April 2, 2010


Posted: 07:00 PM ET

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The low-down on cheating spouses!

Are they the norm - or the exception?

Can any couple stay together forever?

Can you tell if your significant other is likely to cheat?

Can infidelity be controlled?

Questions...and answers with Jeff Probst, Dr. Drew, Adam Carrolla and others!

We go inside the world of infidelity – the lies, the betrayals, and cover-ups

and why men like Jesse James and Tiger Woods think they can get away with it!

Would YOU stay with a cheating spouse?

Filed under: Larry King Live • Uncategorized

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A. Smith, Oregon   April 2nd, 2010 7:40 pm ET

There is a growing emphasis on honesty with significant others and marriage partners in todays society. Everyone outside these civil bondings assume other marriages are 'closed' and adultry is not acceptable in other marriages. That rather 'closed' mind does not at all apply to many civil marriages or 'bondings'. I suspect it's a archaic left over from puritanical Christian beliefs which have long since been left behind and placed into the dust bin.

Would I stay with a cheating spouse?

That would entirely be up to what the agreement I had with my spouse. Is the spouse honest about that relationship, does that infidelity directly threaten my relationship, my health or my life?

Such questions are invariably asked however NEVER mentioned by main-stream Media, News nor touted 'marriage councilors'.

Andrea   April 2nd, 2010 7:58 pm ET

If you can only think about yourself, maybe you cheat. Most people I know think of their spouse and do not need to cheat.

Simone Arnaud   April 2nd, 2010 8:06 pm ET

Why Jamaican's are no longer allowed to get the visitor's Visa to the United States of America

Eddie   April 2nd, 2010 8:17 pm ET

Regardless if you think of yourself or not. There is temptation everywhere...People make mistakes...Nobody is perfect! I just hope if I'm in a serious relationship cheating wouldn't destroy the love we have....Cheating is not a death penalty or murder. True love survives such infidelities. To fall in love with someone else is another story....the partner doesn't want to be in the relationship. I hope the people that see it otherwise are single and don't have children. Would be a pity to raise another generation of stupidity who doesn't know the difference between love & sex..........

diana   April 2nd, 2010 9:47 pm ET

I agree, expecting someone to never make a mistake in a marriage is asking for a long and lonely life.

quincella   April 2nd, 2010 8:24 pm ET

wanting information on how to set up a blog for world news on the tv

Jo   April 2nd, 2010 8:35 pm ET

See the world Men careless and want intercourse different ladies's own private area. Men are stupidity. Why men tired of wives or girlfriend huh. What wrong with Men's mind problem oh gee. Men are brainless.

angela   April 2nd, 2010 9:06 pm ET

I normally dont agree with Dr. Pinsky, but I am impressed with hs steadfast support of monogamy.

Ray Gordon   April 2nd, 2010 9:08 pm ET

Women force men into relationships and marriage, knowing the men want only the sex. They chase the most desirable men, who eventually feel trapped, and the women buy into the media-brainwashing that some alpha-male has to be a good husband. They know the guys only want sex, pretend otherwise, then it blows up in their faces.

These women don't value decent men; they want to tame an alpha-male and then whine like toddlers when they fail.

Rand from Spokane wa.   April 2nd, 2010 9:08 pm ET

A happily married old Italian gent was asked, Giusepi whats your secret for a long and happy marriage? He replies, " I took a my wife to Italy on a our 35th wedding anniversary, and a now next a week on a our 50th anniversary I go to pick her up..."

Gabriella   April 2nd, 2010 9:09 pm ET

If they need more than one at a time-cut 'em loose!

Lulu   April 2nd, 2010 9:12 pm ET

Too many women don't have any boundaries when it comes to relationships. They don't care if the man is married, single, younger, older, women can be so desperate. Men have no standards they just don't care.

Sherry   April 2nd, 2010 9:13 pm ET

Sarah- Wow. I was ready to blast you but you said the right thing. Most other women say he as not happy with his wife and that's a bunch of crap. Men don't cheat because of their wives.

Sherry   April 2nd, 2010 9:14 pm ET

Sarah Right!!!!!

Laine   April 2nd, 2010 9:18 pm ET

The other woman is just as responsible. It takes two. Any woman who allows herself to fall for a married man is worthless with no morals and standards. The man who hurts a woman who he claims to have loved her is a coward, selfish and is not deserving of anything but bad karma.

Sherry   April 2nd, 2010 9:18 pm ET

Cheaters are weak and have not character or virtue. Just dirty people

Alexandra   April 2nd, 2010 9:20 pm ET

This would be so much more interesting and informative if Larry King would be facilitating.

Swany   April 2nd, 2010 9:20 pm ET

Drop the dog off on the Highway and hope he gets hit. No one should be treated that way.

Campbell   April 2nd, 2010 9:22 pm ET

When are the wives going to wake up and start suing these mistresses under the Cheater's Law? and Why haven't Elin Woods, Elizabeth Edwards, Mary Jo Eustace, Sandra Bullock, , and others haven't obtained lawyers to start the process?

Laine   April 2nd, 2010 9:22 pm ET

There is no excuse big enough to have an affair. Not " sex addiction ", Not biological......We know right from wrong and infidelity is wrong. Both men and woman are equally responsible. It is imperative that we instill in our children that you never..never hurt your loved ones in this way.

Rand from Spokane wa.   April 2nd, 2010 9:23 pm ET

Forgive my joke but I could not resist. On a more serious note I am a married italian man and happily so. Have been faithfull to my wife since married over 34 years ago. Our secret we are best freinds and have always enjoyed our time together... So beleive or not there are still a few of us old faithful dinosaurs out there...

molly   April 2nd, 2010 9:24 pm ET

Tiger Woods" ". . .and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame I didn't have to go far to find them."

Tiger Woods went further than denying an apology to the women he had affairs with. In an automaton-like manner, he publicly attempted to reduce them to nothing more than gold digging, celebrity infatuated, man hunters. I find his comments insulting to them. I suppose that lawyers have advised Mr. Woods not to direct an apology toward the mistresses. To do so will open the door to lawsuits against him. These women were fragile. They had such low self-esteem that they were willing to settle for sharing a man with his wife and other women. I hope these women will discover themselves worthy of a man's whole heart.

Trent   April 2nd, 2010 9:25 pm ET

The bottom line is...if you're not taking care of your spouse at home (sexually), then somebody else is? People get complacent, lose the fire with the same person and stray.....

