Tonight on Larry King Live

Isn't tomorrow April Fools Day?

In my experience, I have learned that once a cheater, always a cheater. (A leopard doesn't change it's stripes).
there is nothing more to be said, it's very sad what happened to Sandra, but she is not the first, and not the last women to go through this ordeal, I feel very bad for her, and all the other women that had to go through this humiliation.
I would never stay with a cheating spouse. It really hurts.

NO!

So sad that Sandra Bullock is heartbroken. Sandra, please be take care of yourself. God bless.

he's a weirdo ,,he's gotta go ...she will be fine,,there is always sunshine after the rain ,,,

If anyone can, throw the first stone. I believe that ALL relationships now days require that the individuals believe enough in themselves as to off-set this mistake that can be made by either one-side or the other. Although this situation has been going on for all of our existence, I truly believe it is time to rethink the old testament type of marriage, where women came together in work as well as home life for reasons other than the facts commonly sited. Did you know that for every male child born today (in this country) 3 females are born as well. Did you know that women out live males by existing sometimes twice as long? I would like to try the old-methodology again just to compare all of the advantages and dis-advantages.

There are scattered reports that Sandra Bullock has already in the process of DIVORCING Jessie James. I hope she is and goes forward with her life and not look back at the train wreck of her first marriage.

@ David Kaas, I wondered how long before a Thumper started up with the bible quotes, NOT LONG it seems.

Sandra is too good for him!

She should leave him. He took her for granted. Showed her who he really is so she should move forward. Sandra, I love you lots.

Sandra, he is not worth your tears.

Wow Lauren Sanshez is super fine, hey pretty woman! 😉

@Smith
if more of us were reading the bible, we would have been better people. Jesse would not have committed adultery.

Get hooked on the bible and not on porn or gossip magazines!

Sandra Bullock has made it absolutely CLEAR she is NOT adopting Jessie James children he had with his stripper first wife. Larry's guest sounds like he is totally out of the loop in current events. Jessie's children is Jessie's baggage and is not going to be any part of Sandra Bullocks future baggage.

I would never be able to trust him again. EVER. I don't care what kind of help he receives or for how long. No way. Never again.

Some women really enjoy bad boys! I guess Sandra is one of them.... What is the problem here?

Jesse is dumb, but women need to stop walking dogs, they know full well who they are dating or marring! They are fifty Percent of the Problem, for not being strong enough to stay away from these bad boys, how can you say that they would be a great father for your children, when they are banging everything in a dress or pant suit!!!

Jesse checks into a treatment facility? For what, a guilty conscience? He should have got counseling before he started screwing around, not afterwards. I guess they have some new treatment program specifically targeted to aid those individuals who simply get caught cheating on their spouse! Only people who are rich would waste money to enter a treatment facility for feeing guilty for marital infidelity, unless they're suicidal. The best thing to do is get a good lawyer and forget it, Sandra's gone, you threw it all away Jesse - it's over!

@ Kathryn, I'm not hooked on Porn nor gossip magazines, are you? As for the 'bible' some of that book appears to be clearly stolen from other religions, not borrowed entirely intact but stolen in regards to the drunk monks that inserted it didn't themselves fully understand where that theology fit into the other religion themselves.

@ Dodie

How have you been doing, long time since last blog

With the name Jessie James... one must ask ... what is up with that name? To carry a name of an infamous killer and gangster? That should have been the first sign!

@ Richard, Kankakee, IL.

Doing great! I have not seen you on for a while either.

Nothing like a surprise STD showing up with your spouse! I would imagine Sandra Bullock is quite concerned of that possibility and wouldn't doubt if she hasn't already consulted with her personal MD during her separation.

@ Dodie

I have been working on getting a PH.D.

Good evening Dodie, nice to see you online tonight, 'waves sez howdie'.

Jesse James is NOT related to the outlaw Jesse James. You can see on the Official Family Site, an article discussing how he refuses to provide DNA that would prove he is a descendant of the James family. I wish people would stop spreading misinformation supporting his claim until he is willing to prove it.

@ A. Smith, Oregon

That is the main reason that I don't cheat, I remember when I first got into the Army, we would take HIV test every six months, just the thought of getting AID, scared the heck out of me, I was thinking about not getting infected all the time. If AIDS or HIV can't get you to stop sexing around I do know what will!

No way, no how. If we cheat on our love ones, why did we get married?
thanks, betterhealth4you

Anytime I met a girl who later cheated i felt as if she was putting my life in danger or trying to kill me in some way!

@ Richard, I understand that. Many of the more common STD's are also becoming 'superbugs' in regards to standard treatments are not effective and they are quickly becoming very difficult to completely treat and eradicate.

Give me a break. We were all just waiting to hear that Jesse James is in rehab for "sexual" addiction. I see he learned a thing or two from Tiger Woods. Of course he is in rehab because he is just trying to cover his butt, to try to help his pathetic image. So now according to Hollywood every man that is a dog has a "sexual" addiction. I'm really hoping that Sandra being the beautiful, amazing talented person that she is will kick his sorry butt to the curb. She deserves so much better!!!

@ A. Smith, Oregon

Good evening A. Smith! Waving back at ya! Always enjoying your blogs. You bring so much information. to LKL

@ Richard

Ph.D. in what discipline?

I would like to say "Thank you TIger, thank you Jessie." Because of you two, honest, faithful husbands like me are now suffering through weeks of the "all men are pigs" syndrome. While I will get past this, and many men like me, for every one of us who does, one or two, maybe more will figure, "If I'm gonna be made to pay, I'm gonna get laid." Congratulations, you'be done your part to further degrade holy matrimony in our decadent society, and made many blameless brothers suffer.

Tiger was a total fiend when it came to sexing around, I don't know who in their right mind would want to sleep with a porn star, just the mire number of men that they have sleep with on and off of screen scares me to death! Yuck!

@ Dodie

PhD Hydroponics-Aeroponics

@ Richard, undoubtedly many of Tiger's escort queens had been with a vast many men, however those working in Nevada where quite a number were employed, have regular checkup's for STD's.

