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October 5, 2010

LKL Web Exclusive: Chef Cat Cora on bullying

Posted: 02:06 PM ET

This is a LKL Web Exclusive by Chef Cat Cora, President and Founder of "Chefs for Humanity" (www.chefsforhumanity.org):

I was born in the 60's in Mississippi. I was also born gay. Yes, that's right BORN gay. Believe me, I tried to pray "it" away at church every Sunday like a good Christian girl from the South. I tried to date "it" away, dating good guys who didn't understand why I wouldn't, no couldn't, be with them completely. I wanted so badly to be straight like my friends. But I couldn't change it anymore than I could change having brown eyes. And I knew I would never fit into what kids thought was normal.

When I finally met my first love, I was 17. I fell in love and didn't have one friend who I could tell. There was no giggles and gossip and no gushing about how beautiful, smart and wonderful she was. There were definitely no "meet the parents" dinners. I endured the love and loneliness alone. The passion was liberating but the breakup was almost unbearable.

So when a young person who is gay takes their life, my heart breaks to pieces. But, I also know their pain. I understand how fragile life is being young and gay. Being a "freak" as some people would like to call us is hell on earth. Straight kids have no idea how much it sucks. One trauma can break you and change life as you know it, and you are gone forever.

This is what happened to Asher, Jaheem and Tyler. There is evidence that Asher and Tyler were gay and Jaheem was called gay, a word he was confused by. Who cares? They were human, someone's child, someone's grandchild, nephew, brother, friend. I want to weep as I write this for our lost children. I want to scream for the 12 year old who shoots himself, an 11 year who hangs himself with a belt and an 18 year who jumps off a bridge. Why don't our kids feel safe? Why? America, parents, teachers, friends and role models, we have to do better for the children of the world.

No one knew I was gay growing up but I was bullied. I was a cheerleader, fairly popular and considered straight. An older girl who unknowingly hated me and had a locker right next to me, tortured me mercilessly every single day. She threatened to beat my ass, have her friends beat the hell out of me and yes, the word "kill" came up. My first thought is Phoebe Prince, she was not gay, but vilified for being new at the school and pretty.

Gay kids are not the only ones being bullied but the word "gay" is killing our kids. Bullying is killing our kids. Being different is killing our kids and the kids who are bullying are dying inside. We have to save our kids whether they are they are bullied or they are bullying. They are all in pain.

I want to talk to the bullied kids of the world. Tell them to hang on, it will get better. Know that an Iron Chef, actors, musicians, artists and all successful people have probably been bullied in their life. And the best part of your life is yet to come. Whatever it takes to live, do it!

Filed under: Cat Cora • Larry King Live • LKL Web Exclusive


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marge mcknight   October 5th, 2010 2:36 pm ET

Chef Cat Cora actually spoke for all homosexuals. And, her words are what I would have said, had I been asked my opinion. Having someone very close and dear to me who is gay, I know first hand from his experiences, everything she said is true. When people are born, they don't get to choose who they are, or how they will develop in the world. They do the best they can, with the life they've been given.
How sad and how ignorant are our fellow humans, that they don't understand this concept. It very easily could have been them who were born to have feelings for someone of their own sex, and it they were more accepting, it wouldn't be the "disgrace" that they think it is. Homosexuals do turn out to be loving, productive, happy people in spite of the rest of the heterosexual world.


sandra   October 5th, 2010 3:38 pm ET

EXCELLENT !!!


Mary Morgart   October 5th, 2010 3:43 pm ET

I admire your courage, your honesty and for speaking out for the ones that are no longer here and were tortured by their lifestyle they could not help. Thanks for your compassion. They are people too.


silk   October 5th, 2010 4:14 pm ET

Cat, Thank you for the wonderful article and I hope more young people can read your blog and got inspired. Knowing that people do care about them, disregarding if they are gay or not. We are all human beings, after all.


Joe G. (Illinois)   October 5th, 2010 6:53 pm ET

I have worked with some roughnecks out and far away from home.

Trust me.. There is nothing to feel sorry about gay people. And the idea that they are just poor, quiet, gentle people who just want to mind their own business and not bother others is also false and misleading.

Talk about wrong stigma!!


Tracey   October 5th, 2010 7:30 pm ET

Well said. I agree whole-heartedly.


HallelujahHollaback   October 5th, 2010 7:37 pm ET

this is why the word "ghey" was created, so that the homesexuality aspect of the word "gay" would be removed


JennJ   October 5th, 2010 7:38 pm ET

Awesome note Cat. THANK you for speaking out against bullying.


Nicole   October 5th, 2010 7:39 pm ET

This is a piece of writing that really gets you. Thank you for your compassion and showing how much this topic means. This brought me to tears.


John Schaffer   October 5th, 2010 7:44 pm ET

Cora has a sweet heart toward people who are hurting and for this I commend her. Bullying can be deadly and parents and schools need to deal with it. And we shouldn't name call, most definitely. But, this push toward being gay in society, has killed millions more worldwide with Aids than bullying has, as far as I know, so both are problematic and need to be discussed as hurtful behavior, in need of counsel, love and self control.


Carol Ann   October 5th, 2010 7:44 pm ET

Amen sister!!


Steve T   October 5th, 2010 7:45 pm ET

I am a 55 year old straight male, and I can guarantee you that no one "chooses" to be gay. Over my lifetime I have known many gays and lesbians – some I liked, some I could do without, but it never had anything to do with their sexuality. To see that these young kids are being bullied into suicide for sport makes me wonder how free is free in this country. Exactly why does anyone care what sexual persuasion another American is? How about paying attention to the important things like honesty, compassion, character and integrity?


Ryan   October 5th, 2010 7:46 pm ET

Thank you, for reminding us that being gay IS NOT something to be ashamed of. While my mother believes it is a lifestyle choice, my father understands and supports my belief that you are born this way. It took 10 years of struggling and hiding my true identity until I was brave enough to face the world as my true self...gay and PROUD!

Until we realize that it is not something we can change, we are only going to persecute other who are different. We can only hope that this generation teaches the next the tolerance and acceptance that each other deserves. If we don't, it will only get worse.


Larry Peck   October 5th, 2010 7:46 pm ET

Born gay? How ridiculous.


Marla   October 5th, 2010 7:46 pm ET

What a wonderful, inspiring article!
You go, girl! You have my vote as Iron Chef of the year!


Daniel Printz   October 5th, 2010 7:47 pm ET

Ms. Cora, your plea is so universal, and so well stated that it literally has taken my breath away. Thank you for your passion and your honest good-will.


Joshua Jones   October 5th, 2010 7:49 pm ET

Awesome. What a great article. Thank you.


JustSoYaKnow   October 5th, 2010 7:52 pm ET

Thank you, Ma'am. Things have gotten so much better compared to what they were for folks the past generations. I hope people take this to heart. One of the reasons I can't wait for Don't Ask, Don't Tell to be taken is so I can stand up properly- without the drama- flick my Sergeant chevrons and add 'warriors' to that list of successful people.


