larry King Live tonight is a special hour on bullying.  Recently, bullying led five male teens to commit suicide.  If you would like more information on prevention and crisis intervention, please go to:

The Trevor Project is the leading national organization focused on crisis intervention and suicide prevention efforts among LGBTQ youth. Every day, The Trevor Project saves young lives through its free and confidential lifeline, in-school workshops, educational materials, online resources and advocacy.

The Hotline is 866-488-7386

Filed under: Bullying

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Joe G. (Illinois)   October 4th, 2010 6:24 pm ET

When you step into the ring with the devil..
There are no rules or promises.

And it ain’t just me saying this. Check it out yourselves.. Take it up with him!! And it don’t make a difference if this America, “The land of the Equalities, and Liberal Progressives Democrats into office.
Like what is America gonna do. Nuke the devil?!

Vivien Wolsk, NYC   October 4th, 2010 6:35 pm ET

Organized religion is at least as much to blame for the suicides of these young people. The idea is drummed in that they are sinners and outcasts.

carrissa   October 4th, 2010 8:14 pm ET

This is horrible, bullying is going in the schools i send my children to and nothing becomes of it. The teachers and principals are not even going to take it seriously until something like this happens. It is so sad that our youth is looked at so badly because of a few of these children who act like this. I think before anything else we need to evaluate the morals that the parents are or are not teaching their kids.

Julia   October 4th, 2010 9:11 pm ET

I know as a mom my daughters were is sports but they liked theatre at the same time in school that would not work bullying was not about gay or straight, black, red or white it was about clicks in school that is really what is bullying is about being different kids found a loop hole in the public system and got home schooled.

Audrey   October 4th, 2010 9:27 pm ET

We have become ridiculous as Americans – the worst of the bullies. I am a 26 year old lesbian that grew up in the Catholic School system and I am so incredibly disgusted with the regression that our society has shown in the last few years. We seem to have forgotten our own history and the struggles of our ancestors. It shames me to think that my fellow country-men are more concerned with my own lesbianism than with the fact that we are in a war, in our own financial depression, and with an educational system that is ranked in the 20's world-wide.

I was blessed to have teachers in my Catholic school that did NOT preach hatred – they truly preached LOVE like Wanda desires. But sadly, that is all obviously lost in our society today. I just returned from a trip to a third world, central American country and am ashamed to say that we are now at the same progression that they are on this issues. And we call ourselves leaders. It is just disgusting!

cristina   October 4th, 2010 9:31 pm ET

My girlfriend got retaliated against due to her being lesbian. A co- worker there was calling her dike and spreading her being a dike to other employees. The girl who called her dike numerous times would always pick on her about random things. My girlfriend reported this to her manager and HR and no action was taken. They fired my girlfriend due to false accusations. We are looking to go through arbitration but do not what the outcome may be since arbitration is completely different then actual court. Our parents disowned us once they found out we were together and lesbians. My girlfriend and I do not have relationships with our family and have been on our own since we were 17. We are going through such a hardship in our life right now, please keep us in your prayers!

Matt   October 4th, 2010 9:38 pm ET

Thank you, Larry, for bringing attention to this matter. As a teenager, I was bullied in high school and became so depressed, I often thought of committing suicide. Now, I'm 23, and life is better. The point to make here to these victims is that is does get better.

Lisa   October 4th, 2010 9:51 pm ET

I don't think we should focus our attention on one sector or group who are bullied. Just recently Phoebe Prince, age 15, committed suicide after being harassed and taunted on Facebook, which had nothing to do with her sexual orientation. If you are an outsider to their group or just different or better than them...they are jealous. Anyone can be a target for for this mindless behavior.