All men seem to be like animals......I am not mARRIED, or in a relationship currently. However I have had five young husbands,and if one woman is not enough for one man........divorece is the only answer...in my opinion. Let them have whomever they choose. Sex rehab....what a joke. Just more money on something like Doctor Drew. Hah....Find a man that can be happy with one woman.....good luck. Jesse James is a pig.....but who knows what liess beneath the real Sandra Bullock. larry you have had a few women in your lifetime. What do you think????

@ A. Smith, Oregon

Yeah I know, I have taught relationship classes before and we covered the vast number of things that you could get infected with!

@ Richard and A. Smith

You both have that right! Any intimate relationship is like having relationships with all those that proceeded you.

Addiction comes about when it disrupts other areas in your life...

I have to admit, this kinda of thing can happen to a woman too. In my younger days, now in my 50's, I had several affairs with men. I think at the time I was obsessed with sex. Thankfully my husband stayed with me the whole time, well he actually left for a few weeks, but always believed in me, loved me and through it all has brought me to where I am today. Today I am very loyal, loving and am glad to have been married 35 years. I know all of this sounds strange, but I think the media, along with sexual obsessions can cause this kind of thing BUT the person does not have to act on this. Diseases, love for my husband and love for God have taken away this awful lust of sex. Thanks for letting me vent!

@ Richard

Plan to work on our water systems?

@ A. Smith, Oregon

But that does not mean that the men and or women in their personal relationships are so kind as to get check on a regular basis

@ A. Smith, Oregon

We had that problem with TB in this area. and it became epidemic. There was no treatment for this new strain. Pretty scary...

now how can you talk and type at the same time... just teasing you

Richard

after teaching a class like that, I would imagine everyone would move into celibacy!

There is no such thing as sex addiction!!! as human beings we need it. some may want it more than others, but it doesn't mean they are addicted. Only in America people believe there is a sex addiction.

I'm watching your discussion of Sexual Addiction with the 2 Therapists

I was a sex addict and also a daily beer&reefer consumer. My then-wife demanded I complete a 30,Inpt Rehab Program. I did successfully graduate from the Program but it backfired on my wife for when I finally came home I was no longer an addict. I wasn't addicted to Anything including sex with my wife! And all the meetings I attended, all the counseling sessions, all the reading I did on the subject amounted to squat! Since the time of completeing that Alch/Drug Rehab I have not been able to creat and maintain a successful relationship with a wife/girlfriend. Advice?

@ Dodie

Some, people would be surprised at how unclean our water is, being that it is treated but not filter to removed every possible contaminate, that is why all of our homes must have a filter system and biological sterilizer. People would also be surprised at knowing that only about one percent of the Earth's water is clean enough to be drank by mankind!

I would like to know what will happen when a serial rapist uses sex addiction as a defense?Some lawyer is going to use it.

@ Dodie

lol, i hope not just be a little bit more careful, and thoughtful of others too!

Give me a break

It is not the attraction... you dope. It is a issue of control.

We are referring to the condition of sexual addiction and pulling in doctors but what about the biological evolutionary component? That is, that men are not historically monogamous and only a small percentage of worldwide cultures are monogamous and most are polygamous. This is discussed in books such as "Beautiful People have Daughters" or something like this. There is also a definate emotional aspect as was also acknowledged by the sex addiction doctors so it seems like the physcial compulsion is less to blame then the personal, emotional and biological evolutionary components. This theory also says that men weilding power and wealth do have more suitors and will have more females at their beck and call. So, maybe instead of being shocked by this happening again and again we can sit back and say 'oh, there it happens again since that's the way it has been for eons' unfortunate but true. Just to examine another aspect of this that the show is not bringing up.

@ Dodie, unfortunately TB already requires a strict requiem of treatment, with the super-bug forms, that is longer and more complicated as you know.

@ Richard, indeed a hit and run affair can lead to very difficult consequences down the road. For many, that's life and not that uncommon. Thanks to the Obama Administration, more people are taking better care of themselves and also thinking about healthier lifestyles.

This was directed at Larry's guests...

Why do everyone (most) say this man is a sex addict? If he wanted to jump up and down on his wife all the time and she liked it, would he then be a sex addict? Tiger just got caught, bug he has money and is in the media. Therefore, it has to be called a "sickness of addiction" instead of just plain ol' he wanted to be the King of the Jungle with much game. These women knew he was married too. They know who he is, so shouldn't they be called something or be treated as well?

Whether Sandra Bullock had an inkling or not I feel for her....here it should be her moment to shine... nominated then winning the Academy Award. These poor men who can't handle their wives doing better & getting ALL the attention. Now, he's ill with sexual addiction. UGH!!! Why in God's name is dear ol' Dr. Drew on Larry King. I'd be ashamed if I held the Title of Dr. & was the host of celebrity rehab & now the authority on sexual addiction. By the way Kathryn...if the Bible does the trick...then why are there so many priests that practice pedophilia? Also, do you remeber Jim Baker, Jimmy Swaggart just to name a few. The Bible is not always the answer. By the way as someone else said....why does someone always bring in religion in every topic?????

@ Richard

Yes, I head about the blue green algae removing all the oxygen from fresh water. A. Smith informed me about Bush purchasing the largest Aquifer in S. American. I suspect for this reason.

Hi everyone,

People who cheat on their wives husbands, are unable to relate to a person. They can't relate intimately. They spend their lives with themselves or looking for one more trophee to add to his/her sexual prowesses.
By the way, the cheater tonight is not tiger wood. You keep forgetting whom we are talking about and that is JESSE JAMES.

@ A. Smith, Oregon

Sometimes we get a blessing, i hope people will realize that being in good health is far more valuable then having a million dollars, with the costs in health-care these days, even that is not enough money to ensure that you will remain healthy!

As with any addiction what really needs to be addressed is the core values and immature emotional management that one engages in that perpetuates compulsive behaviors. No matter what the compulsion, alcohol, drugs, love, sex etc., comes from not being emotionally mature and not learning how to manage one's life. They are lacking key values to derive healthy stimulation from. We advocate Health Based Recovery which teaches people to create and work towards a life vision, identify values that make up who they are and who they want to be, Then teach them how to get there. There is not enough information out there to help people who may think they have a problem but have no idea what to do about it or even to validate that there is a problem.