Sherry   April 2nd, 2010 9:26 pm ET

Don’t think it's a deep as these people are trying to make it sound. I think the basic issue is that people don't know what true love really is. Women beg for men to tell them they love them and they really don't they get married and decide to tell the truth or act out in the form of cheating. An even bigger issue is that the woman was probably not in love either. I think we have the wrong idea of what love really is.

Zac   April 2nd, 2010 9:26 pm ET

Watchin' the show now. Just want to say the emphasis they are putting on the stereotype of men being MORE likely to cheat is just crap. ANY military person who has deployed will tell you that women are just as likely to cheat, if not more so. Just my two cents.

Jeremy D   April 2nd, 2010 9:28 pm ET

I think the talk on the show today is all wrong, at least for my generation (late 20s). I was with a girl for 3 years and she cheated on me with my best friend and another friend. I have also seen many breakups. In my experience -women- are far far worse than men. Women not only have a lot more relationships in their lifetimes (which could add to why a man might cheat), but they are more diabolical when cheating. They take much care into destroying the man they are cheating with. Men who cheat are pretty straight forward and don't plan out a massive campaigns. This is why they get caught easy.

Justine   April 2nd, 2010 9:29 pm ET

Adam has no sense of the "common man/woman's" reality.
One of my dearest friends is going through a divorce as the result of a betrayal. She and her husband have lived in the same town for 25 years, everyone knows. She can't go to work, out with friends, anywhere, without someone expressing some sort of opinion. She has even gotten voicemails and texts from acquaintances asking for details. It may not be on the world stage, but it's her world. Her wounds can't heal because they are re-opened everyday.

Q   April 2nd, 2010 9:31 pm ET

Dr. Drew and Adam back together. Awesome! Adam, your analysis is sorely missed on LoveLine, but Drew still keeps it worth listening to. How many shows does he have? How many guest appearances does he make a week? When does he actually practice?

Mark   April 2nd, 2010 9:31 pm ET

Why aren't you introducing gay men into the equation? Or, those men who are married who then cheat with men? Why only the straight angle?

ArianaElisse S.   April 2nd, 2010 9:31 pm ET

I think if you stay with a cheating spouse you really must be desperate. A person that you loved dearly.. cheated on you.. NO EXCUSE!

diana   April 2nd, 2010 9:32 pm ET

I stayed and since then he has seen how much he would have lost, not financially, but a life love. I told the mistress ,"Sorry but you got used, maybe you will learn from this and not mess with a married man". Because he is a grow man and if he saying he will leave his wife and doesn't its because he doesn't want to. We are very happy now and the mistress married and got pregnant within three months. Don't give up so quickly.

Dr. Karen Ruskin   April 2nd, 2010 9:35 pm ET

Both the cheater and the mistress are responsible for their actions! This is a marital crisis, relational trauma, and effects the mental well being of all parties involved. There are indeed ways to tell if your spouse is cheating and there are ways to prevent your spouse from cheating. Some marriages can recover. And, not all men would cheat given the opportunity. There are concrete reasons why a person cheats and the excuse of psychological labeling is no longer cutting it. Infidelity can indeed be controlled. As a licensed marriage and family therapist I see this problem often and it concerns me greatly that there is a business that helps cheating to take place.

Dr. Karen Ruskin   April 2nd, 2010 9:40 pm ET

In follow up to the comments some men have made I certainly feel it is significant as a marriage and family therapist to state that women do indeed cheat as well as men, and it is the secret marital trauma that many are not aware of.

Chuck   April 2nd, 2010 9:40 pm ET

What about married Men who have Male Lovers on the side?

rick   April 2nd, 2010 9:40 pm ET

NY POST REPORTING AN 8.0 NORTHEAST OF Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic ..............

Daphne Lawson   April 2nd, 2010 9:41 pm ET

If you have to cheat do not lie about it just leave and go be with the one that you are cheating with. It is obvious that you do not love your wife now are causing them embrassment messing with someone else. People have seem to forgotten about a virus called AIDS. This goes for me and all the other women just stop lying and leave the house we will appreciate letting the mother live to raise you all children instead of dying from teh AIDS given to you by a lying man that just wants to be a dog.

Brent   April 2nd, 2010 9:41 pm ET

To the therapist. We live in an age of addiction this addiction that, where is the personal responsibility of ones actions chosing to do right or wrong?
Psychology is the only profession that creates its on diseases to create its on clientle. Believe it you a living it,

Pwb   April 2nd, 2010 9:43 pm ET

Cheating goes back for ever – but really got it's start in the mid '60s. The sexual revolution of the '70s aded more fuel to the fire. The problem is that society never said "this is unacceptable". That one result if applied across the spectrum of societal relationships would have fixed or at least gotten control on drugs, school bullying, cheating, honesty in business etc., etc., etc. Society has the power to fix all these things. It/we just need to get off our collective butts and get it on.



angela   April 2nd, 2010 9:44 pm ET

Can you change the brain of a cheater??? THE EXPERTS say yes, I always thought that was what you called making a decision.

Sue   April 2nd, 2010 9:44 pm ET

You can't stop a cheater from cheating.

cal   April 2nd, 2010 9:44 pm ET

The physical form of cheating is far less dangerous than the emotional. My wife of 12 years and girlfriend for 10 years prior to that cheated over two years ago while on a business trip. When it all came to light I did not react as many people would in the same situation.......I asked her and myself the same question: How did we get here and why? After much discussion we realized that our lives had become very routine and our communication was breaking down because we found so little interest in each other. There was no bad blood between us, no abuse (physical or otherwise). We had simply stopped having meaningful conversation. So while it was true that she was the one to step over THAT line it was not out of spite or an attempt to hurt me or even replace me. It was a wake up call for both of us. We have been better off ever since!!! In fact we have come to a realization that sex for us is highly important but not what defines us as a couple. We have even agreed to open up our marriage with full honesty and disclosure about everything. We have NO secrets, and it is awesome. Neither of us is self-concious or afraid to say that we find others attractive. Both of us have openly been with other people since then and it has only strengthened our relationship.

Too much importance has been placed on this idea that a couple is for life both in the bedroom out! It is absurd to deny yourself and/or your partner the physical and mental pleasure that comes from being desired by other people. It is important to be up-front and honest about it as well as safe (protected) when doing so. But we have found that this way of relating to each other has been invaluable.

Sherry   April 2nd, 2010 9:45 pm ET


I agree, but I don't think it's because one is not taking care of the other. I think they were never really in love.

Dave   April 2nd, 2010 9:46 pm ET

I am a single guy and have been involved with married professional women for over 20 years. In all cases I was chased by them. I did not start relationships. I am still involved to this day. So it is not just men or celebrities. For the record I have cheated on them with strippers many times.