JustSoYaKnow   October 5th, 2010 7:54 pm ET

(That wasn't a plug for debate, by the way. Just meaning endless paths of success. Adversity is an opportunity to excel.)


amom   October 5th, 2010 7:59 pm ET

As a mom of two sons, one who turned out to be gay, I knew from the time he was a toddler that he was not like his older brother. He gravitated towards pink and yellow crayons, and drew rainbows and flowers on his pictures. The ridicule had started for him, even then. He is now in high school and at 9th grade, started doing virtual school at home to keep him away from constant threats and abuses at his local school. The schools do NOTHING to protect their students, and until that changes – parents, if you know your kids are being tormented then get them out of there. There's no excuse to subject a school age child to that nonsense in this day and age. And for the parents who know their kids are the ones making life a living hell for other kids, shame on you.


nick   October 5th, 2010 8:01 pm ET

she fell in love at 17, wonderful.... she couldn't giggle, gossip or gush.... tragic.... she couldn't "date" it away, oh the horrors!... now if she'd only realize you are NOT born gay.... sorry there Cora.... maybe you should stick to cooking because THAT'S what you were born as.


Ben   October 5th, 2010 8:05 pm ET

This just in, now that Homosexual children are being picked on...bullying is bad!

All the other kids...that fat ones, redheads, poor, etc...it was ok to pick on them...but not the homosexual ones.


Audrey Nickel   October 5th, 2010 8:05 pm ET

Very, very well-said. It's time we realize, as a society, that bullying is NEVER OK. No one deserves to be taunted and tortured simply because he/she is gay/straight/small/big/smart/slow/whatever else someone considers "different."


Dylan Roussel   October 5th, 2010 8:05 pm ET

Aside from that part it's a legit good article. The focus should be on bullyh
ing itself, complaining about words like gay and etc is really dated.


Lauren   October 5th, 2010 8:08 pm ET

Thank you Cat!


DB   October 5th, 2010 8:09 pm ET

As a straight male, I learned the "gay" jokes and jibes. One girl in high school was the only one I knew at that time, to actually be gay. That was in the 60s. We knew about it, kidded about it, but in our school, no one really cared. When it became an issue, I was fortunate enough to meet a guy who became a good friend, and who later confided in me that he was gay. He, too fought it, but knew all along what his true leanings were: It was not a choice. I learned a lot from him. In the past year, my wife and I have attended one male-male wedding, and two lesbian marriage ceremonies. And I have taught our children, and now grandchildren to respect everyone for their beliefs, their ethnic backgrounds, their religion...

It is too bad that the Internet itself, which should be so enlightening, seems to actually be the epicenter of hate.


Espteacher   October 5th, 2010 8:10 pm ET

Way to go Cat, what a great piece of writing. I wish so many people would read this and realize how truthful and meaningful it is.


Norman maceachern   October 5th, 2010 8:11 pm ET

many parents are creating bullies. i know that as a retired teacher


Jennifer R. Damen   October 5th, 2010 8:11 pm ET

I love what you wrote. Unfortunately because of the bulling it`s hard for someone such as myself to fully come out as being gay. I`m 33 years old and I still feel like I have to live two lives. I find myself sacrificing happiness for fear of what others will think of me. It`s people like Cat who are my heros. Hearing their story and knowing that at some point they have felt the same way as I do gives me hope that one day I will be able to be open about who I truly am and no longer sacrifice my own happiness. My heart goes out to the families of those kids. Life should never be that hard. Thank You Cat for sharing your story.


Carol   October 5th, 2010 8:12 pm ET

Great blog Chef Cora. It should be so simple to listen to our Medical Community explain homosexuality, and go from there if you really want to know how things go. But, we have the ignorant that don't want to be informed, the extreme Churches and their leaders that expound on the sin that nobody can find our Lord even mentioning as their reason for their season of bullying all over the U.S.A.. It starts with the adults and is passed on to their childrren to keep the bullying going. If our country would make all GLBT equal with heterosexuality it would calm down, and eventually the bullies would give up. As far as being pretty, jealousy is right up there with hate and disrespect for the gay. Another bully thing is a new kid coming into their school and having the nerve to be in their presence.


Bill   October 5th, 2010 8:14 pm ET

Hi Cat,

I'm sorry I do not know who you are (cooking shows are not my thing), but your article was great. It's wonderful you shared your story and tried to inspire kids to hang in there. Rock on! Most of us have been taught the golden rule ... I don't understand why it's so hard to live by it!

Bill


mary   October 5th, 2010 8:17 pm ET

An Iron Chef...a soft heart...a wise soul -thank you, Cat Cora! When will we see that we are ALL responsible for the welfare of ALL children? As Hemingway said, "...do not ask for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee." Any pain or loss is a pain or loss for us all. We have to stop turning a blind eye and start showing a loving hand.


nowaybro   October 5th, 2010 8:20 pm ET

Cheers to you Cat, continue to lead way!


Donna Baslee   October 5th, 2010 8:20 pm ET

That's a great letter Cat. I was born straight-didn't choose to be that way, just didn't have to choose who I found attractive. For me, living the life of a straight white girl who hasn't experienced being bullied has been easy. Yet when I hear about these kids who are bullied-for whatever senseless or stupid reason- my heart breaks into a thousand pieces. It breaks for my 4 year old sons, who might one day grow up to be gay and bullied because of it. It breaks for my 4 year old sons who are latin and will likely experience bullying from classmates, cops and ignorant white trash who assume they are "illegal aliens". My heart breaks for the kids who've taken their own lives and for their families who must live on without them. And my heart breaks for the bullies who must be live with their actions for the rest of their lives. My heart breaks for all of us for how far we've come and yet how far we still have to go.


sadyperturbed   October 5th, 2010 8:21 pm ET

It DOES get better. That is for sure. Bless you Cat Cora for your words of encouragement. Life is worth living!


dwb1967   October 5th, 2010 8:24 pm ET

Go, Chef Cora! If you save only one life, you done well!


Greg & Matt & Kids   October 5th, 2010 8:30 pm ET

As Gay parents, born in the 60s in Louisiana and Arkansas we just wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU CAT. While two of our kids are heterosexual, we took in a Gay teen that had been shunned by his own family. Like you we endured endless bullying and depending on how you look at it, fortunately or unfortunately it has given us some foresight into helping our own kids deal with it. Adults in the Gay community need to come together and we need to focus on an asset that we have neglected for far too long...our youth. Our house is open and will remain open to any Gay kid needing a safe place to call home. All our homes should be.


Modern Family   October 5th, 2010 8:33 pm ET

As Gay parents, born in the 60s in Louisiana and Arkansas we just wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU CAT. While two of our kids are heterosexual, we took in a Gay teen that had been shunned by his own family. Like you we endured endless bullying and depending on how you look at it, fortunately or unfortunately it has given us some foresight into helping our own kids deal with it. Adults in the Gay community need to come together and we need to focus on an asset that we have neglected for far too long...our youth. Our house is open and will remain open to any Gay kid needing a safe place to call home. All our homes should be.


chicagogam   October 5th, 2010 8:34 pm ET

i agree. i worry that the fear and hate politics is eroding the good values..real values about treating people well, not fake 'values' about knowing who our enemies are or who god doesn't like. as we lose those, we begin to drift towards being monsters, and the most vulnerable, emotionally will be the first to feel it. it is so sad.... suicides make me think if only i could go back in time and stop them..but since that seems to be utterly impossible..the only thing i can think of is to stop the future ones..and since i don't know who they might be, i guess i'd just have to try to let those i know i would care and maybe they might talk to me. it's a lot of if's and maybe's but it's the best i can think of.. and surely if everyone did it, things would be better all around and perhaps a few suicides prevented..even if we didn't know about them because they never happened.


jj   October 5th, 2010 8:34 pm ET

No one is born gay. The AMA says there is no gay birth. It is sad that people are taunted, but a girl in missouri took her life because someone posed as a boy that liked her. we need to teach kids how to handle bullies not how to agree that the gay lifestyle is ok. If people don't approve of that lifestyle they are still entitled to their opinion.