Responding to the comment that women are drawn to these men because of something in their own makeup that is lacking is not true. Sexual addicts compartmentalize their life, they will do anything to keep the worlds separate. They are good at it, the lying, the secrecy and it hits most partners as a total surprise. They may have had problems in the marriage but to say they should have known what was going on is absurd.

People who seek recovery have to take responsibility for their actions, it is a choice, albeit one riddled with compulsive effects but a choice nonetheless. But a person who is riddled with guilt and shame over their behaviors should be able to seek help and be validated and get the help they need. To deny that their problems are real, that they have compulsions they cannot control, is to say that an alcoholic does not need help to overcome their compulsive drinking.

On the subject of sex addiction, I can understand Steve Smith's comments. Some men are using "sex addiction" as an excuse. However, for someone like Tiger Woods I can see this more than others because of his compulsive behaviour. I have heard he has a rigid workout routine when playing the golf tour. To become the superior golfer he is, there must be some compulsive obsessive tendencies. Now we know it not limited to only golf.

@ Richard, very true. With poor health the richest pay whatever it takes to try and regain their health, while the poor often roll over the die. Without good health, nothing else shines in the positive way that it should.

I think Steve is right , I also think sex clinics are just another way of making money....these high profile guys, cheat get caught then run to the sex addiction clinic, its a way to save face.
.

@ A. Smith

Cute term "hit and run affair" Hopefully that will slow down. Too many Aids, HIV, Hep C and other incurable diseases that cause death. Just not worth it.

Yes the TB was incurable and very problematic. From people in other countries. Do not want to name the countries. I am sure you know

@ Theresa

You have me laughing. You go woman!!! let them have it!

The funny thing is that people play games with other people, too keep them interested in them until they get married, and then once the person that they played game on finally marries them, they lose all interest in that person, they like the game far more then the person that they married. So sad!

Just wondering if treatment at these sex addiction clinics are covered by health insurace plans or are the clinics only open to the wealthy who can just write a check o r put it on their amex card?

Once a cheat ALWAYS a CHEAT its in there blood, it's like a drug addiction, they'll replaps soon as there "perfect drug" comes along and they feel they can get away with it. That is why Sandra is a smart lady, i pray she didn't get any diseases etc. I know this is shallow but she could have done better, much better, he wasn't even good lookin waz up with that! She really got a bum deal!

Sex addiction is not an excuse for cheating. How about things are not good at home and the current circumstances are not what they need to be for the person to leave, and sex is a good release, and when it's with a sexual dynamo and there is a real connection, can be fun, exciting and a great release.
Tiger, Jesse and every other celebrity do not need to be raked over the coals for stepping outside of their marriage. It happens, get over it. Perhaps if the real issues could be addressed the sex life at home might improve at home.

The Sex Therapist proclaimed "Men cheat!" Who does she believe they are cheating with? It appears obvious that women must cheat as well.

Larry, monogamy is just a western thing. Chirstians in other countries marry many wives. In america, everyone pretends men would be faithful. That's why we get a high rate of divorce, cheating, etc. However, polygamy is not a cure for cheating, because there is no limit to greed. Men are greedy and they want to accummulate as many wives, mistresses or one night stand as possible. It's in their genes to make many children.

when did it become ok for a man to cheat on his wife and get away with just because he goes to rehab. Now every man in the world who wants his cake and ice cream, will think it is ok to cheat and then go to rehab. Please !!!! this is just a shame and i think Elin should leave Tiger and take him for what he is worth.

@ aliou Florida

There are many reasons for cheating. Not just because one cannot sustain an intimate relationship. Human behavior can not be equated in just black and white. We are too complex

Larry. I have no idea why Tiger case is so big?
it is simple. What people do in their marriage it is there own business.
who cares he did not committed any crime...
lets face it woman got the power – and men are the slaves.
then you have some Ph.D. telling you on National TV – it is a sickness... wow.
Larry tell the Doc's face it ... you might have great marriage but bad sex life in it.

historical records of the Bible shows us that the wealthy and powerful crave who they cannot have. example are King David and King Solomon

I do not have the time or heart for this crap. Who IS this guy on the show?? Some men aren't happy?? Well, many women aren't happy. Cheating, no matter what you say, cheating is a pathetic, selfish choice–man or woman. Not happy? Fix it or leave. Do yourself, your spouse and your kids a favor. What happened to trying? Cheaters are Cowards.

A. Smith... is that you talking on LKL? lol

Steven Smith has hit the situation right on the head. All animals act this way..

@ aliou Florida

Humans are far more complex and dynamic then that, none of us are just one thing in anything in our lives!

stephen smith is right on !!!!! he speaks truth form both sides men and women. he is bold and lays it on the table .

@ aliou, a open marriage where the partner or partners also have intimate relationships with others, vs a closed marriage where it is agreed upon fidelity is a matter of being truthful with the person you trust your love and life with.

If you can't be truthful with that person, that bodes ill for you as a person and all that you do as a person.

I fnd it a bit one sided for Tiger and James to be so vilified by what they did and the women are not held to the same criticism. Each of the women knew the these men were married and they freely choose to sleep with them,. I think they would have taken these men from their wives if they could have. All of these women have one thing on their minds and that is how they can make money on exploting their sexual exploits. Why is it that no one really talk about all the wrong these women have done.

Both Tiger & Jessie had a type that they cheated with. IMO if they truely had an addiction appearance wouldn't matter as much as opportunity.

@ Richard

Yes, both women and men like challenge and some more than others. Hopefully by the time one becomes in their 50s, they tire of the games and need for challenge!

Mr Smith on the show tonight hopefully someday will find some healing himself. He seems to be in denial about his own behavior.. 12 step programs are available for any addict whether their rich or not. Thank you Dr. Drew!!!!!

What about the women? They know that men like tiger and jesse are married they cannot be that dumb. Yes the men need to take responabity for their action but so do the women. Do not tell me they do not know that Tiger Woods and Jesse James were not marries I know women who like the game of taking a man from his wife. I had a girl telling that she was going to take my father from my mother. It take two to cheat. It is not an addication it plain and simple they wanted SEX

Very tragic about the teen suicide. This needs to stop! Educators need to take on responsibility...