Sherry   April 2nd, 2010 9:47 pm ET

Kudos! Angela

Red light -Green light

Shellie   April 2nd, 2010 9:53 pm ET

I honestly thinking cheating is low down dirty and disgusting, i think any man or women who does decied to step out of their marriage needs to be dragged throw a feild of nails. Tiger woods and Jesse James are SCUM they had great women and oh because im a celeb i can do what i want when i want and who i want!! Tiger woods is a idol for many young boys ages lets say 7 and up and to see there idol do something so ungodly awful to another human being what is that putting into these kids head?? oh go ahead kids be a liar and cheater who cares what your parents teach you because well i did it!!! ooooo!!! i have nothing good to say about either one of them! Why cant they just be up standing men and set a great example even for husbands everywhere, make them want to strive to be more like them, oh no that would be asking to much!

You know I really hope tigers wife and sandra make a example out of these men and why no women should ever have to deal with a man like that!!!

Seriously? Is there something i am missing with this cheating frenzy?? I dont i maybe wrong for this kind of thinking. But damn treat other how you want to be treated! you wouldnt want your spouse partner whatever cheating on you so DONT DO IT! plus if your not smart and catch a std and pass it on to your partner then what???

david   April 2nd, 2010 9:53 pm ET

Why is the man stereotyped in this show? In 90% of all the divorces that i have seen in the past five years in my circle of friends, it is the wife that has been guilty of an affair.

This is even worse as the husband is always stereotyped as a guilty party and is discriminated against by the law. For years after, he is financially ruined and has to pay for something that he wasn't guilty of by paying child support etc.

There are far more women that are having affairs in my segment of the populus than men.

klm   April 2nd, 2010 9:53 pm ET


Joan   April 2nd, 2010 9:56 pm ET

Women always say the exact opposite of what men say about cheating, and women never ever hear what the men are saying. Men say they cheat because their wife no longer has sex with them, they have no communication, their wife spends all the money, nothing to look forward to when they retire, they feel unappreciated even though often times they support the entire family. Women never hear what men are saying, that's why men cheat and why so many people get divorced. As long as women say there is nothing wrong in their marriage when it's destroyed, no, no, nothing wrong here and blame, blame, blame instead, cheating will continue to go on and divorces will continue to happen. Women do not want to hear they have to sleep with their husbands, appreciate their husbands for supporting them, save and invest their money. They want it all their way and if the guy is miserable, it's some woman's fault at the mall that he is staring at.

By the time men are trying to cheat, they have had hundreds of fights with their wives over no sex life, over money, over many things, nothing changed and the man realized he cannot afford a divorce.

Men who can afford a divorce, get one. Men who can't afford a divorce look to use another woman, use her for sex, to talk to, and give her nothing. The one man who posted in here told the truth. Men don't want to get married, women give them sex to get a house and to not have to work and to set them up for alimony and child suport and the house if they leave. It's sex for money and the sex stops when women get all the money they are going to get. Men start out innocent about marriage, women are thinking from the first date they want a big wedding and a house out of it and to never have to work. Men should educate their sons about what marriage really turns out to be, and tell young men not to get married, protect their assets. I live in the suburbs, I've had thousands of married men come on to me. I wouldn't ever go with a married man, no one wants to be used, and the fact they are married tells me they can't afford a divorce. If they could, they would be approaching me as divorced single men. The problem is an epidemic. It's a huge problem in the suburbs where people don't have community, no one to talk to, and where people don't make the kind of money where they can afford to divorce, and where women typicaly don't work. It's an epidemic of miserable married men in this country, and no decent single woman wants one thing to do with any of it. It's time for men to start support groups and lobby to change the divorce laws,period. Game over. It's a sick epidemic of miserably unhappy married men in this country. People can deny it all they want, but the nuclear family is over and marriage is over. About 60 percent of people get divorced, many people stay married because of money or children, about 5 percent of married people really want to be married. I think if women went back to working and married men just for companionship, not for financial reasons, and then couples only had one child, the romance would last and they would be much happier because they would have a lot more money, they could invest in property or a business. It's not realistic to make a man support 4-5 people working two jobs, spend every cent, and have one spouse never work. It's too much stress and lack of money and then the children start acting out because of it. Educated women who work in high paying jobs or who have their own businesses make the best parents. Their children get into good colleges and do very well. Women who don't go to college and don't work do not have the self-esteem to properly raise children and usually don't get their kids into colleges. And, women who don't work don't know how hard it is to make money, they are typically the ones who spend all the income at the mall, they don't think about the importance of investing it because it's all given to them for free, it's free magic money. This is how you get married men desperately trying to cheat, and most times, no one wants them, no one will do it. I hate seeing so many people trapped in situations they don't want to be in and that the can't get out of. It's kind of like being held prisoner. I feel sorry for the men, hope they start groups and lobby the politicians to change things. Cass Sustein wants to make marriage a civil union, not a legal agreement. Men should contact him regarding this and see what they might be able to do with his idea.

Chris   April 2nd, 2010 9:56 pm ET

I work away from home for months at a time.I've been married for 35 ye ars and I love women.But,I've never cheated,even though I've had
lots of opportunities.A lot of the guys I work with have never cheated but some do.
Some guys can't stay married.I believe that once you cheat,it's the
beginning of the end.All trust is lost and in my line of work it is extremely easy to cheat.I work on a ship as an engineering officer

Putrri   April 2nd, 2010 9:57 pm ET

There is animal inside all of us. Some of us tame that animal and live as human but some others – let it prowl in the wild. No boundaries. Lack of moral values and culture. It's a choice we make in life to be part of human kingdom or animal kingdom. I trust we have 6th sense to think and make a better decisions. Weak mind, weak people. Irresponsible to oneself and love ones.

Luis Loza   April 2nd, 2010 9:57 pm ET

Wow! Im hearing nothing but ignorance by these doctors. You guys seem to ignore our socioeconomic structure, which is were the answer is at. If you want some real answers Larry, i recommend you bring a sociologist to the show. Those two doctors in your show only bring ignorance to the table, they are stuck in their micro study of the brain and aren't open minded like sociologist who take on a macro study. If you want real answers SOCIOLOGY is the key. i guarantee that if you were to ask these doctors to link capitalism and cheating they wouldn't be able to, on the other hand a sociologist would.