Let's not add fuel to the fire by playing the blame game and making this about religion/race/sex preference,etc. Bullys are the insecure ones with issues, the onus should lie on the parents of the bullies who don't teach them better behavior, and the education systems/bystanders who are tolerant of it.

elle   October 4th, 2010 9:52 pm ET

bully"s exist in all schools gay or not. Children come to school with all kinds of emotional issues. Our society does not provide apprpropriate guidance services, one guidance counselor per school, who are we kidding that one person can service so many issues..WHEN will we wake up and provide great services for our children so they are on the right track academically as well as socially wel adjusted. Its about time to set the kids straight and avoid problems later in life.

donald zahnke   October 4th, 2010 10:08 pm ET

i was bullied a a teen myself even thoough iam not gay it was a terrible expreince it cused me to have low self esteem and severe depression my hear goes oyt to the familisof the five teens wo ciommited sucidde because they were gay

Collette Williams   October 4th, 2010 10:40 pm ET

There is something inherently wrong in bullies that compels them to attack and persecute LGBT's. It's sad that some never learn that we are ALL God's children! I have a close transgender friend who is open about her sexual transformation. She courageously stands up for her true identity – even in the presence of bullies and bigots. Bullying is a complex issue but I'm left with the thought that fear and insecurity permeate this reprehensivle behavior.

Vicky   October 4th, 2010 11:10 pm ET

I am not a lesbian but I was bullied because I was a woman in need.

dawn   October 4th, 2010 11:32 pm ET

yes, bullying is the same whether you are straight, gay, a jock or a thespian. Unfortunately, they usually do not preach in political ads, pulpits and in homes that jocks and thespians are supposed to be thought less of. I never heard someone say that the fullback was going to hell for being a football player. I know it's hard to look at it as a different situation, but we are a country in a war with ourselves over religion and morality defining our education and politics–therefore our children!!

Since when did jesus, buddha or allah teach us to force our beliefs on others? Preach, ok. Teach, great, but force? That's not how my church (or my parents) raised me. You want to preach or teach something? Try saying yes to growing and confused minds–no matter what they think–as long as they are treating themselves and others well. Try teaching how to be rather than how not to be.

I think everyone was "bullied" to a certain extent and it is always horrible to hear of situations that end in death. However, to have 5 in one week all about the same thing? To have states where you can fire someone for their sexuality as if it was a crime? I'm glad people are paying so much attention to it. Matthew Shepard's awful death brought love, understanding, accountability and guilt to our whole country for teaching hate. Things did seem to get better for a while. How soon we kids today even know his name?

tammy s   October 5th, 2010 12:09 am ET

my son is 15 and he says he is gay but he dates girls but he gets picked on in school i was wondering how to handle that

xJonHolex (Atlanta)   October 5th, 2010 12:28 am ET

The main issue here is really not that these young people were gay or that they were 'bullied' its that we as Americans have in fact become soft and way to sensitive. This day in age we should be immune to people trying to hate on someone because they are gay, or black, or tattooed or whatever. After reading these other posts above, im not the only one that has ever been picked on or bullied. My mother told me to let these hateful comments just role off my back! I was poor and 'lost' for a long time and when i realized that i didnt give a crap about what that person thought of me, my life became better.

As a parent to 4 children now, my wife and i have taken the extra step to point out to our children that its these lil diffrences that make our world unique. Our oldest daughter, 6years old, could care less if the girl to her left is Hispanic and the boy on her right is African American. All she cares about is if your a good person. Regardless.

It goes way beyond religion even...if your a biggot, you will inevitably raise a close minded child. If they were to grow up and not be blinded by that ignorance they would be torn in their minds as to what exactly was right. Hence a 'bully', or in the case of the most recent suicide, there were no signs of bullying and yet he still hung himself. Maybe he had internal conflict?

We need to have teachers, counselors and yes, PARENTS pay more attention to what our children are telling us. Not just with words but their actions as well. We really need to crack down and be less sensitive to random acts of bullying and develop thicker skin.

I dont feel that ive said everything i need to say or what exactly id like to say here but i hope ive made sence...

Valeria T   October 5th, 2010 12:53 am ET

It is painfully obvious by recent events that for a child or teenager to be openly gay/bi/transgender is to make themselves a target. If we want to protect them from bullying, prevent them from being hounded and harassed, keep them from being driven to suicide, we need to teach them to not "come out" at least not at school. That may be difficult, to live a pretense, but it is better than risking them being bullied, it is better than losing them to suicide.

GoodGrief   October 5th, 2010 1:09 am ET

This crazy horror that thrives in society (aka bullying, stealing, lying, cheating, murders, rape, etc.) you name the chaos and horror, it flourishes because the teachings of Jesus was taken out of our school system and thrown out of our public buildings. When Jesus' spiritual teachings are no longer taught in school what do we expect is left? The complete opposite of His peace and love. People shout from a carnal level ... we have a right to believe or not believe. Like it or not, carnal thinking leads to carnal beliefs which leads to carnal doings/action ... all evil, all chaotic, all because we Erased God Out (EGO) of our lives and ALL not necessary as we shove down our childrens' throats that we evolved from a big BANG batman and batgirls.