I am a 25 year old guy who is in a committed relationship and happy. I have not cheated on my girlfriend but I am a sex addict. I have been suffering with compulsive masturbation and feel that when I am alone it is hard to manage my sexual desires. I was sexually abused from 10-14 and it is something that I have tried to move on from but it is difficult. I have not tried to have sex with other people per se because of my relationship with the woman I love and want to marry but the idea of cheating is powerful. The idea of a sexual encounter with anyone seems attrative and that is why I always use porn and sometimes drugs to enhance the craving. I am ashamed and it is sad to be this way. I feel like a prisoner of my habits and it is my bigeest burden in life. For Stephen A. Smith, I am a man as well with the cravings for multiple woman but I don't act on them in fear of losing my love but I am still addicted to pornography and masturbation and that is a sex addiction. My only job now is to get help and evolve. Thank you for talking about this subject and giving awarness to a problem that plagues many.

I was in that life style of gitting mren to pay big money for it. And I am here to tell you all that a man will cheet if the okace is right and the time is right.

All the 10,000 men I must have had in Las Vegas in the 60's when I was the top gal in Las vegas Casinos . I know how men do it every chance they get . So If you are trying to say they have a addiction to sex you sure do not understand a real man.Men are always thinking of having sex with every women thry see. If they are in a marrage that does nit stop them from thinking about it. What is the B.S. about sex addition? It is a B.S for DR to get some =money from the cheeter and act like they need help?

They will not stop thinking about it untell they are dead.
So stop the B.S with conning all the country about guys being addited to sex ? They are all just being the mongers that they were born to be.. It is B.S . all of it

I hope you women do not beleave they can be cured? Do not get conned into beleaving it.
It is a lie. I was in Prostitution for 13 years in the 60's i was on the arm of many celbertys and I am the expert when it comes to men and sex. Just get real, Have a great night Janie

Richard

I have seen it on TV... I thought it was hilarious

@ Dodie

I always like a challenge, but when it come to a relationship, I like the games to end really fast so I can discover that person and keep rediscovering that person over and over again, because no matter how long you know that special person you can never get to know everything about them right away, even if it took 50 years to learn that person, because we change over time, and I hope we grow as well!

The greatest thing someone in love could do is forgive...,we are all subject to temptation!

Stephen smith was great

@ Dodie

Yeah it is, the older men and women were saying everyone needs a booty call every now and then! LOL! Too Funny!

Larry:

On sex addiction:

Male:
– Maximal distribution of genetic material

Female:
– Selective incorportation of genetic material
– Identification and procurement of resources to insure the success of their offspring

EVERYTHING follows from there!

I did not stay with my cheating husband. We were together 18 yrs and he claimed he cheated with anyone and everyone since he knew me. We dated for over 5 yrs before marrying and he ended up with a stripper that he recently married. He always claimed he was taking clients to strip clubs because that's what they wanted.. Apparently, he was a the high-roller regular in a strip club throwing thousands away a week. When he got caught, he claimed at first he was a sex addict and then changed his story. I feel it is an excuse when someone claims sex addiction when they get caught cheating. He does have a lot of money and I believe when someone has money, they have power and feel they are higher than anyone else and feel the same standards do not apply to them. It's infidelity and cheaters will always be cheaters...I think cheating is embedded in some men's brains and that type of man will NEVER change ...I agree with Stephen...the Fox newcaster. What he's saying makes complete sense.

@ Matthew

Temptations alone are not bad thing they are only tests that we must all face one day, what we do while going through that test matters!

Mr. King:

Stephen Smith is absolutely lost himself. The question is a spiritual one and unless you approach it spiritually, seek it spiritually, then you will never understand the full meaning of God's plan for Man and Woman. We are all tempted in small/larger and/or more frequent ways. Chances are we make choices to put ourselves in a more tempting position.

Mr. Smith respectfully is wrong by a large margin. Much like Charles Barkley was wrong in saying that he wasn't a role model. All the questions/answers and so forth are in fact Spiritual and well documented. God allows Man free choice/will and we either experience the full glory or perhaps the full sadness of those choices. While we are all imperfecting, asking for forgiveness and trying to move away from the Sin/Addiction/or whatever you may call it is our responsibility and gift/love back to God!.

Blessings,
Trent

You are all right. !!!

Richard

Well stated and very wise.

We all change on a daily basis due to our interactions with our environment and natural maturation. If we are no longer making minor changes, then we are "stuck" and become angry and unhappy.

To quote Bill Maher:

Ladies, men don't want somebody else, they just want somebody different.

Craig Angles
London, Canada

I would not stay with a cheating spouse and I didn't in the past and neither will Sandra Bullock!!!!! It is sad that you have an idiot on your show implying that when a man cheats it is because of the woman; give me a break Larry!!!!!! This man is a dog end of story; just because he had many women does not mean he is a sex addict.

I am sorry but I have to ask why would Sandra marry a man who was married to a former Porn star? How could she bring this in her own life? I would have to ask that because this man is so beneath her. Having said that I must say she must have some self esteem issues. If I were her I would get as faraway from him as possible. Somehow I think she will have problems with him.

once a cheater always a cheater. if you take the person back woman or man, they will just find a better way of doing it.

Why is the focus on the men cheating and spending on mistresses in these divorce scenarios presented by the attorneys?
What about the wife who runs up tens of thousands of dollars of debt on irresponsible or secretive spending (on whatever or whomever)?

@ julie

What did Chris Rock say about women, they don't just want a man like your man, they want your man! LOL!

@ julie

To engage in a relationship based on the pain of someone else is a lose lose relationship. It would never work. That woman you speak of is very foolish, angry at men, and wants to flex her "muscles" in those areas. I suspect she has been mistreated by men in her life...

this is actually very unpleasant to listen tonite...

As a 31 yr old women, I believe that if we raise our daughters better than all this would go out the window. It needs to be that the men , like back in the day pursued the women, not women pursuing men. We need young ladies to understand that one shall wait for a man to chase them not going around chasing men. I believe alot of this is media and music driven. When instead we as parents and society needs to reinstate good morals in our children PERIOD!!!