Bob Wolf   October 5th, 2010 8:36 pm ET

Thank You Cat...you said it very well.


Cynthia A Verdell   October 5th, 2010 8:37 pm ET

CCC,
I was in tears when I read your comments. How true it is that people are so cruel. Children live what they learn. I grew up in the south during the 60's and 70's. My sister was bullied alot and at 15 she took her life. That was hard because being black and over weight did get any air play on the media. She was what they consider autism now, but it was all lumped together as retardation. We constantly had to fight, couldn't ride the school bus and definately couldn't go on the playground. She didn't understand what she did wrong. Why did everyone hate her. Personally I think that is what killed Micheal, 50 years of bullying and there is no end in sight, thanks for your words.


j.l.reed   October 5th, 2010 8:42 pm ET

High time we find solutions for bullying and prediuce againrst gays. 3.


ykd108   October 5th, 2010 8:46 pm ET

Ms Cat Cora,

Although many of us would leave you alone in your homosexual relationships; but please equally help us to keep the homosexual agenda away from our schools, away from our children.


amanda   October 5th, 2010 8:46 pm ET

Beautifully written Ms Cora. Too often children are bullied, and those who are bullied carry that with them for a long time. Its a shame that some of the energy that people pour into hating others for their views on religion, politics etc, couldnt be used in a more positive manner. Is it this kind of hatred children see being displayed by their parents, that is causing this increase in bullying? I dont know but I pray it ends soon.


Eric   October 5th, 2010 8:48 pm ET

When I think of suicide I think of two words: Natural Selection!

Weak people with weak minds kill themselves and we are better as a society without them!


David Green   October 5th, 2010 8:52 pm ET

Wow, this article is pretty gay!

LOL! Gay people lately seem to have NO LIFE in mass numbers. Huge crowds of gay people marching and protesting almost POINTLESS things, like GAY MARRIAGE, or GAY PEOPLE IN THE ARMY.

Lady Gaga especially puts a huge word in for gays (for obvious marketing reasons most gay sheepish people do not realize) and they all "come together" to fight for something that nobody really gives 2 cents about but themselves.

I do not hate gay people, I love a lot of gay comedians... but gay people ARE NOT NORMAL. If gay became "normal" then we as humans would cease to procreate. Get real gay people, I agree with most of you but quit lying to yourself and calling gay people normal when clearly and most definitely they are a disgrace to mankind and its existence (fact, not a lie, THINK ABOUT IT)

And don't say.. OH there's too many people in the world anyways. Says who? Have you guys not heard of land? There's millions of unoccupied acres of land on earth (and water) so humans are not overpopulating earth!

Gay people, please shut up and quit trying to force gay things onto TV and "normal peoples" lives... its almost becoming sickening to a straight dude like myself. Like I mean, how hard you gay people try to be normal, its pathetic!!!


missy   October 5th, 2010 8:58 pm ET

You said this so well. I wish hate and meanness would just disappear, bit it will only happen if we MAKE it happen. Thank you.
(We were both born in 60's Mississippi. )


dwighthuth   October 5th, 2010 8:58 pm ET

Yep they need protected from those who are insecure about theirself than the sexually challenged are.


David Green   October 5th, 2010 8:58 pm ET

And I agree with Eric... most gay people are weak minded and do not fully realize it. I love to think about why people do the things they do... and I put lots of time into gays and the way they think (because they like to argue about it lately)

You are not BORN gay... there's something you saw someone do in your early life, and your subconscious picks it up as something you like or that is deemed "right".

You can change it, so don't lie and say you are born with it. I am not saying gay people should change... just a lot of gay people are just weak straight people who are only gay because its easier to have sex with the opposite sex (like 100 times easier, esp for a guy)


JCL   October 5th, 2010 8:58 pm ET

No one is born gay anymore than someone is born a thief.


Chandler02   October 5th, 2010 9:00 pm ET

ykd, it is comments like yours that make bullies think that it is ok. There is no "gay agenda", there are just gay people. You need to get over that, and stop being afraid of something that is harmless.


jo   October 5th, 2010 9:00 pm ET

the saddest thing is that many straight kids _do_ know how much it sucks, because there is something in almost every kid's life that is that painful, that isolating, something that makes him or her feel terminally unique. something that he or she is absolutely positive that nobody else has experienced or will understand. and yet, they cannot take that experience, that feeling, and use it to develop empathy and understanding of the pain and isolation of other kids with other situations. i attempted suicide when i was about 14, over a ridiculous incident which, in my mind, was a symptom of the larger issue that my parents did not understand me and never would. i survived physically. and my parents came to the hospital after my stomach was pumped and said, "now, we will never talk about this again." and we never did. that's how it was handled in those days, in the small town where i grew up. you can make a difference. really see the kids around you. really listen to them. ask them questions they don't want to answer. even if they don't want to talk to you, the fact that someone asked, listened, even for a moment, may make an impression. may make a difference.


Melissa   October 5th, 2010 9:05 pm ET

Well said, Cat! Thank you for your wise words! xx


Mac   October 5th, 2010 9:06 pm ET

Very true Cat Cora. Too bad there are still ignorant people out there and at least several in these comments. And yes JJ gay people are born gay. I'm gay and I've been this way all my life. I was raised in a religious home and went to church every Sunday. But as long as I can remember, I've been attracted to the same sex. But then again you'll never know if one is born gay or not. Just because some religious scientist tells you that you can't be born gay, well how would they know? And David Green, what is normal? Who is say you're normal and I'm not? I like to think that I'm God's answer to overpopulation.


Dr. Flavor   October 5th, 2010 9:06 pm ET

Sorry Cat (and others), but you were not born gay. You may have been born with a stronger desire towards someone of your same sex, and you may have been born with strong traits that reflected the character of the opposite sex than your own. That does not equal being born gay.

I know, the gay community would love us all to believe it to be true, because then they could not be denied rights that others have due to ethnicity. It just isn't so though, and science can't seem to prove their case (I wonder why?!?!). Some people are born with characteristics that are part of their persona. Some guys grow up as bullies, and later carry that super macho attitude into adulthood. I guess they can't help from beating people up because they were 'born that way', right?


Shane   October 5th, 2010 9:06 pm ET

Kat is the epitome of excellence. It has nothing to do with her sexual bearing, and everything to do with excelling as a human. And being human is what we all share in common, first and foremost. Why people can't hang on to that single truth is unfathomable. Yet it is the clearest picture in my mind as our most common ground. Respect that, and you respect the value of human life.


mike   October 5th, 2010 9:07 pm ET

All kids get bullied. the people at fault in these situations are the parents. parents of the bully child for being ignorant and backwards and passing that ignorance on to their kids and the parents of the bullied child for not having a family environment where kids can be themselves, share that and get help when needed. getting bullied comes with being that age, it is the family, environment and understand that surrounds the kids that shapes what they do with it.


NativeCA   October 5th, 2010 9:09 pm ET

You ROCK Cat and thank you for your kind and insightful words!