Let's have equal rights for Jesus' teachings and the big bangers that go bump in the night.

P.S. If we evolved from Apes ... why did some of them not evolve and we visit them in zoos and jungles around the world? LOL.

Stop teaching our children lies and teach them Jesus' Truth about why we are here and what we are suppose to do.

Finally, we are all to endure to the end. God gave us life and God decides when we leave. Not our decision but God's. If we get bullied or we are injured and paralyzed ... it's God's way of thumping us on the head to change our carnal way of thinking, believing and behaving to His spiritual way of TRUTH.

FACTS: God is always with us. We are never alone. God explains through His spiritual teachings how not to be depressed. What bullying or any other sin is all about.

By the way, He owns all our souls whether some like this answer or not. A person doesn't decide whether to give his/her soul over to Jesus. He always had it.

The more we follow the simpleness of man's ego with false teachings and false beliefs, the more chaos will flourish ...


Alexander clay   October 5th, 2010 1:12 am ET

I am sorry for anyone being bullyed for being gay or lesben but if everybody understood the bible right plus it be agaist god there wouldn be trouble in this matter but world is the way it is and i pray that everybody get right for a man 2be a man and a woman 2be a women as it was meant 2be

Don (canada)   October 5th, 2010 1:15 am ET

I was a target of Workplace bullying, psycological bullying, cyber bullying and gang bullying and gas lighting. It started at work and continued at home. The local police said it best that I move away because if they get involved it would only get worse for me and my family. The bullying continued for over 7years. I almost committed suicide but I stopped myself with only personnel woulds to show. I was into a therapy program for 9 yr, on disablity insurance and I sued the corporation that I worked for. I now have on health benefits and suffer from PTSD. The Bully in my case and many cases does not have a conscience. They don't care about others feelings and they hurt others without remorse. They don't feel guilty and don't feel sorry for what they have done. Many Bully's are sociopaths. Get away from them if you cross there path. They will hurt you. They panel on Larry King must start to tie the two together, bullys are sociopaths!!!

Dennis   October 5th, 2010 2:18 am ET

Why all of a sudden a concern for bullying when "gay" students commit suicide? there are hundreds of teens committing suicide that were bullied for other reasons, they should all get help, the gays should be straightened out and the kids that have low self esteem need help with that. It's not something new happening, it was a problem a long time ago should've been looked at before someone gay commits suicide, all of a sudden gay teens are more important than other teens struggling to fit in.

Shelley Kazimour   October 5th, 2010 3:45 am ET

One thing that needs to be looked at is: are these kids who bully, are they bullied at home? Are they taunted by a parent, is the father abusive to the mother and children? This may be the case in most bullying instances, after all, we are what we know. We all learn by the actions of others. Our entire behavior is learned from watching others. Most bully's have a complex or fear of their own and they bully to counteract that fear. I believe a program like D.A.R.E. should be implemented into our school systems to get the children to discuss and report domestic violence. I was bullied because I was over-weight, maybe 15-20 lbs. Howard called me vaca from the time Spanish class was started in the 9th grade. He would scream VACA down the hallways in high school. Vaca is spanish for cow. He was killed on his way to an interview at Kent State and I have held a firm belief in Karma ever since.

larry snarr   October 5th, 2010 6:49 am ET

i lost my teen-age son to suicide in 2006,cant proove it was bullying, its still a tragic way to die. im in for a lifelong donation to the Trevor Project.

BNaomi Stephan   October 5th, 2010 8:29 am ET

It's great the show was aired. My heart goes out to the young men who committed suicide.

But a lot in the show was taken for granted.

Tell your parents? Give me a break. They might be the ones to throw you out, or beat you up for it.

Tell someone in small town America? We got "queer" etched into our lawn, and no one would talk to us in the neighborhood.

Hang on, things are going to get better? Pollyana Americana. I am 72 and I can say that things are NOT better, not even with Obama. I am exile in a foreign country because my British partner cannot get US residency. It took a 20 minute ceremony here to get my residency.