A former friend with a wonderful family had a hidden mistress on the side who he also married (polygamy) and stole some 100,000 dollars from a environmental non-profit organization he worked in. When the scandal came to light, it was like a huge bomb went off, really destroyed his family, his marriages and his pocketbook!

@ angela

Sometimes these programs hit too close to home...

@ Dodie, well said, even a single man or woman dating a married person is hurting the 3rd. party. Not a healthy relationship on many levels.

Are you kidding me folks..., we live in a life that is full of temptations. Are enviroment on sex and the exploytation of sex has lead us to where we are today. So yes I could see why so many people cheat in their lifes. I do not condone it, as I was raised to belief in truth, honor and trust. But you have to admit, ANY one of us, given the right circumstances would "grab" at the excitement of sex with a stranger.

Good night Larry King, Guests, CNN Staffers and fellow bloggers. I hope Sandra Bullock get's a divorce on moves on with her film life intact.

Why is a sports reporter answering questions about sex addiction?

Senior Stephen Smith was the word. Simplest explanations are usually the correct ones. It's all there in history.

@ Dodie

I love watching how people interact with other people, many times i shake my head, and other times I laugh, we really are a mess when it come to relationships, but being that we are so young as a species, in many ways we just got out of our crib and are just about to take our first steps, i guess we will continue to stumble until way grow beyond our first steps into being a toddler one day!

@ Dodie ....I was serious but I'm glad I made someone laugh! The past 3 & 1/2 weeks I haven't been doing much laughing...2 mild strokes in 3 & 1/2 weeks withnEXCRUCIATING pain. I have the most wonderful husband this 2nd time around. The 1st enjoyed his spirits too much so, he got the boot. I've always told my present husband I realize people change. If he no longer wanted the marriage the only stipulation , leave the marriage,then start your new relationship. So far so good...we still like each other & enjoy each other's company. Most imp't. we make each other laugh!!!!!!

@ A. Smith, Oregon

There are always temptations. Hopefully we know ourselves enough to realize. Many of us make a mistake every now and then but to continue with the relationship can be a real problem.

I make no judgments on people. I realize we all are doing the best we know with our coping levels at that point in time...

@ Theresa

That is my rule in relationships, if you want out tell me and then you can go, but if you cheat, you are far below pond single celled life-form!

@ Theresa

I am so sorry to hear of your stokes. It must be terrifying to you. With medical challenges, sometimes it is very difficult to laugh. I am happy you are married to someone who maybe able to help you in that area.

Being a souse is also helping the other to laugh when conditions are just deplorable! My heart goes out to you.

Would I stay in a marriage with acknowledged infidelity....Not a chance.... marriage is difficult enough to sustain without infidelity factoring in. Life is full of temptations and challenges, but are we so selfish, that we feel it is o.k. to submit to them?

Night Dodie, Theresa, A. Smith, Oregon, Aliou Florida, and Julie, everyone else have fun blogging!

I would not stay with a cheating spouse, and I didn't. The whole reason for marriage is to be with one person for the rest of your life( that includes sleeping only with the person you married!). People who get married and cheat should not be married in the first place. People don't seem to understand exactly what they are doing to their spouses, or children when they cheat. It is life-altering, and in some cases the reason why some kill themselves and need therapy for the rest of their lives. It is not something that people should take lightly and continue. Cheaters should ask themselves: "What gives me the right to hurt my wife/husband and my children? Would I want this done to me? What will my selfish ways cost me in the long run?" It disgusts me to think that I was hurt by a selfish man who put his carnal needs before my feelings. I gave him everything I had and more, he was NEVER bored in private with me. A woman's job is NOT to keep man satisfied sexually, that is so degrading.....it should be two sided.

Richard

Good Night! Take care. It has been a long time.

Man/Woman is spirit and are subject to all of the temptations that the devil Satan can throw at them, Satan is always waiting for an opportunity to lead man/woman down the wrong path to SIN. Once Man/Woman sins the demonic spirits take control of their souls and bodies, and all hell can break loose in that persons life.......BUT GOD has made provision for Man/Woman's Salvation through thr BLOOD of JESUS CHRIST.

It is my strong opinion that Sandra Bullock should RID herself of the male JJ.. He should have been honored to have such a beautiful and talented woman like Sandra. Cheating is disrespectful and a low life form of abuse. There is nothing more embarrassing and degrading to a woman than to have her husband cheat with a no-class, ugly inside. I know, been there and done that...three xxxs. Got rid of the SOBs and glad of it... my self-esteem and confidence is much better, I am a more liberated person and DO NOT need a no-good cheater to pull me down.
Sandra drop him .......JJ is NOT worthy of your little finger nail.

single women::keep AWAY from married men...they have a wife, children, grandchildren, etc...they will not leave these devoted people who love him,,he may say he will but chances are the wife has sacrificed many yrs raising the kids..& he will not leave her...men have big egos, strong egos, they do not want their names in mud ..their reputations are at stake ...

In the final analysis, I believe that the comments by most men about this issue, is that men will fantasize about if they were married to Sandra Bullock, they would never consider cheating on her.

But how would it be if a man was married to a woman that is not home 6 out of 12 months and when she is back home there are so many pressures going on that she may not be very receptive to sexual activities.

I am not defending Jesse James, I am merely considering how many of us men would react under those conditions.

The old saying applies here.

When the cat's away the mice will play.

@ TheoSPickett,maine87

Sometimes after Rehab, it takes time for the person address all the aspects in life. Could it be you have not met the right person or just not ready?

@ Angelo Sanders from Chicago

I admire someone willing to express these feelings. Even though you have the desires of more than one woman, you are not acting on it. You are aware of your desires and issues. auto eroticism is one way to control that desire and you are already doing that. I applaud your willingness to identify and work with this issue.

@ Gerald

Good point and perspective

@ Angelo Sanders from Chicago

Visit us at recovery nation. Anyone who thinks they may have a problem or suspects their partners of having one take a look at some of the resources that we have available to those seeking recovery, healing from their partners addiction and couples seeking to heal their relationship.

@ Jane McCormick

I am a woman and I have worked with women and men who have successfully reached health. It is not only possible but likely if the person wants it bad enough and is willing to put in the time and work required.