Mr, Bill   October 5th, 2010 9:10 pm ET

I was tormented in elementary school because I was small and couldn't fight the bully. Sex is just one reason kids are bullied.
Where do they learn this?
One example is a current hit TV show, Monday Night RAW, where the professional wrestlers team up in a group and "take over" the show, doing whatever they want and ganging up on individuals. This is a story line used over the years.
It says to kids that groups can get whatever they want by sticking together, and this is an example of what breds gangs and encourages bullys.


marcus   October 5th, 2010 9:14 pm ET

Yeah were born gay.

We are as normal as the wind and trees and all the rest on this earth.

We've always been here.

There are same sex couples in the animal kingdom.

Going back in time, it was accepted. Embraced.

So throw your hatred around, just remember, it closes you off.

It is impossible to experience happiness while hating.

So show respect and live with an open heart, enjoy life.
:)

thanks


Sam   October 5th, 2010 9:14 pm ET

Eric: With words spewed about suicide, please get professional help ASAP. Those words were absolutely uncalled for and it's people like you who keep this country so divisive. Some things are just better not being said and what you said is just downright MEAN! Apparently you have never had anyone close to you who has committed suicide. If you ever have to go through a friend or relative who has taken their own life for whatever reason, I would want you to know that I would pray you through the horrible times that will would/will encounter.

For Christ's sake, rethink what you have said.


Kari   October 5th, 2010 9:15 pm ET

How can anyone say you aren't born gay? Weren't you born heterosexual? I'm positive I never "chose" to be straight, anymore than anyone else "chose" to be gay.

The ignorance in these comments is alarming. Gay people are normal.


Chip   October 5th, 2010 9:16 pm ET

To all of you who do not believe a person is born gay.

What person is there right mind would want to be picked on, bullied, or even taunted every single day of their lives.

You people really NEED to get a life!!

I am and was born gay!!


JES   October 5th, 2010 9:17 pm ET

jj – being gay, having been born that way, I don't need or care about your approval. But aside from that . . . in the church I was raised and closeted in, while acting on homosexuality is a sin, acting on your disapproval is also wrong . . . and as far as I'm concerned that's a good rule. Oh . . . by the way . . . that was the Roman Catholic Church . . . .


???   October 5th, 2010 9:17 pm ET

It's not ridiculous, it's true, people are born gay.


Patti in Dallas   October 5th, 2010 9:19 pm ET

Great article, Cat! Thank you for stepping up in this way, voicing your thoughts on a subject that is killing young people almost daily. Thank you! I hope your 4 boys someday know how great their moms are :)

***
Nick Green wrote: "a lot of gay people are just weak straight people who are only gay because its easier to have sex with the opposite sex (like 100 times easier, esp for a guy)."

Wow, I'm not even sure what you wrote makes any sense, Nick. If gay people are so weak and the easy thing to do is "have sex with the opposite sex", wouldn't allegedly weak people go for the easiest thing? You're unnaturally obsessed with gay people AND you don't make any sense.


David Has Issues   October 5th, 2010 9:19 pm ET

Wow, some of the ignorant and uneducated comments on here make me shudder. Why do people think that just because they make a statement ("you're NOT born gay"), that it makes it true? Actually, studies have shown just the opposite (differences in brains, twin genetics studies). But I suppose no amount of education or insight would help those people ... all they can see is their own blindness. And while it's true that homosexuals don't procreate as a general rule, neither do all heterosexuals. Do those people go around telling THOSE people that they're NOT NORMAL? Doubt it. Homophobia all the way, and it's generally from males who have hidden tendencies (plenty of studies to support that theory also).


mary   October 5th, 2010 9:19 pm ET

oh, the ignorance! Good luck to you, sir.


JES   October 5th, 2010 9:22 pm ET

Thank you for your editorial Ms. Cora! Other "minorities" can protect their children from hateful words and deeds – we can't unless the kids can find their way to an outreach center. The only thing we can do is stop the hate – get straight parents talking at home about right and wrong. People of prominence like yourself are just what we need . . . inspiring one straight person at a time to stand against the cruelty!


Andy   October 5th, 2010 9:23 pm ET

Very well said, Cat. What I hate is nowadays the word "gay" is used to describe something bad, silly, ridiculous, etc. Everyday I hear some teen or collegiate saying that some bad movie was "so gay", or that their teacher was "gay" for giving them homework on a weekend. Even my best friend, who knows my orientation, uses it in front of me, despite my evil laser beam looks and chastisement, and his response is "well, it doesn't mean that!" I wish people would realize that young people take such things to heart. They have all sorts of peer pressure at that age and surely during that most vulnerable time, those words can be the difference between life and death.


Ken   October 5th, 2010 9:23 pm ET

A minority few posts here show how close minded and hateful they are towards others who are different then themselves. Some day, I hope these people will have an "aha" moment, and they'll realize how close minded they were, and they do not have all the "right" answers....


Jim N.   October 5th, 2010 9:23 pm ET

Thank you, Cat. Your thoughtful story reminds us that we are part of a civil rights movement, not unlike the 60's. Much progress is occuring, and much more awaits. Some of the preceding responses remind us that current culture in America is still shackled by generational ignorance and xenophobia. As an elementary school principal, I can affirm that the word 'gay' is often used by children to bully their peers. Until Americans can agree on basic human rights and dignity for all, we will remain small in the assembly of great nations.


Kathleen   October 5th, 2010 9:24 pm ET

Great article, Cat.
All bullying is wrong, but anti-gay bullying is especially corrosive and dangerous because many times these kids are afraid of coming out to their own parents. So they are utterly alone. Thanks to you - and thousands of other gay and non-gay mentors and supporters - those kids will be a little less alone.

And for all the knuckle-dragging Bible bangers: the world is passing you and your religious fundamentalisms. Good riddance to the Christian zealots and their faith-based bigotry.


Nora   October 5th, 2010 9:28 pm ET

John Schaffer, there is no "push toward being gay in society" - I don't know of anyone who's ever felt pressured or pushed to be gay. If you aren't gay, no one can pressure you into being gay, nor is anyone trying to. There IS a push towards accepting people for who they are and allowing people to live the way they choose, and I applaud that. And HIV can and does infect heterosexuals.

I do not allow my kids to use the word "gay" as an epithet - it happened once, and we discussed what it means to be gay, that it is okay to be gay, and how words can really hurt people even if that wasn't the intent. If I found out my kids were bullying other kids (for any reason), I would be horrified; they would definitely face serious consequences.


Ituri   October 5th, 2010 9:28 pm ET

What a load of BS.

The gay stuff? I'm fine with it. And yes, I know its hard. But this woman plays off hard life challenges as if "straight kids" just don't have them. Straight kids never have a heartbreaking break-up? Straight kids never kill themselves?

Don't kid yourself, woman. Being gay may present you with different challenges, but trying to minimize the challenges of being alive, straight or gay, is a sad way to go about trying to make your point. Your heartbreak was NO MORE than any other persons could have been.


Robert   October 5th, 2010 9:28 pm ET

Very well said, Cat. Thank you.

Yes, people are born gay, straight, some are strong and some are weak. It's the inability of people to understand the differences in all God's children that says it all. When there is no understanding or even an attempt to understand, there is no God. To be Christian is to be Christ like. Jesus was compassionate to all. This country is full of convenience store Christians.

To respect all people and their differences is to be Christ like. Jesus did not look to exclude and neither should we. We all have a responsibility to agent's of change within our environment and respect the value of life.