It cost me all my savings and many of my posessions.

We face depression and suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, having given up our home together in the States when her visa ran out. I know other bi-national couples that face daily challenges of health. care, culture shock and financial devastation. Do you think this administration cares about UAFA? They don' give a damn.

Larry King would do well to have a program on bi-nationals, and the hardship good law-abiding US citizens are put through for something their heterosexual non US neighbors have long gotten via marriage.

I'll volunteer. And I won't say gay instead of lesbian.And I won't spout someone else's words (i.e. the Bible).

Good grief, a woman's woman, and proud of it.


William Wesley Choate   October 5th, 2010 9:58 am ET

Thank you for this mass media approach to solving very individual life and death concerns. One person's success in dealing with this or any
problem may help others cope victoriously also, as Dale Carnegie did with his book, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" and Rona Romney and Beppie Harrison's,"Giving Time a Chance".
My own biggest encounter with bullying was beginning the l7th grade in an Oklahoma City school that had a gang reputation. The first day I saw on the "playground" boys being attacked. At lunch I heard threats if they didn't give up their lunch money. In gym I observed those who could not swim terrorized by being thrown in the deep end. (The coach or other adults were never there) I told my parents about it and they met with the Assistant Principal, who said it was I who had a "guilt
complex". Realizing I could expect no help from the teachers, I had my
own "survival plan". First, I learned to identify the bullies by how they
treat others and then I put distance between me and them. For
example, when we chose our seats in each class I waited until the
bullies had picked theirs and then I would discretely sit in the
opposite side of the room. I never went out on the playground after
that first day, before or after school or during the lunch period. I did
ask one of the teachers if it would be all right if during recess I could
real her collection of pioneer books on Davy Crockett, Daniel Boone,
and the others, and that is what I did for the next three years. Also, that
first semester was the only time I ever enrolled in Gym. I was always
in the band after that to satisfy the PE requirement. Also, on the days
we had the swimming pool, I never told anyone I couldn't swim. I
would be one of the first in the water, moving about on the opposite
side of the pool at about neck level acting bored and they never
bothered me. I reasoned they couldn't throw me in if I were already
there. Also, the next Summer I spent full time in a Red Cross swimming course, being awarded my advanced swimmers and
lifesaving awards and participating in competitive events.
A foot note: I have kept contact with some of those classmates, but
much later, as a criminal and domestic defense lawyer I might have helped some of those guys who I avoided had we cultivated friendships instead of the bully-potential victim avoidance scenario.

Manideepa Patnaik   October 6th, 2010 5:01 am ET

BNaomi Stephan is right. Bullied kids do get suicidal especially when they see they are not getting any help from police, law, father, father's whole family and his relatives and neighbors, state administration and school. When they see no escape than to get bullied to do things that they know are not "biblical", they think it's better to die. Not just the kids, but the mothers of such kids also get suicidal and they do commit suicide too. Stories of expatriates, immigrants and bi-nationals are worse. And stories of people who do not get a chance to get out of their nation to rescue them and the kid is worse. It would be really helpful if you can take a series of shows on suicidal people who do it for they have no way out and their sense of dignity tells them to die rather to live such wretched life of compulsion and dejections and horrible harassment and troubles. Manideepa

Dodie   October 6th, 2010 5:40 am ET

The rates of bullying seem to have increased within the last couple of decades. We have always been a country based in violence from the Europeans' genocide to the Native Americans. The US has been almost continually fighting a war since WWII. And people have no conception since this country is continually at war how the violence and acceptance of violent wars bring forth the seeds that spawn violence to our children. If we as a country condone and support war at all levels, you do not think this type of thought process and behavior has not been passed down to our children? Think Again!

yetunde   October 19th, 2010 6:58 am ET

I think its the primary responsibility of parents as they are first level authority to makes it tough in a world where both parents have to work hours on end and thereby leaving the kids to society..1e really need to go back to the old ways.

eternallypre   October 30th, 2010 8:09 pm ET

Lisa (October 4)
I agree with everything you said except when you said "better than".
From my point of view there is no 'better' when it comes to human nature–only different. If one person is more easily accepted by others, it means they are just recognized as being similar to the masses. We are all equal as human beings. We've got to remember this. No one kind of person is better than another.

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