@ Gerald Jolly

As was mentioned on the show, some men think they will explode or die without sex. Well it just isn't true. You can derive stimulation from other areas of life when your partner is away. If it is one of your values to be faithful then you will find a way to be faithful. If you have a problem being faithful but want to be then you will find help to make sure you are able to uphold that value.

Larry, get this celebrity gossip out of here.. This is CNN, not a tabloid. These people talking about "stars" as if they're best friends or family members.. Please get back to real news.

Jesse James was a lad who killed many a man
He robbed the Glendale train;
He stole from the rich and he gave to the poor
He'd a hand and a heart and a brain.
Poor Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave;
But that dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard
Has laid poor Jesse in his grave.

It was Robert Ford, that dirty little coward;
I wonder how he does feel
For he ate of Jesse's bread and he slept in Jesse's bed
Then laid poor Jesse in his grave.
Poor Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave;
But that dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard
Has laid poor Jesse in his grave.

Jesse was a man, a friend to the poor
He never would see a man suffer pain,
And with his brother Frank he robbed the Chicago bank,
And stopped the Glendale train.
Poor Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave;
But that dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard
Has laid poor Jesse in his grave.

It was his brother Frank that robbed the Gallatin bank,
And carried the money from the town;
It was in this very place that they had a little race,
For they shot Captain Sheets to the ground.
Poor Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave;
But that dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard
Has laid poor Jesse in his grave.

They went to the crossing not very far from there,
And there they did the same;
With the agent on his knees, he delivered up the keys
To the outlaws, Frank and Jesse James.
Poor Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave;
But that dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard
Has laid poor Jesse in his grave.

It was on Saturday night, Jesse was at home
Talking with his family brave,
Robert Ford came along like a thief in the night
And laid poor Jesse in his grave.
Poor Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave;
But that dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard
Has laid poor Jesse in his grave.

The people held their breath
When they heard of Jesse's death
And wondered how he ever came to die.
It was one of the gang called little Robert Ford
He shot poor Jesse on the sly.
Poor Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave;
But that dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard
Has laid poor Jesse in his grave.

This song was made by Billy Gashade,
As soon as the news did arrive;
He said there was no man with the law in his hand
Who could take Jesse James when alive.
Poor Jesse had a wife to mourn for his life,
Three children, they were brave;
But that dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard
Has laid poor Jesse in his grave.

OH...Sorry...Different Jesse James

If People would put Faith in there Marriage, Marriages just might last. I believed in the My Vows, Mine cheated but I believed he would change for the sake of our children, Because that is what my religion Stated until death do us part. The cheating never stopped,took him back 6 times, the final straw was crossing over the line with something he should of never done. An affair with my own Sister. So, no Love is not a game, nor is Religion or the Vows to be broken. I hope to live to she a day when Affairs are treated as a Crime. Playing with peoples emotion should be a crime.

Women: Stay away from men if they 1)Are married 2)Have excessive tattoos 3)Are real lazy 4) Hang out with porn stars 5) Are not nearly as intelligent as you 6) Smoke tobacco 7)Drink to excess on nightly basis 7)Are connected to militias "Christian" or otherwise 8)Are physically abusive 9) Are bad boys 10) Are "nice" guys 11) Are violent 12)Have penchant for sex partners that are underage 13)Use meth 14)Are con artists

Just tuned in and Stephen Smith is correct. Men have been like this since the beginning of time – they are just wired differently than women. The problem is, we as a society are not acceptive of that and are in fact, trying to change it in making them go against their grain. Forget about marriage for life – how many of those really exist anymore? Most of my friends are divorced! Marriage should be a seven year contract. At the end you can renew or get out. Monogomy is not a reality.

Stephen Smith is right on.
Sexual addiction is crap.

Well, One would think that a guy married to a beautful, wealthy, talented woman that is mothering his children would not go with other ladies. One would obviously be wrong. The problem is that after several years, and issues develop in the marriage, many men and women will see the other pastures as greener. Back when people lived in rural communities and in small villages where the mores were the same , and condemned adultery there was less of it. But, today with the mobility of the population, different mores, both sexes working, modern stresses of rapidly changing culture, and faster and more secret forms of communication adultery and cheating is rampant. Women do it about as much men.So, I kind of chuckle when I hear the outrage mostly coming from the women's side and calling men "dogs" and such.

I think Stephen Smith is in denial about sexual addiction. Try attending a Sex and Love addiction for 5 years like I have. Sexual addition is real, painful and complete with denial. Addicts sexualize fear, guilt, stress and loneliness. They are in denial about the consequences, this is a chronic condition that needs a lifetime of support and reality checking. As opposed to someone who cheats or has an affair.

I appreciate seeing my collegues Rob Weiss and Dr. Drew address the reality of sex addiction. As psychologist, certified addiction specialist author of Is It Love or Is It Addiction? I get many calls from anonymous people suffering–yes, suffering–from love, romance and sex addiction. These are ordinary people as well as celebs. I have worked with hundreds of recovering sex and love addicts. In addition to the psychological dependency there is also a biological dependence that is created in the brain. In process addictions a person uses something outside of self to stimulate arousal, fantasy and satiation chemicals in the brain. In time the brain/body develops cravings to keep the high going and when they try to stop biological urges occur. It is real. I invite Steven Smith to spend time with a group of recovering sex/love addicts and tell us it is not real. It is easy to make an opinion from a distance.

Larry's guest, didn't get his name; the black man; the only one with common sense and truth.
And so tired of picking apart the screwing around of others. He cheated, they cheated, she cheated...whatever, enough said. Really, who cares! WHY are we analyzing EVERYTHING? What's new? Better yet what is NEWS.

Yes, I like the variety of shows. But this particular affair is getting boring fast.There are big things happening in the world, and Larry could use his great talents to better advantage to interview controversial and stimulating people, rather than keep microscoping this particular couple's heartaches. That is why i include the Ballad of jesse james , an old folf song, that is quite lovely, to divert attention away from That Jesse James. lol

Why do women like bad guys? I'm having a hard time figuring that out. I'm a good guy, but why do good guy's always finish last? I think that some, not all women like bad guys because they don't think good men exist out there. Only if they took the time to wait on a good man to find them. I guess good guy's are a endangered species.

