The Secrets Of A Jewish Mother

What has the American Medical Community been keeping Secret for the past SIX Years?

A potentially deadly strain of fungus is spreading among animals and people in the northwestern United States and the Canadian province of British Columbia, researchers reported this Thursday. The airborne fungus, called Cryptococcus gattii, usually only infects transplant and AIDS patients and people with otherwise compromised immune systems, but the new strain is genetically different, the researchers said. Apparently someone has changed the genetic structure of this fungus to make it a incredibly dangerous fungus whose spores are quickly spreading across America.

And despite this killer being on the loose for at least 6 years without a single Medical Alert mention, how dangerous are these spores and fungus?

The new genetically manipulated strain appears to be unusually deadly, with a mortality rate of about 25 percent among the 21 U.S. newly discovered cases so far analyzed.

The spore-forming fungus causes symptoms in people and many animals two weeks or more after exposure. These include a cough that lasts for weeks, sharp chest pain, shortness of breath, headache, fever, nighttime sweats and weight loss.

A sign that someone has genetically manipulated the previous fungus strain is that it now infects normal humans, cats, dogs, alpaca's, sheep plus many additional unknown animals and plants. It now has much greater lethality, ability to infect healthy non-immune compromised humans and a distinct dislike for cold weather.

A 25% Mortality Rate and American Medical Community's has been entirely silent about this KILLER for the past SIX years, GO FIGURE!!

Despite all of the hype over H1N1 mortality rates, those wound down in America to a mere 1% or far less than 1%. This fungus killer has a whopping 25% Mortality Rate!

This Fungus and its Trillions of Spores appear to be tailor made for California where it would severely impact and thrive among the very large population in the warm centers of LA County on down that entire State.

Oye Vey! Jewish mothers are poked fun at and ridiculed, but the truth of the matter is, whoever is lucky enough to have one, is forever blessed and begins life heads and shoulders above everyone else. Now go eat your chicken soup!

Ask a Rabbi, and he will tell you, that the truth is, that God is not a male, and that he/she is a female with male private parts.

In today's world we identify that by calling it a "MORPHADITE"

So it is only natural to know that Jewish mothers are actually "MORPHADITES"

Ask Joan Rivers, she knows everything, including how to berate a customs officer, on how to do his job.

Joan knows.

Jewish mothers are required to have at least 6 facelifts before they are 60, otherwise they become unrecognizable to their children.

Most jewish women's faces are usually 75% plastic after 60 years of age.

Kissing a plastic doll, is like kissing a jewish mother older than 60.

ASK JOAN RIVERS, SHE KNOWS.

Who is this famous person JILL ZARIN.

Does her family own a plastic manufacturing company.??

Is she married to a GODLY RABBI//

Is she the epitomy of a MORPHADITE??

PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE tell us.

@ Gerald Jolly

You are mean again, I know several jewish mothers over 60 who did not have a facelifts!!!
Naturally I had to check their IDs to make sure who they are after not seeing them for six months!!

@ lola

Above is ment as a joke, so do not get your semitic blood pressure up!
Or are you a turk/jewish bloodline, not hebrew?

@ Ted, thank you for clarifying my lamr atempt at humor.

I just know that the last time Joan Rivers was on the LKL show.

I COULD NOT RECOGNIZE HER.

I dont know if it's true or not, but according to an article I read in Mc Cleans magazine 8 or 9 months ago, Joan has spent more than $200,000 dollars on plastic surgery procedures on her face and neck alone..

You gotta be sick to be that narcistic about yourself.

Dont you agree.

I think we need some of the old values back in society.

@ Gerald Jolly

Maybe what Joan Rivers had might do you wonders. You should try it.

@ Jessie N.Z.

I wont lie, I have considered this, but my 22 girlfriends tell me that I'm the most handsome man in the world.

But who am I to say, maybe it's something else about me that attracts them???

Who knows.

@ Jessie N.Z.

I will never forget the time I was in Wellington, in your home country, and the women there flocked to me like bees to the honey hive.

I wound up getting a strain after being there for just a month and had to leave to get medical treatment.

A lovely country, but very taxing on a handsome verile man, like myself.

LARRY YOU ARE SO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO. BUT ITS MOST DISAPPOINTING TO LEARN ABOUT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE. PERSON OF CHARACTER DOES NOT BEHAVE IN THIS FASHION OR GET MARRIED AND DOVICED AS OFTEN AS YOU DO. PLEASE SEEK THE ASSISTANCE YOU NEED.

PERHAPS YOUR FRIEND DR Phil CAN POINT YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. HOW DISAPPOINTED YOUR PARENTS WOULD BE TO LEARN HOW YOU LIVE YOUR PRIVATE LIFE. MONEY IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WRONG RELATIONSHIPS ARE. PROVIDING WELL IS NOT THE ONLY REQUIREMENT TO BEING A SUCCESSFUL FATHER & HUSBAND.

WE LOVE YOU IN OUR HOUSE LARRY!

I can't comment on the book, but the show is full of vain, superficial, social climbing, unnatural looking, materialistic women. Perhaps to some, that's "good" television. Now these "housewives" have written this book.

American Jewish culture is rich with ancedotal and real life lessons. It offers a strong tradition of humor mixed with grief. Let's hope the book is not as shallow as the authors appear to be on the show.