Eric   October 5th, 2010 9:32 pm ET

Hey Sam, um no. How about that? Actually I have had 2 very close friends of mine successfully end their lives and I still stand by my original comments.


Onaona   October 5th, 2010 9:33 pm ET

Thanks Cat!


Phoebe   October 5th, 2010 9:33 pm ET

Very well said, Cat!
Thank you for your kind words.


Brendan   October 5th, 2010 9:33 pm ET

This is a very well written, thoughtful (& accurate) piece. Thank you Cat. As a parent, it's our job to make sure that our kids are not bullies... towards anyone, for any reason. Most of the hate & prejudice that is out there is taught to kids.


Andy   October 5th, 2010 9:35 pm ET

And furthermore, to all the people who posted that no one is born gay, I just ask....how do you know? I know I was. I've never known anything different. Never. NEVER. Perhaps those who swear it is a choice made a similar choice. Tried it, decided to jump back over the fence. That doesn't make them gay, of course. Just so unattractive physically or socially that they worked every angle they could.


ROCKWOOD   October 5th, 2010 9:35 pm ET

Thanks for the great article. It was deep and contemplative.

As for the 'haters,' I found your comments more amusing than effective.......


Kathy   October 5th, 2010 9:38 pm ET

PERFECT! VERY WELL SAID......


Aliyah   October 5th, 2010 9:39 pm ET

The Bible written by God is very clear on the subject of sin including gayness. We are all born with sin in our heart. Some ppl have a huge problem with lieing , some theft ,some adulteery.This sin that this lady has to confront is gayness. It goes against what God wants us to do. i.e. SIN. We are not supposed to give up and embrace our sin. If you do..you go against what God wants for us. NOW for those of you that dont believe in the God of the bible.... oh well...it is what it is. The bible is very clear on the subject of sin. You are SoOo tolerant of everyone except those who believe the bible....not very tolerent.


Andy   October 5th, 2010 9:39 pm ET

Ridiculous. Is that what happened to you? If not, how can you determine by your own opinion how millions of people were born, live, love, and die? Unless you personally can vouch for that assumption, I recommend you keep such rhetoric to yourself unless you don't mind seeming unfortunately ignorant.


SarahLV, Northern Colorado   October 5th, 2010 9:41 pm ET

Thank you, Chef Cora, for speaking out against bullying. It really is such a huge problem amongst both our kids and our adults.

Being gay is not a choice, it is an orientation, and everyone in this world is born with an orientation, be it straight, gay, or bisexual (be you trans or cis, everyone has a specific orientation). That said, just like I don't expect you all to believe in evolution, I don't expect you to believe that sexual orientation is not a choice.

Look at it logically, though. Do you really think anyone would choose to be something that they are ostracized over? Do you think anyone would choose to risk possibly disappointing their parents, grandparents, siblings, etc.? I think you have your head buried if you think anyone would choose such a life.

And, for ykd108 and others like you, there is no such thing as a homosexual agenda. However, in speaking for other members of the GLBTA community, we'd like to ask that you quit pushing your religious agenda on us, as it is damaging the humaneness that our children have naturally.


Andy   October 5th, 2010 9:41 pm ET

Eric...if you considered me a very close friend, I'd take a flying leap off a building too.


Herb Walker   October 5th, 2010 9:42 pm ET

Joe G. (Illinois), Larry Peck:

No, Ms. Cora wasn't born gay; she was made gay by all then "libruls"
living in 1960's Mississippi. Or maybe that Kenyan Obama did it.

Somehing bothering you fellas?


Maria   October 5th, 2010 9:43 pm ET

What about the "golden rule?" Treat others as you would want to be treated. Apply it to every one who is a target: gay, overweight, sad, whatever. Treat every single person you encounter with love and respect and the world will be ok.
Reading these comments makes me worry about the state of our world. How do people go through life with so much hate? Let go of the hate, learn about love.
You rock, Cat.


ColoradoMom   October 5th, 2010 9:44 pm ET

It's a fact of life that a large percentage of the human population on our planet is gay. It's also a fact that they are born gay. They don't CHOOSE to be gay, to have the feelings they do, the attractions they do. It's not a choice, it's just a fact. Get over it, people.

The claim that gay people have an "agenda" is riotously laughable. I don't know what you have been smoking, but there's no agenda, other than the one where they are fighting for their legal RIGHTS as human beings to live, love and pursue happiness just like heterosexuals.

So anyone who thinks they are out to "gay up" other people or "corrupt" our youth is blind and just plain nuts. All they want is their human right to LEGAL AND SOCIETAL EQUALITY. Other countries like Denmark have recognized gays and their rights – both in their military and in everyday life. In fact, gay people serving in Denmark's military are allowed and even encouraged to participate in Pride parades and other celebrations. It's utterly ridiculous, to say the least, that a supposed superpower country like the USA is so behind the times and backward in its thinking.

So let's recap for the religious fanatics or the just plain stupid people:

1) Millions of gay people exist on our planet.
2) Gay people are BORN that way. It's not a choice.
3) Gay people have EVERY reason to expect to be treated as full fledged citizens, with the same legal rights and societal acceptance that heterosexual people enjoy.
4) The United States is shamefully behind the times in recognizing these facts, and woefully inadequate when it comes to finally waking up and changing the laws.

Finally, I just want to state that my husband, who served in the military, and I, are raising our two children to understand that gay people are worthy of love and recognition. We're also teaching them that gay people should have the same rights as heteros. It's RATIONAL, it's RIGHT, and as soon as humanly possible, it'll be REALITY.

I urge all rational and intelligent parents to teach their children these facts. Our world will be a much better place for it.


Chad   October 5th, 2010 9:44 pm ET

Eloquently written. Well argued. Nicely said.

Thank you for your courage and your example.


Vickie   October 5th, 2010 9:45 pm ET

To all of you who don't believe folks are born gay, how do you know you are straight? Because, you know, if you aren't born straight, you COULD be gay.
If you believe in a God, any God, take your pick, we are here because God put us here – today, just like God has throughout the ages. Gay people have always been here, just like straight people.
Sadly, it's people like you who ARE the bullies and are raising bullies.
If God is LOVE, isn't that the Christian thing to do? To love everyone, love and accept your neighbor, have an open heart?


JD   October 5th, 2010 9:47 pm ET

@Larry Peck Born gay? How ridiculous.

Larry, What a profound statement...Just wondering if you would mind sharing with the rest of us your trials and tribulations, your testimony if you will, with your own obvious struggle to DECIDE whether or not you were gay...And of course while you are at maybe the deciding factor for you to chose the 'straight' world over the gay one...I am always interested in those that admit that we are not born with our sexuality intact and MUST choose between the two at the appropriate time...:-)


amyinoaktown   October 5th, 2010 9:49 pm ET

Thanks Cat for telling your story!!


Wondering   October 5th, 2010 9:50 pm ET

Hey, Cat. I do agree with what you're saying, but... You were a cheerleader. Did you and your friends ever make fun of the geeks, fatsos, strange kids, metalheads, etc.? I'd be willingn to bet you did. No kids should be picked on. So you were gay. So what? There were many other kids at your school who were not gay but who were picked on, tortured, bullied, threatened, and even beaten up just the same. And if you were among those that made fun of them, you are guilty the same as all the others.