@Dr. Brenda Schaeffer..."Sex addiction " is just another phony manufactured "disease" that the large number of "therapists" can charge people to "treat." There are thousands of cravings and temptations. This is one most can deal with without being charged large fees . Dr. jack

@Dr. Brenda Schaeffer...About the only good purpose of calling this a disease is to provide cover for celebrities, and employing therapists who could best serve people in things like helping with anger managemnt etc.

@J. C. That is strange. Keep on being a good guy. You will be far happier in the long run. In time a mate may well appear that sees your qualities. The ones that go after the bad boys often times realize too late they have squandered their best years on guys that do not appreciate them. So , it is part of their learning experience.

Well, I seem to be alone, Goodnight all fellow bloggers...have pleasant Thursday...

Yes, I proudly stayed with my husband as he battles sex addiction. Yes, some men are just cheaters, but sex addiction is absolutely real, people. You may not want to hear it or believe it, but it doesn't change the fact that it is real anymore than wishing alcoholism isn't real and saying people just need to learn when to stop drinking and be responsible. Do you really think my husband is proud to be an addict? Or that he goes about his day, high fiving himself after indulging in his addiction? He comes home and confesses every time, and it is not fun for either of us. I would never know if he didn't tell me, but he does. If he really just wanted to go off and have sex with other people, he wouldn't stay with me, or go to therapy, or enforce boundaries on himself. I applaud the men on LKL who are speaking up for the men and women who suffer from this real and painful addiction, especially Dr. Drew. Maybe Tiger or Jesse go to rehab to save careers and find sympathy for their public images, but my husband isn't famous. Very few people know of his problems and they do not end with the addiction. My husband suffered a combination of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse throughout his entire childhood and teenage years. He drifted in and out of his home, foster homes, boys homes, and eventually went out on his own at 17. The life he suffered through was not his choice. He did not aspire to be a sex addict as an adult and he works extremely hard every single day to overcome this addiction that plagues his life. Until you live with, experience, and/or watch how this type of addiction affects another human, you may never understand the devastation, guilt, shame, hopelessness, frustration, and sadness that accompanies this problem. When I met my husband, he was was honest with me from the beginning. He has been threatened, nearly lost jobs, friends, family, jeopardized his future and these are not choices a person makes voluntarily without some sort of intense problems going on. I am a well educated young woman, and I did not go into this blindly, as some of the more recent famous examples may have. And I cannot speak for Tiger Woods or Jesse James as to whether or not they actually suffer from addictions. But that doesn't mean the addictions aren't real. My husband is a really wonderful person and I am lucky to have found him. His sexual addiction is a part of him, but it doesn't define him. He works hard to work through all his issues from his past and it is a long, arduous, daunting task, but he knows it is absolutely necessary for his recovery. Sex addiction is not a made up excuse for bad behavior, as some may suggest. Addictions manifest themselves in many different forms. Just ask a smoker, an alcoholic, a drug addict, a food addict, etc. Why are we so quick to accept these diseases as real and not the explicit fault of the person suffering, but automatically judge men (or women) who suffer from a sex addiction as dogs or sluts. I am well aware that there are people who have a lot of sex who are not addicts, just as there are people who drink or smoke who are not addicted, but that doesn't mean the potential for addiction isn't there, for cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, or sex. I fully support my husband and his ongoing battle with his addiction. I love him tremendously and I respect him more than anyone I've ever known for having the courage to face this unyielding addiction with the absolute determination to persevere. For all the naysayers out there, consider yourselves lucky to not know of someone who suffers from such an addiction. Or maybe they would be the lucky ones for not telling you and risk being so brutally judged. Or maybe you do know a sex addict, you just don't know it yet. To all the addicts out there and all the people like Dr. Drew Pinksy who work hard every single day to gain control of these addictions, God Bless You!!!

The best definitiln of addition I have heard is" recursive, self destructive mood altering behaviour . Cream pie, alcohol, cocaine, gambling and sex all fit that description.

If it controls you, it is an addictions, despite the DSM 4. Let the pros call it an impulse disorder, 12 steps work for all these conditions.

Cheers

sex addiction is an out for the rich and famous. Mr. Smith was right on in his comments. They are trying to save their carreer and that is what they should do. I would be refreshed as would the rest of the public if one of these guys just said I screwed up, I was an ass and I regret it. Please give me some time to repair what I caused. Thats what a MAN would do.

Sandra-you are going through probably the most difficult and painful
time you will have ever experience.Take it minute by minute taking deep breaths along the way so that you can lift the weight off your shoulders. You have a strong support sytem from your fans, friends and family. They will be there to help you. Take time out for yourself
because not only do you need it but you have earned it. Avoid all that is written in gossip columns and TV news.

Sandra, i feel for you and i know what you are going through this moment. I also went through thesame thing when my husband, with whom I´m married to for 11yrs now cheated on me.
I would like to tell you this Sandra!
These Women sleeping with other Women Men are Pigs! They are just out to distroy a happy home.
Your Husband is not sex addicted,believe me these women do everything possible to make him want to do something.
My advice to you is to forgive your Husband, give him a second chance dont let them distroy you happiness.I will also advice you, try to have your own Child with him, been a Mother to his Daughter is womderful but yours will make the family to complet,if you truely loves him.Try, try, try.Anyway IVF...eg

Sexual addiction is right up there with little green men from mars!

Personally i think sex addition is a real disease – for a person to leave their partner over this is very shallow. when one takes marriage vows one says "through sickness and in health ..." – I don't see this as a reason to break up a marriage. all these people need our support.

Fox Sport presenter Stephen Smith, comments on the show has all the hallmark of a person likely to face marital problems, i will not be surprise to see him in rehab, we'll see
ps
singapore

@JC ....too often women want a challenge....the more sedate,quiet seemsto be no fun..(which isn't true) Some women think jealousy,possessiveness (at first) think their partners show how much they care with these characteristics(until it's too late) I'm female & for the likes of me I have no idea why. My daughter was engaged to a young man she dated for 6 & 1/2 yr. She discovered he had an affair ...within 3 wk. the relationship ended. In a few months they started their relationship again. My advice to her he did it once to you...don't be shocked if he does it again. Also, I wish you think with you head instead of your heart ...she never put the engagement ring on again. Eventually it ended again...this time for him being a workaholic. He had absolutely no time for her. Presently, she is engaged to a fine man who I think this time it will work...he has made my daughter his priority....they communicate well, like each other (yes they also love each other...liking someone is even MORE imp't. to me)& make each other laugh! She told me this time 1st she thought with her head ,then her heart. She envisioned what she would want in a husband 20 yr. from now....& that's why she chose her fiance. So,JC there is hope......good things come to those that wait...Too many women know what their partnaers are like...they either think they can change the flaw(he loves me ...he'll change..no he won't....or else too many times there's DENIAL! For a few they really had no ideaor clue....to those it must truly be devastating!!!