Scott from Columbia, SC   April 2nd, 2010 9:57 pm ET

Always a spirited debate, but I'm a little worried by how defeatist the on-air discussion has been. All the focus has been on drive and causal factors, which are largely outside of anyone's control — and very little discussion time has been spent on inhibitors, social contracts, and modes of confrontation/communication, which can help us to manage and control our biological and cognitive compulsions. Denying the existence of temptation is the first step in giving in it to it.

ronke   April 2nd, 2010 9:59 pm ET

I think this 'cheating thing' has to do with an individual and his/her personal way of life, cheating, to me, has to do more with indiscipline, we can make up our minds not to do somethings, we are human beings and we have the tendency to restrain ourselves from doing things that are not proper, we are not animals that cannot control themselves.

Kent   April 2nd, 2010 10:01 pm ET

. . . these so called experts do know squat.

I am almost 50 and have learned from life, I believe that it was by God's design for man to have more than one spouse.

Here is a simple question. Why is it, if God does not make mistakes, that women naturally stop being able to produce bear children between 45 and 50 years of age? On the other hand men can produce children well in to there 60's and 70's.

I mean God could have easily have made it to where men stopped being able to produce children around the same time as Women. From and ecco systems stand point ther is a reason for this, but not enough time to devlelop.

It most places, women far out number men. This too is on purpose, from and ecco system stand point. As a microcosim, if you take a small town with 5000 woemn and 1000 men in it, what do you think will happen from a sexual stand point? Men and women are naturually designed to pro-create. . . Sorry, those 1000 women married to those 1000 men dont's have chance of having a man that's going to be faithful. . . Mend are just desinged to have more the one spouse . . . .

Well this is my short answer. . . . wish I had more time to develop this and explain, but I don't.


Joan   April 2nd, 2010 10:02 pm ET

Married women are so money hungry, they not only want to take a man for as much as they can get out of him, if the guy tries to leave, they want to sue the other woman too. Money, money, money. Woman should just work, they would feel much better and not be doing any of those mean things. Love a man because you love him, not to get him to support you and if he no longer wants to, you want the house and alimony and child support and to sue his new wife. How much free money is enough?

inge howard   April 2nd, 2010 10:04 pm ET

The increase of cheating spouses is not the result of live styles of the Sixties or Seventies – it's the unlimited availability of porn these days.

jim brown   April 2nd, 2010 10:09 pm ET

The cave man did it – the Romans did it – the Victorians did it! Give it a break – it is not the end of the world. Live with it .....

Larry   April 2nd, 2010 10:14 pm ET

I'm stunned just tuning in how much I seem to be connected to tonight's show....My middle finger is more than a finger nail and change longer than the 2 surrounding digits, never noticed my E.T. finger before so thanks for the complex.... I have A.D.H.D off the galactic scale, used to date 5-6 girls at a time but love to have a girlfriend and do not cheat – But I seem to get bored and move on. I'm single and 41 and need, to put it lightly in Borat fashion, need to make sexy time even with my self' 1-2 times daily, rarely missing a day or I get nuts. I also partake in herbal pleasures to be able to focus out the noise of the A.D.H.D. My life truly is a struggle to do simple things and a wreck now, but I'll sing in front of 3,000 and blow fire without a sweat.... Now according to your show, all this is connected? So now what?

Pwb   April 2nd, 2010 10:23 pm ET

It's a question of responsibility and accountability plain and simple. Unacceptable behavior is unacceptable. If it is given a label of acceptability you end up where we are and where we are going. I'm not advocating violence – just identify the source of the problem and demand correction.

Susan   April 2nd, 2010 10:25 pm ET

Cheating is cheating.
Anyone who would cheat in a comitted relationship will also cheat on tests, taxes, business propositions, contracts and confidential conversations.

Amy   April 2nd, 2010 10:29 pm ET

So many people so quick to judge, sometimes no matt
er how hard you try, no matter how much you want the love to last for the kids or for whatever the reason is, sometimes it's just not there and you find the love you need somewhere else.

Cajazz76:24:8   April 2nd, 2010 10:45 pm ET


Where did you gather so much insight? I think you are the one who should be in the business of marital sure make a lot of sense. My eyes are not believing what you said...congrats! I am sure you startled a few of the morning glories who blogged in...

meret   April 3rd, 2010 12:03 am ET

Men marry the wrong women for the wrong reasons: looks and sex. Then when the sex haze cools they realize that they did not put enough thought into shared values. If you marry with your eyes, you repent with your heart.

patty   April 3rd, 2010 12:04 am ET

Susan is correct,,cheating is cheating,,& they WILL cheat in different aspects of their's happened to me...

meret   April 3rd, 2010 12:07 am ET

And now we know why Candy Spelling won't dignify that travesty of a marriage with her presence or her assets. That man is after the cash.

His ex wife looks much better and is far more engaging and educated than than Tori or her ex husband. She can do way better than Dean.

Rejection is God's protection.

meret   April 3rd, 2010 12:11 am ET


I think you are the "other woman" because you fell for the okey doke hook line and sinker.

Men cheat because they can. End of, full stop. And that goes for women who cheat too.

You can be Martha Stewart, Angelina Joli, and Oprah Winfrey rolled into one and they will lay down with the dumb bunny in the bar serving drinks.


Walter   April 3rd, 2010 12:15 am ET

What about married women who cheat on their husbands? You act like that does not exist.

albert   April 3rd, 2010 12:17 am ET

ok I understand that mostly it is men stepping out of their marriage but how about those married women that have affairs with married men what is up with that.

Ray Gordon   April 3rd, 2010 12:22 am ET

Enough bs!

Men are wired to cheat, well women are wired to choose cheaters. If they valued honesty in men, they wouldn't seek out the cheaters, and wouldn't call the honest guys "losers who can't get a woman."

These women are GORGEOUS and can get ANY type of man they want. They whine about how the rich guy cheats, yet will verbally abuse a nice guy who gets turned down for the cheater, telling him his attitude is the problem.

Ray Gordon   April 3rd, 2010 12:23 am ET

Correct, cheaters lack virtue.

Guess what? Women don't value virtue in a man. They didn't get lost on the way to the chess club when they found these guys.

Grant K.   April 3rd, 2010 12:29 am ET

My college buddies always said, "Men are as faithful as their options". I think the 'sting' is an unfair bear trap. As a married guy, nothing good happens when you are out after 2am....

henry   April 3rd, 2010 12:30 am ET


Joan described you as just PERFECT.... What was it like going to church alone to today...feel a bit crucified or resurrected?

pam chand   April 3rd, 2010 12:31 am ET

Sexual addiction is nothing more than a sorry excuse. For not bad but horrible morals.