Laila   October 5th, 2010 9:53 pm ET

For all those who keep saying," no, ppl are not born gay": How do you know that? Did you chose your sexuality? Do you really think ppl would choose this difficult path? Why would anybody do that? And let's say, I chose to be gay, why on earth would that bother anybody? I really really don't get it! Why do some straight ppl feel so threatened by gays? WHy is it so absurd to live and let live?


Gay in NM   October 5th, 2010 9:57 pm ET

Thank you!

I'm nearly 30, and my childhood story is similar; had it not been for my kind aunt and her wife, I would have likely died at home, alone, when I was 17.

Parents and relatives, your love, support, and acceptance of your children is crucial to them.


Brad   October 5th, 2010 9:59 pm ET

It amazes me that people are so naive on HIV–> AIDS studies but spout statistics and facts off. If you look at the more recent epidemiology studies, the rates of HIV infection in the homosexuals has plummeted while the rates in heterosexuals has skyrocketed. The percentages aren't equal quite yet, but if the trend continues, you will be more likely to get HIV from unprotected/promiscuous heterosexual sex than from homosexual sex.


cheese   October 5th, 2010 9:59 pm ET

I would rather be a "knuckle-dragging Bible banger" than someone who refuses to see their sin and takes pride in living contrary to the natural order and God's will.

I find it funny that the same people lobbying for people to have an open mind and treating others with respect are the same people who spew out this hate at those of us who would dare put our faith in God, especially one who says homosexuality is a sin and unnatural.

I guess it's OK for people to call Christians names, though. We're just supposed to take it.


Rosa   October 5th, 2010 10:01 pm ET

Well said Cat.


John W.   October 5th, 2010 10:05 pm ET

I was born to prefer women in Levi's over women in Wranglers. Or, wait, was I imprinted that way?

Pedophiles claim they were born that way. When is your movement to stop putting them into cages for their helpless behavior? Perhaps it is cultural for them? Or genetic? Or biological? Or Cultural? Or at least changeless? Maybe they are hurting inside like Cat Cora? Maybe they were in the locker room all stressed out in middle school. Maybe they disappointed their parents too. So I must let them be pastors at my church? I must rent my duplex to them? I must not discriminate against them in the workplace? At a daycare I own? And should I let them marry children so they are not sad and lonely? It seems obvious that they are accountable, notwithstanding their irresponsible claim to being born that way.

Most white girls are imprinted to prefer white men. Many are imprinted to prefer black men. Or, are they born that way? It seems obvious that this is environmental.

I am a straight guy who likes to watch the Iron Chef, collect art and leather books, and do interior design. Was I born that way? No, I had an artistic father and tender mother.

They cannot find a gene for homosexuality, and most homosexual parents have straight children and most homosexual children have straight parents. But there is a gene for violence. Should we make violent criminals a protected social group?

What you like in the bedroom does not make you an ethnic group. I do not care if you like panties on or off, whips or flowers, slapping or caressing, blondes or brunettes. You don't get special civil rights. You don't get affirmative action or reparations. We all like something different in the bedroom.

Marriage is defined in centuries old dictionaries as the arrangement of a man and a woman to bond together to procreate. If you want to invent something new, come up with your own name. If you want to have a strawberry instead of a banana, fine. And you can call your strawberry a banana if that makes you feel good. Just don't make ME call your strawberry, a banana. Don't make me call two women in a bed a marriage, since a marriage already has a different English definition.

I don't really like it when Hollywood celebrities decide that they can advise me who to vote for, or which social issue I should embrace. I watch the Food Network for cooking, and don't like seeing it as a launchpad for a social agenda that has nothing to do with cooking. I don't see Cat Cora as particularly skilled at writing, nor with philosophy. Maybe she should blog about how to make food, and leave this complex issue to sociologists, child psychologists, biologists, and geneticists?


Ah   October 5th, 2010 10:07 pm ET

To all who posted a negative comment to this article – clearly you missed the point of the article. I feel sorry for you.


Sheila   October 5th, 2010 10:09 pm ET

The only difference focused on between straight and homosexual is the sex. What happens behind closed doors needs to stay there. If you have enough time to worry about how or when or why or where other people (of both varieties) are having sex then you have way to much time on your hands. I would suggest that you use that energy for other things........like finding a way to end abuse or poverty or world hunger.

Congrats Iron Chef Cora, it is refreshing for people to take a stand and focus on a problem we ALL need to deal with.


Jan   October 5th, 2010 10:10 pm ET

All you got from her article was "born gay"? THAT'S ridiculous. Not to mention clueless.


technosean   October 5th, 2010 10:10 pm ET

As a straight person who was bullied, my heart goes to anyone who has been bullied. And this is virtually all gay folks.

Thanks for speaking out. We need to stop it, and reach out to the destroyed children and give them hope. IT DOES GET BETTER.


Bud   October 5th, 2010 10:11 pm ET

I'm not sure if people are born gay or not , but what does it matter ? The US was founded by people who chose to create an environment in which people had choices , who chose freedom from persecution.

Unfortunately we have too many people who feel they have the right to choose for other people. Many of these people are too weak-minded and too afraid to make their own choices, therefore they allow themselves to be told what to do – organized religion, cults, cliques or other such organizations. Their reaction to being told what to do – which is not a natural condition, in order to try to regain the control they have given up, is to try to control others. We see this throughout history, in all cultures..


Richard   October 5th, 2010 10:14 pm ET

It's refreshing to see the vast majority understands what's trying to be conveyed. The twenty or so percentage who don't, are the same simpleton ignoramus's who have somehow convinced themselves, and their closest friends, that our President is a foreign born Muslim, with a Doctorate in Marxist studies. The USA isn't doomed after all. There is intelligent life out there.


Francisco Cardenas   October 5th, 2010 10:18 pm ET

Beautifully expressed. Bless you!


Ah   October 5th, 2010 10:19 pm ET

Cheese, the difference between so called Christians and gays is this:
Gays don't care if you are Christian. We leave you in peace.
You so called Christians care if we are gay. (not sure why). But you don't leave us in peace. Obviously when you are Christian that gives you the right to be judgemental.


cheese   October 5th, 2010 10:22 pm ET

I don't understand why there is so much hate of organized religion and especially Christianity. Is it because it provides a moral code? Is it because it is based on having rules and living with humility and focuses on something other than one's self? How arrogant is our society that we feel we have the right to do whatever we want whenever we want as long as it makes us feel good. It really is sad.


CQ Scafidi   October 5th, 2010 10:22 pm ET

Can someone tell me what part of the Homosexual "agenda" involves suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge?


Bob   October 5th, 2010 10:22 pm ET

Thanks for your excellent article. I knew I was "different" when I was only three years old. I never had a "choice" in the matter. I was bullied in junior high, especially by a jock who tormented me in front of other kids constantly. Lo and behold, I ran into him after graduating from college, and he is gay. Guess the old saying "he who protests too much" often really is true. Hang in there, young people! Your lives will get better.


Feev June   October 5th, 2010 10:26 pm ET

How does it end when the parents of the bullies are bullies themselves? They disrespect others, are mean, and could care less about compassion or their neighbors. Heaven forbid their kids ever show those traits, or they'd get a beating for sure. For the bully, it's normal to do what they do since mom and dad do it that way.


Jason   October 5th, 2010 10:27 pm ET

Iron Chef Cora – well said! I was very touched by your comments. Thank you!