@Dodie March 31st, 2010 9:09 pm ET

With the name Jessie James... one must ask ... what is up with that name? To carry a name of an infamous killer and gangster? That should have been the first sign!
_____________________

Lol........and to think we used to sing this song at school too, I think.......back in the days. My namesake.

If you love someone you forgive them......I've repeated it over and over.....All these bitter women who probably loved someone that didn't love them back...They knew it, felt used and abused and didn't find it necessary to stay in that relationship...Thats your story...Not everybody elses! Some families work through these problems grow old and die together..........Stop putting everybody in your shoes! LOL! And so what if he wants to call himself "Jesse James"!! LOL! I know someone that calls himself "Tony Montana"! LOL! Bid damn deal!!!!! People please...get a life of your own to worry about........Jeeeeez!!!

I like to drive fast – am I a speeding addict?

are bullies – bully addicts?

I know someone who swears alot – are they swearing addicts?

GIVE ME A BREAK – I like Dr Drew but talk about MARKETING $$$$$

Whatever label you choose to use doesn't really matter. Sexual behavior that is secretive, compulsive, and destructive does exist on many levels – unique to each individual and his/her particular family history, emotional immaturity, and a myriad of other life circumstances and life stresses. It is a real problem that continues to escalate in this culture due to the availability of internet pornography as well as the blatent use of sex in advertising and entertainment. It's not limited to this, however. Each sexual behavior pattern/ritual is unque to the individual's fetishes, history, lack of values, personality and over-all selfworth or lack of selfworth. The SA partners are usually blindsided and have to deal with the aftermath – picking up the pieces of their lives, re-buildng their self esteem, and healing themselves. It is a nightmare for everyone involved.

Recovery Nation is free. It's on line. There are coaches to assist. There are community forums for on-going support and validation. It offers an amazing series of lessons for both the recovery process of the perpetrator and the healing process of the victim/partner. It is hard work and, like most successful treatment centers, utilizes volunteers "who have been there and done that" to work with both parties. There are no guarantees that people will recover, heal, or relationships will be saved. However, this program gives people a chance to create a better life for themselves, become healthy, develop values, foster an awareness of behaviors and create actual plans to assist in making choices, and honor personal boundaries. We need this program and more like it because the problem of destructive sexual behavior is real – no matter what label you choose to give it.

Recovery Nation Partner since April 2009

@Smith
I can tell which planet you are from and it ain't Hollywood. Except for eunuchs and virgins, FYI, everybody is hooked on porn.

It is just that some people watch other people's on video or in magazines. Unlike cheating spouses, some people create their own porn with "Their" partner.

So tell me, why should I sit around watching others or lookign at others? I wold only if mine is not "filling" enough....*smile*

some cheaters lose their lives quite suddenly..then the spouses find out..extremely devastating ...

Ckelly from Canada!

Nice to see you back on LKL. I thought you had enough of Americans? I guess not!

Welcome back! Under a new name I see. only "kelly"? and still upset with A. Smith, I see!

You are a clinician. When will you let that go? Its been over 6 months.

I suspect that rather than putting a label of addiction to it (psychiatric model), or calling it sin (religious model) we should just call it a natural phenomenon. Apply the same process to the spectrum of sexual interest that we do to all other human activities. It is a spectrum , ranging from people with a astonsihing libido all the way down to people who have little or no interest in sex. This attribution of a natural higher level of various activities as being "addictive" only serves to enrich clever social scientists, who make big bucks from that system. Sure , it is obvious that people can overdue certain things to their own detriment, but this is not addiction, it is simply people operating within the parameters of natural human activity. It has ever been thus, and to set up a quantitative system that assigns negative labels to what some people may deem abnormal, simply opens the door to dehumanization and a potential police state. Don't allow them to label you. Keep your dignity as a human being.

@Recovery Nation Partner........Recovering " from sexual "addiction." I just can't buy it. When you get older, it will naturally cool your jets. Enjoy it while you can.

@ Ckelly AKA kelly

I see you are in the lecture mode spewing out your information as usual....
--------

You statedL
It is called AXIS ll: Personality disorder: ie Character disorder. EXTREME PERSONALITIES: LIKELY WILL INCLUDE CRIMINALITY.

ie psychopathy: Narcissism; Borderline,and Antisocial personality disorders. These disorders in the courts are attributed to the poor-but oddly, if you are rich....ultimately WHO CARES?
---------

So, what is the point?

@Jack

We have people that range in age from 18 all the way up to 72 (our oldest participant) in Recovery and Healing. Like Partner said, you can label it addiction, compulsion, bad habit whatever. But if it is interfering with your job, your relationship, your time, your social life and tons of other areas that can be affected, then it is something that needs to be addressed and if you can't just stop when you want then it's a problem that you need to get help for.

Part of what we do is educate people. We are not into labels and we don't suggest that others engage in labeling people. What we are into is letting people know that there are healthy choices for those that want to change. And that it is possible to fully rid yourself of any behaviors that are detrimental. It's not about managing the symptoms but rather learning how to manage your emotions, life and stress with healthy alternatives to compulsive behavior.

Objectification of anyone – man, woman, child is – hmmm not the kind of relationship I would want for myself or my kids. To create your own porn with your own partner is what a lot of people do plus create it with people outside the marriage, at the same time. It's all up to your own personal set of values along with your emotional maturity in handling whatever lfe brings your way. What do want, expect, or need out of a relationship? What can you accept? What can you live with. What kind of soft pillow do you want to fall on? Guess that's the question.

Recovery Nation Partner