Keely B   April 3rd, 2010 12:33 am ET

I am surprised by the media frenzy surrounding cheating, especially since Jon and Kate and Tiger Woods-who cares??? There are so many awful things happening in the world and we are watching pathetic media coverage on celebrity affairs!

Extra marital affairs are as old as the hills...I am not condoning the behaviour, but it seems our culture has gotten obssessed with it recently. And I think we should ask ourselves why that it is...The focus on cheating is a form of social control directed at maintaing the monogamous, nuclear family.

I would like the show to ask about women who cheat. Is it just men? And are we biologically pre-disposed to monogamy? There are bigger questions to be discussed here.

Your discussion is small minded.

Jim   April 3rd, 2010 12:42 am ET

People who cheat will cheat no matter how easy or hard it is to get caught. Some of us don't and won't cheat. This discussion is actually quite pointless because morality and faithfulness is defined differently in some peoples' minds. I am not saying they are right or wrong. I am just pointing out the truth. My point is that people, both men and women, need to be a lot more discriminating about who they choose as a lifetime partner whether they get married or not. There are signs some clear and some not so clear that you can look to that will give you a hint if someone is likely or will cheat on you. Be careful and take some responsibility about who you choose as a lifetime companion.

henry   April 3rd, 2010 12:44 am ET

Men don't run around sobbing on the shoulders of other men whining about the fact their old ladies cheated on them...they deal with it. Women are the humble pie they serve at their teas and Tupperware parties. Go get a life or get even...just go would be best if you cannot stand the heat in the kitchen....go get a job..go get a lawnmower and mow the lawn..fix all the broken doodads...and do whoever you want...but we just want to be friends..

Lola   April 3rd, 2010 12:52 am ET

I just found out today that my husband has been cheating on me, we havebeen married for 14 years, I am in a deep schock.

Tarik Tihan MD, PhD   April 3rd, 2010 12:56 am ET

These so called experts in this program about cheating are full of nonsense and love to make the trivial pseudoresearch results real scientific data. I will challenge all who participated in this program to try to show actual scientific data that really support their ridiculous claims. I will be happy to take on all of these pseudoscientists in a real scientific debate and see if any of their ridiculous assertions can stand the scrutiny of real scientific inquiry.
Shame on you CNN for making farse look like science.

henry   April 3rd, 2010 1:11 am ET

Mar 30, 1999 ... About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at ... of Affairs of the Net: The Cybershrinks' Guide to Online Relationships ... Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married ......even my dog cheats or his ole lady..the tramp

henry   April 3rd, 2010 1:15 am ET

Tarik Tihan MD PHD

Sounds like you have your ducks in a row...we are just humans animals that have animal lusts and desires...too easy to see through the forests of denial...

Peg   April 3rd, 2010 1:23 am ET

I have stayed with my husband of many years who took up with a waitress in Oklahoma, I Iknew he was doing things he shouldn't be for several reasons- it crushed me when the gal called his cell phone very late in to the night & left a message. He wouldn't answer the phone, he acted so guilty when I got a hold of the cellhone & heard the message. He lied, I called him on it, he then became hateful & rude to me. I told my husband if he didn't knock off the attitude, he wouldn't like the consquences of his actions. I also told him I'd never stand for this again. I stayed because I do not know that he'd gone so far as to have sex at that point, but it really broke my trust & I will never totally trust him again. I hope he's smart enough to realize that he's lucky I didn't kick his tail to the curb & take every thing. If there iever is a next time, all bets are off.

Joan   April 3rd, 2010 1:29 am ET

Cajazz, I just got thrown into this situation 6 years ago. I lived in San Francisco for 40 years, it's a very liberal city where people are kind and they think about the whole, about everyone in the city and are politically involved. SF instituted a minimum wage of $11 an hour and universal health care, not because it was good for one person, but because people there always think abou what is good for the entire society. So, when I moved to the suburbs and married men started hitting on me, I had never seen it before, my family from SF was like what? What are you talking about? So I studied the culture in the surburbs. I'm interested in why cultures do what they do. This place is loaded full of dysfunctions, whereas where I come from functions beyond well. So, after all these years up here of 30 married guys a day at the gym coming on to me and seeing married ones coming on to me in front of the wives and the desperation, and being the brunt of a bunch of strangers personal problems, those are the conclusions I have come to. I have no interest in married men. I'm always interested in things like why do a lot of people in one town live on welfare and in another town they don't? Why don't married men in SF bother women, yet in the suburbs they literally shove themselves off on women and sell it like it's so normal? So, you find out eventually that they are trapped and broke, women don't work, it's not like a big city, and that's the way it is. I feel sorry for these people. They are trapped for life and I don't see any way out for them. I see the cheating comes from the marriage is over, when relationships are over people start looking for someone else. It has zero to do with a stranger at the gym who wants nothing to do with them. It's needs unmet, problems they can't solve. I know other single women in the surburbs who are just as grossed out by the marrried men hitting on them as I am. I get a kick out of women always saying women are to blame. I have said no thanks to thousands of these guys, I get what's going on, but women refuse to deal with problems in their relationships so the blame strangers. One problem I see is if a woman lives off a man and falls out of love with him, she has to stay with him for money. That's when the sex gets cut off and the troubles begin. Women shouldn't be treated like dependent children.They should get educations and work and love men just because they do, not to be supported by them. Just my opinion. The situation is so full blown not working, it's a joke, and all the single women I know feel harrassed and dragged down by these married people trying to dump their personal problems on strangers. It shows the men are trapped, no one who had a solution to their problem would run around trying to pick up women who would never go with them.

Peg   April 3rd, 2010 1:33 am ET

I think it was crazy the blond woman who was "the other woman" if I understood correctly – thought that she had / the other women had the right to sue the husband. I find it absurd that they have any rights at all. People seem to for get that there's all these social dieases out there & people who will blackmail as a result of cheating. It would be smart to act like a descent human / spouce by keeping the pants zipped, hands etc to yourself.

Peg   April 3rd, 2010 1:37 am ET

I would not cheat, I believe that once you ask some one to marry you then you don't go around humping any thing & every thing that walks by. It's not right under any circumstance.

Peg   April 3rd, 2010 1:41 am ET


Brian   April 3rd, 2010 1:45 am ET

Cheating has become more popular through music.

Cajazz76:24:8   April 3rd, 2010 1:56 am ET


It's exactly why I said you should be a reconciliation specialist,..You have that insight to see what some fail to see and have criticized you for. If they had your ability they wouldn't be in denial.. Again, thanks for telling it like you see it. Hopefully, some will read it as you intended and if they take off their blinders they will..You have shed some light on a subject that offers some resolve for others...very good.

sue   April 3rd, 2010 3:58 am ET

has anyone brought up integrity; priorities or values and are we referring to long term infidelity relationships are the same as continuous one or two night stands

isn't that service bordering on an admitted pimp service

Earl   April 3rd, 2010 4:34 am ET

To the beautiful long blond haired woman on tonights show...