Bullying, regardless of reason, is something that all too many have had to endure, and it gets the best of some fine and otherwise strong people. It is difficult to look at the bullies of the world and see someone who is also in need of compassion, but ultimately that is part of the solution.

What helps perpetuate bullying is the misconception that so many people have: that their opinions or interpretations are absolute truths. Several of these posts say with some degree of certainty that "nobody is born gay". How can this be truly known? Because there is no hard evidence cited by the AMA? Even our most insightful experts are baffled by plenty of things. Medical understanding changes on a daily basis. Whether or not people are born gay makes no difference – people are people and should be respected as such. My opinion could certainly be wrong, but I have not tormented anyone for the sake of it.


Dan   October 5th, 2010 10:27 pm ET

Homosexuality might be compared to drug use, gambling, prostitution or similar vices, and a similar question so often posed by gay rights advocates might also be asked by these practitioners: How does some one minding his own business and shooting heroin or snorting coke, going with prostitutes or gambling affect your personal life and happiness? Well, it shouldn’t.

But that is theory.

In real life we know that these things create and perpetuate an undesirable and dangerous social climate. The same can be said of homosexual activity. We know from real life experience that it creates and perpetuates a social climate that glorifies self-centeredness, hedonistic pleasures, the spread of diseases, social instability and so forth, the so-called “gay lifestyle.”

If society had to choose between social preferences that focus on children, monogamy, fidelity and stable family relationships, and ones that focus on individualistic, promiscuous, hedonistic pleasures and one-night stands, what should that preference be?

I think we all know.

The problem with homosexuality is not so much the isolated act, but the unhealthy social climate created and perpetuated by the selfish pursuit and glorification of carnal pleasures. It is no different from the same problem that any life of immorality would create.


Mark My Words   October 5th, 2010 10:28 pm ET

Miss Cora,

I would like to encourage everyone of us to read the Holy Bible. If we would use it as our measure, we would find the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Isn't that what all of us are really searching for? The truth about our feelings, the way to live our lives and the light to guide us to places we cannot go on our own...

Mark


rukiddingme   October 5th, 2010 10:31 pm ET

and by the way...that is a wonderfully written article and expresses so much of the deep feelings and frustrations, especially the loneliness and alienation that young gays feel. Thank you so much for writing it.


Thomas   October 5th, 2010 10:31 pm ET

You were not born left-handed. You just saw some random person doing it and thought it would be cool to be abnormal like that. You know everyone is right-handed and only the right-handed people are normal. We're the majority. It's unthinkable that anyone could ever be left-handed, because I'm right-handed and most of the people I know are too. I know people who thought they were left-handed, but learned how to be right-handed, so that shows how wrong lefties are. And now they want things like Lefty scissors and notebooks and stuff. It's gross and abnormal and should be outlawed. Science hasn't proven to me that anyone was born left-handed, so it's not true no matter what they say.

Are there any more good examples of bullies out there? Feel free to continue to post, as you've been doing. Feel free to use my post as a template and "find-and-replace" on Left-Handed and Right-Handed for speedy posting, for example, find and replace for gayness.


cheese   October 5th, 2010 10:34 pm ET

Ah-

No, the difference is not that "you" leave "us" in peace, it is that we believe in something greater than ourselves. We believe that because of what Christ did for ALL PEOPLE (not just heterosexual Christians), we should repent of our sins and place our trust in what He teaches in His Word.

Society today is so focused on freedom and doing what makes you feel good and all warm and fuzzy inside. Life is not about ourselves. it is about living as a reflection of God who created all life.

If "you" leave "us" in peace why is there so much talk in the world today of how evil Christians are for telling homosexuals they are sinning against God's law? Where is the column on cnn.com from the conservative Christian viewpoint?

The gist of this article is to say bullying needs to stop, which is completely true. Bullying is wrong no matter what the reason is happens, but to focus it on saying it's because of the word "gay" is segmenting it to once again blame those who don't agree that homosexuality is natural. Not all of us who say homosexuality is wrong want bad things to happen to gay people, we just don't agree with the lifestyle and get attacked when we voice that opposing viewpoint. So who really are the close-mided ones?


DonDon   October 5th, 2010 10:39 pm ET

One can only hope, for the sake of humanity and society that it is proven that being gay is not a choice but a genetic disposition. The best man who stood beside me in my wedding happens to be gay. Because I am not gay, it is hard to grasp how this would be a choice and not a disposition. I really feel it is something one is born with...


Tom   October 5th, 2010 10:39 pm ET

Spot on Steve T. I hate mean People. And thanks Cora for telling it like it is!


saddened   October 5th, 2010 10:40 pm ET

I knew 2 kids over 35 years ago who died of what they said was natural causes in separate incidents a couple years apart. They were gay. They were really good people. Big hearts and kind. I miss them to this day. The stigmas this twisted society causes where religion forces norms on those who do not conform and where people who claim to be good people put even greater stresses on those who are already troubled needs to be changed. To the idiots quoting the holy bible. My dog will see heaven long before you, your and you mythology. You are NO Christian. You disgust me in every way possible.


dan   October 5th, 2010 10:41 pm ET

Whether you believe it or not homosexuality is a sin against GOD they will not inherit the kingdom of god unless they repent and stop sinning. The wages of sin is death.this country was founded on god now we turn our backs on god. Believe it or not your choice.


???   October 5th, 2010 10:42 pm ET

What's arong with kids having open and unprejudiced discutions in schools? Children should know about everyones beliefs and learn to respect other kids for who they are. This might even help stop some bullying. This means talking about how it's ok to be gay. And if a child is gay, the last thing their parents should do is try to stop them and make them hate themselves for who they are.


bubba   October 5th, 2010 10:44 pm ET

no..........."gay" is not killing the kids. the kids are killing themselves.


Mei   October 5th, 2010 10:44 pm ET

No one is born gay. Twenty years ago they claimed to find the gay-gene and even after the entire Human Genome has been mapped, it was nowhere to be found. After that bit backfired, "the agenda" attempted to find a correlation between being born and being gay. They looked at IDENTICAL TWINS, yes, the CLONES of the natural world and found that only 35 percent of those who had one twin gay had the other twin develop the same way...back to the drawing board. If natural clones, who share the same DNA are not both gay 99.9999 percent of the time, then it is not close to being scientific and only makes for good conversation. Unfortunately, the sheeple of the world have bought the lie: hook, line and sinker.

Now, is bullying ok? No. No matter in what form it is presented. However, you cannot correlate a CHOICE and claim that it is discrimination akin to African-Americans. Homosexuality is a choice!


Jeff   October 5th, 2010 10:46 pm ET

Thank you for having the courage to write and share this and, in turn, giving us all courage and hope Chef. You are amazing in the kitchen and amazing in your life.


baloney   October 5th, 2010 10:46 pm ET

Let's see.. if your born gay, that's ok and you say it happens and you can't change it....It not a choice it's an orientation. Ok,well what about pedofiles? Some people say they are born that way? So, since they might be born that way, should that be allowed and ok ? The answer is HELL NO. But the point is, why is it ok for one group of people to be born a certain way ok, and not another? And I am sure their are many other examples as well.


AnaHadWolves   October 5th, 2010 10:47 pm ET

I continue to be amused at those who say that being gay is "a choice" or a lifestyle". Really? Then please explain to the rest of us when you chose to be straight? Uh, you say you were BORN THAT WAY? How can that be? If gay people get to choose, then how is it that you didn't?