I would have to disagree with the statement that was made tonight. That 99.5% of men cheat! Not all men cheat! I'm not married and I'm currently single so but I don't cheat and nor have I ever cheated and I'm 37 years old!

Earl   April 3rd, 2010 5:13 am ET

Can a couple stay together?

Communication and the willingness is I believe the core success of any relationship! One of those elements without the other is a disaster.

Folks get into the relationship for the wrong reasons and not enough for the right reasons. The values of a relationship went on a descent in todays society and it keeps on ascending at a rapid rate. You can thank all the para tools around us especially in visuals and auditory.

* If their was communication then there wouldn't be infidelity in todays society!
* If you lack the discipline(work) to contain yourself around all that passion then it's a disaster!

sean mccarty   April 3rd, 2010 5:19 am ET

women cheat just as much as men do

serving in Iraq   April 3rd, 2010 5:24 am ET

Why is this one sided? Wives are just as guilty. they cheat – look on the internet for partners. I see no difference in men and women on this issue. If you are going to do a story please cover both sides.

I have seen so many wives cheat while their husbands are serving our country. I have seen so many loose everything

Jerry   April 3rd, 2010 5:25 am ET

Why is it the talk is why men cheat? Most the people I know it's been the women that cheat and not only cheat with men but cheat with women. Cheating is cheating no matter what sex they are cheating with.

Omotara   April 3rd, 2010 5:56 am ET

Man is born to be a polygamist. It is inbuilt in them but the ability to control this tendency depends on the man. The West is in denial. Cheating as the West calls it or having feelings for another woman as we see it dates back to centuries. it doesnt matter whether the person is rich or poor, men can love more than one women hence polygamy is thriving in some part of the world. Tiger wood and sandra bullock husband case came to the fore becuase they are famous. And when you are famous in the west, you have to be careful unlike in Africa it means nothing. It is in the west that women walk out of marriage because of cheating. Another thing, the mistress is not to blame, she was pursued and being vulnerable she fell. Pls let's face fact; the cheating men are to blame just like God blamed Adam for the apple mistake.

konrad   April 3rd, 2010 6:15 am ET

Last night you had a Show on infidelity in a marriage.

Why would you have a show on infidelity in a marriage on a

Creating 162, 000 Government Jobs does not count as a JOB.

Melissa   April 3rd, 2010 6:17 am ET

I absolutely agree w/Dr. Drew that people who cheat are people who have been traumatized in their pasts. My Dad cheated on my Mom for as long as I could remember. His Mom died when he was a child & his father did not parent the children 100% My older sister & myself have had committment issues for years. I carried on relationships w/unavailable men for years feeling that that was all I was going to find because men will always cheat. Thank you Dr. Drew for putting what I have always suspected into perspective. I have been dealing w/my issues more closely & now have more healthy sexual relationships.

Wolf B   April 3rd, 2010 6:30 am ET

Speculation about whether men or women cheat the most is, of course, fostering sexism. Would we invite this comparison across racial lines? So if this society has really evolved to a non-prejudicial standard, where we look at the individual and not the gender or race, let's maintain the standard.

More stereotyping is likely to lead to more cheating, because men become more objectified, not that they aren't already. Men are seen by many (men and women) as the provider, the money maker, the respondent to the question "Who's your daddy?" (meaning your sugar daddy or the one who pays for everything). Is view likely to lead to a loving and trusting relationship?

Chinazor   April 3rd, 2010 7:06 am ET

Its important to get into marriage without alterior motives. Be faithful to your spouse.If you are trully in love, you will surely not cheat. If you have cheated you can make amends with your sincere actions. Marriage is important for the contenuity of the world. Can you imagine the world without humans? I am sure there are happy families, i am sure there are young people worldwide who are with healthy and positive views about marriage and the family. Fidelity is not only keeping to your word, but positive ones.

mo da cat   April 3rd, 2010 8:59 am ET

Everyone talks about cheating men, but what do women do?
If I am walking by myself some women will cross the street to avoid eye contact or say hello, but if I am with a women or my daughter, they will do anything to get my attention. The more you ignore women the harder they try to get your attention. It's like they are hard wired to need to be desired by many men. I have had one woman tell me that she likes to turn on guys at work, she feels like this behavior arouses her and helps her to be more intimate with her husband when she goes home. Many women seem truly energized by their ability to attract men. It seems like women don't necessarily want you, but the more guys that want them, the better.
Men wind up with a bad name but women enjoy the attention. I have had married women and women that knew I was married, both flirt and give me clear signals that I could pursue them for a sexual relationship. I choose not to do it. I just play stupid, and give them a very unemotional response.

olga   April 3rd, 2010 9:24 am ET

women stay because of the children & because they cannot earn a living..but there are excellent lawyers around who will help them ...

larry   April 3rd, 2010 9:30 am ET

Laine is correct..they are "bad Karma"..some men who cheat wear wedding rings & some do not trust a man who travels..he's lonely in a hotel room & looking for something extra..while his wife is home w/the children...some men have mistresses in every city that they do business in. It's common knowledge. among executives./SAD/.

kelly   April 4th, 2010 3:58 am ET

Apparently my last post was too difficult for the producers and other like minded minions to swallow. SO, now I will use the dictionary-you can't argue with that my "duplicitous" overseers:

"Cheating" is called "cheating", because it is cheating,

From the dictionary.
cheat   [cheet] Show IPA
–verb (used with object)
to defraud; swindle: He cheated her out of her inheritance.
to deceive; influence by fraud: He cheated us into believing him a hero.
to elude; deprive of something expected: He cheated the law by suicide.
–verb (used without object)
to practice fraud or deceit: She cheats without regrets.
to violate rules or regulations: He cheats at cards.
to take an examination or test in a dishonest way, as by improper access to answers.
Informal. to be sexually unfaithful (often fol. by on): Her husband knew she had been cheating all along. He cheated on his wife.
a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds: He is a cheat and a liar.
a fraud; swindle; deception: The game was a cheat.
Law. the fraudulent obtaining of another's property by a pretense or trick.
an impostor: The man who passed as an earl was a cheat.
Use cheating in a Sentence
1325–75; ME chet (n.) (aph. for achet, var. of eschet escheat); cheten to escheat, deriv. of chet (n.)

—Related forms
cheat·a·ble, adjective
cheat·ing·ly, adverb
outcheat, verb (used with object)
un·cheat·ed, adjective
un·cheat·ing, adjective

1. mislead, dupe, delude; gull, con; hoax, fool. Cheat, deceive, trick, victimize refer to the use of fraud or artifice deliberately to hoodwink or obtain an unfair advantage over someone. Cheat implies conducting matters fraudulently, esp. for profit to oneself: to cheat at cards. Deceive suggests deliberately misleading or deluding, to produce misunderstanding or to prevent someone from knowing the truth: to deceive one's parents. To trick is to deceive by a stratagem, often of a petty, crafty, or dishonorable kind: to trick someone into signing a note. To victimize is to make a victim of; the emotional connotation makes the cheating, deception, or trickery seem particularly dastardly: to victimize a blind man. 8. swindler, trickster, sharper, dodger, charlatan, fraud, fake, phony, mountebank. 9. imposture, artifice, trick, hoax.

Ted   April 4th, 2010 8:54 am ET

This is a one sided accusation on infidelity, it seems only men go astray. However, those nasty men usually do it with women who are also married.

Ladies, if your husband goes shopping outside of your district, then ask yourself:

Do I have headache or am I tired every time my husband is ready for love?
Do I enjoy and have a good sex with my husband or he would be better off with the lady from Rubber Maid?
Do I have an asse as large as the elephant in the zoo, with fat rings around my waste?
Do I feed my husband mostly from cans, such as baked beans and hotdog every other day?
Do I dress myself so the baglady from the sewer could teach me a few things about fashion??
Did I marry my husband because I loved him and wanted with him a mutual future or did I look for someone to support me so I can fix my fat asse on the couch and watch TV all day?

Men, who are happy at home, have good sex when they want, get a decent supper when they come home and their wives is nice to look at, usually do not go astray.
If your answer is yes for any of above questions, then you know why your husband needs outside attention.

Ted   April 4th, 2010 8:59 am ET

@ kelly

We appreciate your english course.

Dodie   April 4th, 2010 12:06 pm ET

@ Ted

Thank You!

Pat Pokon   April 4th, 2010 1:32 pm ET

Regarding the "mistress" who thinks the woman who has an affair with a man she knows is married: She says the "Other Woman" isn't doing anything wrong. Baloney. One of the Ten Commandments says you should not covet your neighbor's wife. By the same token, you should not covet your neighbor's husband. Also many religions, not just Christianity, tell people to treat others as you would have them treat you or at least to not treat others as you would not want them to treat you. So even attempting to attract or "steal" another person's spouse is just simply wrong – immoral. If you see a dog you like in someone's yard, would you open the gate and entice him to come with you perhaps by dangling a nice piece of meat in front of him? If he comes home with you, is it not theft? Is it the dog's fault that he followed the person dangling the bait in front of him? I don't see a great deal of difference between that and a woman's enticing a married man to have an affair or leave his wife for her. Sure, a human being is SUPPOSED to have better reasoning powers than a dog, but I'm talking about the actions of the person doing the enticing, not the one responding to the enticement. And because a human being is SUPPOSED to have better reasoning ability than a dog, he should know it's wrong to "follow the bait" (to continue the analogy).

Also, as I have advised my children: If you get involved with a married person, you have in effect told that person it's ok to cheat. If that person leaves his/her spouse for you, you have given that person permission to cheat on you. And perhaps you would deserve that.

sammy   April 4th, 2010 2:03 pm ET

nowadays it's important ::Post/nup...Pre/nup ....BOTH ..! this is what the rich and famous do..a woman always knows but some stay together because of children...difficult to get rid of an addiction ...

dolores   April 4th, 2010 8:16 pm ET

I would not stay..but lawyers charge $300 an hour here in the Midwest...dammed if you do & dammed if you don't,,make a list: positives? negatives?..if they have a sexual's better to leave..would I have everything to Gain & nothing to lose? or the complete opposite?.."there's an end to every beginning & a beginning to every end"...would take much thought...

Bethany   April 5th, 2010 10:20 am ET

When I was 22 I married my high school sweetheart. I stayed by his side while he went to Iraq. I stayed faithful to him and supportive of him while he was gone for a year. When he came home I supported us working 50 odd hours a week while he looked for a job. Soon after I became pregnant with our daughter. During that time I worked 60 hours a week to provide for us. Even when he lost his job and our insurance was cancelled a month before I was due. I stayed with him through all his abuse, even after he threated to kill me and held a gun to his head 2 weeks before my due date. I stayed through all the physical abuse. I gave him a child and supported him through everything because I loved him.
When our daughter was a months old he came home one night and told me that he had been having an affair with a coworker in my home. In my bed, in front of my sleeping daughter. He told me that my body disgusted him and that he no longer loved me. And that she was everything to him. We tried to work it out for my daughter's sake. But the other woman wouldn't respect that. I can still hear her voice taunting me through the phone. I can still see her text messages telling him that she could be more than I was.
I know that it was his fault and that he shouldn't have allowed this person in our home. But I think that she has a responsibility too. We need to be teaching our children RIGHT from WRONG. YOU DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MARRIED MEN NO MATTER WHAT. This was a principle that I held onto while I was single and still do now. YOU DON'T DO WHAT YOU WANT REGARDLESS OF WHO YOU HURT. Because of this person and they're choice I will have to someday explain to my daughter where her birth father is and why he isn't with us.
I have moved on, I have a wonderful man in our lives who is raising my daughter as his own and in October we are expecting a child of our own. And I am very glad that the marriage is over. But the way that it ended has left me with scars that I doubt I will ever be able to shake off. And that terrifies me. I wish that it hadn't ended the way that it did.

Bethany   April 5th, 2010 3:03 pm ET

I would like to say that while I did gain weight after the birth of our daughter, I was always open and willing in our sex life. It shouldn't be about gaining weight or sex though. When you make that commitment it is for life. I am an attractive woman and even after gaining weight I was still approached by men. However I stayed FAITHFUL because I was married and it was the right thing to do. Oh and by the way, my divorce in Nebraska costs $1500 and I'm still waiting for it to finalize. Was is worth'd better believe it.

Joan   April 5th, 2010 3:42 pm ET


Women don't listen to what men are saying. Men think about sex every few minutes, it's biological. Women give them sex to get a house and never have to work, once they can take a guy for alimony, the house, child support, they cut the sex off. Gene Simmons always says marriage is the worst investment a man can make. Every man in every chatboard regarding cheating tells the women they want sex, they don't like being used for money, they don't like fat woman. Every woman in every chatboard about cheating refuses to hear what the men are saying because all they care about is cutting the man off sexually, domesticating him, not having to work, telling the man he's nothing, she works so much harder at home than he works supporting the entire family working two jobs and that it's fine for women to be fat. Women found their meal ticket, they can't hear what men really want and need because they do not care. All they care is if he's sex starved and broke from them irresponsibily spending all the money, too bad for him, she has him financially trapped, and if he wants another woman, it must be the woman's fault, sue her, get more free money. Women don't care what men want, they care about what women want. The only way this situation will ever change, is if women don't get alimony and the house and the kids. Women wouldn't get married if there weren't big financial benefits to it. People should both work and only get married because they love each other, not to live off a person. Unless men work to change the divorce laws, marriage laws, women won't ever hear what men are saying. The fact they tune it out shows they are not even real marriage material.

Bethany   April 5th, 2010 4:52 pm ET

Joan, are you serious? Being married has nothing to do with wanting to dominate somebody or live off of them. Its about loving somebody and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them. When I got married and had our daughter I gave up MY CAREER to raise our child. It had nothing to do with wanting to live off of him. In fact when I wanted to go back to work I was fought with nothing but resistence. My ex was NOT SEX STARVED and I belive that you'll find that most husbands aren't. It was not about my lack of being a good wife. It was about him making a poor choice. I don't think that anybody deserves to be cheated on. And as for your comment about changing the divorce laws, I agree, they do need to change. They need to be stricter. As it is my ex is 6 months behind on child support and refuses to see the child that he helped create.

Elaine   April 5th, 2010 6:43 pm ET

There are many reasons why people cheat, but as Stephen Smith has previously said on Larry King, there are many men who are unhappy in their marriages and this is underreported. Men are usually and often unfairly blamed.

I have seen many men who are unhappy in their relationships and do not know how to get out of them. These men are unvariably with manipulative, possessive and domineering women who initially presented themselves as kind and innocent. That is the real tragedy.

Just Simple Loves To Watch Larry King Show!   April 6th, 2010 3:51 am ET


I think Normal Public People Who CHEATS!!! IS DISGUSTING!!!!



A WORLD FAMOUS FIGURE !? and is STILL USED AS A Role Model to Children, Teenager AROUND THE WORLD ???!!!



I mean regardless whether it is the men who is cheating his wife or the other way round I think it is disgusting if thaty one cannot kept or stay loyal to the one they FIRST VOW TO LOVE IN GOOD TIMES OR BAD, IN SICKNESS IN HEALTH TILL DEATH DO THEM PART! IT IS REALLY (x3) SAD!

Just Simple Loves To Watch Larry King Show!   April 6th, 2010 4:10 am ET

Hey Mr Larry,

No one ever written or say marriage is Easy! Marriage is like a set of cutlry for a steak meal! Like a pair of hands in every human body! One Cannot Do Without The Other!

Every time a Young Couple Fells in LOVE OH ! It Is SOOOOooo SWEEeeT ! And the bells rings, the bees and birds are Singing! BUT
AND THEN they forget to continue to
2. forget what the reason they first love the person soooooooo much!!
3. Allow themselves to fiind excuses to be a coward and RUN AWAY from a situation instead of sitting down to settle problems!
4. knocking some sense into the other party and sit them down to talk without all the vulgularity and shoutting match at each other like when they fall in LOVE MADLY WITH EACH OTHER!!


The above alll some how also contributes to the Asia LOW RATE OF BIRTH OTHER THAN THE FINACIAL SIDE OF THINGS mainly inflation!
Problems = to new couples fear and it is better also to stay childless so just in case we decide to divorce
To loving couple = too much to bring a child into such a messy world! Just like many(x3) of my married friends!

Ted   April 6th, 2010 11:53 am ET

@ Joan

You are bitter and your comments are very surprising to come from a woman. They usually think always the men are at fault and will never admit, that their doings slowly killed the marriage.
I repeat, most men do not cheat, because they want another sexpartner, they do it, because they are very unhappy at home.
Naturally there are men who are sick in the head, I have such a friend, who want to prove they can get any woman. However, they are in a minority.

@ Bethany

You should never gain more weight than the weight of the child and the water it is in.
After birth in six months you should be back in your normal size, unless you eat too much and move very little.
I am happy you have a good husband this time, your first one was sick, perhaps from his experiences in Iraq.

Bethany   April 6th, 2010 12:17 pm ET

Ted, seriously? This is obviously a guy talking. I gained weight because my lifestyle completely changed after having our daughter. Regardless weight gain is never an excuse for cheating. Thats a cop out for not staying faithful to the vow you made before your God and family. In my expirience marriage is work, hard work, but worth it. An unhappy home can become a happy home when you work at it. My parents were married for 27 years, had 5 children and remained faithful to each other even though they had their share of problems. When my father died in January from a work accident, my mother told me that their marriage was the best that it had ever been. Why? Because instead of jumping on the nearest piece of tail that walked by they worked out their problems. We as a society need to get back to that point of view. Instead of bailing out and looking for the next best thing we need to invest in the relationships that we have built and work through the hard times whether we are happy or not.

Shellie   April 6th, 2010 7:02 pm ET

Ok so after reading all the post on here well most of them....I'm quiet iratated.....One, with my ex I put up with enormis lies from the get go, cheating and still forgave him and even had my first child with him.....and even through all the crap i stood by his side and did what I could to make things right....And that still wasnt good enough....the lying and cheating contuined....Now is that fair?? I worked a full time job took care of the house our child and even did thing on the car.....Now does that make me a bad spouse??? NO! Now I know women cheat but they do it after they have had enough of abuse, now when i say abuse some can be physical , but usually its from the mental and physical abuse. The love they once had is gone for there spouse and the trying and hard work has finally went away...And i know it may seem unfair to men but I have noticed men will cheat just to cheat....because its fun or because omg home life is just so hard for them to deal with....and it is not fair because most women now a days work and come home take care of the kids and the house work and everything else and still try and make time for there spouse and that still isnt enough for them....

And it seems like the vows we take in front of god and our friends and family doesnt mean anything to the men....just words and thats it....Which highly ticks me off...When I married my husband now, which was a huge step for me becasue well marriage scares the living hell out of me I took my vows seriously....and well forever stick by them, but the one thing i will not deal with in my marriage is lies deceit or cheating....No way no how, and if i even have a suspesion of any of that going on....i will dig more into and become a super spy. no one should ever have to deal with it! treat others how you want to be treated I say.

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