Reverse social Darwinism on full display.


Bloke   October 5th, 2010 10:48 pm ET

Dan, your comments are disgusting. You do nothing but blindly follow stereotypes and refuse to see the diversity of people involved in this issue.

There's no debating your type because you refuse to see. Your comments show us that.

Your attitude is just as immoral as those things you call immoral.


AZJLP   October 5th, 2010 10:49 pm ET

God did not WRITE the bible. The bible was spoken word past on for many years before man decided to write it down. After it had passed through several different people, languages and personal prejudices.

There are 3500 species of life on this planet with homosexual behaviors. Is it chosen or taught by them? Who teaches the creatures to be gay?

I have known people in non sexual gay relationships. For several years. They were happy. They waited for a ceremony to consummate the marriage. Are heterosexuals who choose not to have children hedonistic and selfish only together for carnal pleasures? What about men and women born unable to procreate? Should they stay without a relationship because God obviously does not want them to bear children? Should they not take someone who can procreate for their own selfish pleasure?
A homosexual is like a heroin addict? It does not make you steal, or die.

Anyone? Answers? Thanks for any insight you can offer.


m jones   October 5th, 2010 10:49 pm ET

thank goodness for CAT!!!!!!! These stories are GAY BASHING to the core. All people need to wake up and realize that "WE'RE HERE, WE'RE QUEER, GET USE TO IT"!!!!!!!!!!!


Edward Reilly   October 5th, 2010 10:50 pm ET

As a straight 69 year old male who has had two very close friends who were gay males (NO, Not THAT close:), whom I came to love, this piece brought me to tears, as did so many of the others above...to my thinking one "cure" for all this ignorant hatred and bias would be greater recognition of the concept that one , and ANY of US could be BORN gay...it is not a "choice"!


Janice Sherman   October 5th, 2010 10:50 pm ET

Holier-than-thou types will never embrace the fact that some people are born gay. You can show all the scientific data you want about brain and hormonal differences and they still won't get it. Why? Because they choose the Bible over education. They choose to stay in the Dark Ages. Thanks Cat Cora for a very insightful article. The majority of us who have educated ourselves do get it.


Dan   October 5th, 2010 10:52 pm ET

Except when it comes to homosexuality, there is a man who has a body designed for a woman and then there is a woman who's body is designed for a man... Every person in the world has two hands so they can be left handed or right handed... homosexuals, while I feel they are not to be treated wrongly or bullied most definitely, they are making a choice to become something they were not designed to be.


Dan   October 5th, 2010 10:56 pm ET

Thank you for posting this dan!


Chris   October 5th, 2010 10:56 pm ET

Bullying of any sort is just unacceptable in our society today. Freedom is a right we are born with and should not be taken from us. On a side note, I would have to agree with some people making comments in that nobody is born gay. It is a lifestyle that people choose. It is a lifestyle that a 'straight' person can pursue. It is a lifestyle that a 'gay' person can choose to leave. Nobody said it was easy but it is possible. That's why ministries like "Strength in Weakness" were launched – to help people understand themselves and their feelings as well as what steps they can take to make changes in their lives.


James   October 5th, 2010 10:57 pm ET

Gay or not the fact is this: The cruelest people in the world are children. They, as a whole, are not mature enough to understand their decisions or the reprecutions of their decisions to taunt, haze, and bully others. Because they have not come to fully understand both empathy and consideration of others they act in ways that cause harm to others without even realizing how hurtful they can be. As children they cannot be completely blamed for their actions. It is the fault of parents who do not teach their children right from wrong and who fail to steer them toward civic virtues such as respect and common decency. Additionally educators are virtually powerless to enforce any standards of personal and social conduct for fear of legal action. This propegates a vicious cycle that perpetuated by our society and seeks to coddle the offending child and to understand where they come from as opposed to showing adequate concern for and caring for the victims of bullying. Children need to be taught respect and understanding at a young age otherwise this vicious cycle will continue. We need to remember, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." It is time to stop being so politically correct and afraid of instilling common decency. It is time show our children from the start to be mature and that all are worthy of respect. As someone who was bullied all through school I can say that our children deserve nothing less.


E   October 5th, 2010 11:01 pm ET

You are right. We should not use the word "gay". We should use the correct term - "lesbian" or "homosexual". "Gay" means happy. It always did, and it will always mean "happy". Homosexuals can't change the meaning of a word just because they want a nice title to a perverted lifestyle.


S.Mendez   October 5th, 2010 11:04 pm ET

Apparently mental illness and being gay are linked. Theses kids kill themselves because of being bullied at school? Please. Thney killed themselves because they were mentally ill, if they were not, then killing themselves would never of been an option. Suicide is not a viable option for the healthy stable mind. The Author says she was born gay. I think with the amount of gay kids killing themselves, someone should look into the mental stability of someone who is sexually attracted to the same sex, kids that call themselves gay may be telling you that they are confused and mentally unstable. Kids that call themselves gay should be watch carefully and have a full psychiatric evaluation. The problem is in the damaged mind, not in the bully kids at school who have bad parents that set bad examples. If your life stress makes you want to kill your self then you are not mentally healthy, life stress happens to us all, and the healthy mind deals with it appropriately. The damaged mind believes it is gay.


Mickey   October 5th, 2010 11:05 pm ET

They should hire me and Brock Lesnar, then you wouldn't see that happen.


BornStraight   October 5th, 2010 11:05 pm ET

Nobody is "born gay" no matter what they say. Gay people do not reproduce, the genetic information is not passed on, therefore, there is no such thing as a "Gay Gene". Stop trying to justify homosexuality as a genetic trait. You're a product of your social environment no matter how much you deny it.


Brian Dodge   October 5th, 2010 11:05 pm ET

The problem is that right wing Christian terrorists aren't homophobic – the root "phobic" means fear, and they have nothing to fear. What they have is HATE in their hearts for homosexuals, and can spew their vile message without condemnation or consequence. Outing them as right wing, or Christian, or militant heterosexual just gets them more support from their bigoted base; until someone subjects them to the same kind of physical assaults as have been perpetrated on gays, they will continue their verbal intimidation


Kathleen   October 5th, 2010 11:06 pm ET

Are people born heterosexual? Or do they choose to become that way?


Tony   October 5th, 2010 11:07 pm ET

Pride and self worth starts in the home!

I see a reoccurring theme here. You keep hearing people ask what is the government going to do? What are the schools going to do? How could they allow this? The reality is every parent should be asking themselves what am I doing to make sure this never happens again?

The sense of hopelessness that causes someone who's only 18 years old to jump off a bridge can only come from a sense that nobody has his back, that nobody could possibly understand. The question becomes, why didn't he feel comfortable talking to his parents about it?

As a gay man myself; I know the reason I didn't speak to my parents about it was because of the things I heard come from their own mouths. They unknowingly told me I couldn't talk to them about it. And by extension it meant I couldn't talk to them about a number of things in my life. It meant that several aspects of my life had to be avoided entirely because so many avenues led back to the unavoidable truth that I was gay. So I couldn't speak to them about love, relationships, etc. I feared that even discussions that involved my "Friend" to often might make them wonder and think poorly of me.

Now before you begin to think that my parents were these horrible monsters I'll just say this; It wasn't like they were constantly driving the point home that they hated gay people. But you see, it only took a couple of times for the seed to be planted. To me it meant that there was something inside of me that the people who loved me in every other way could never except. That is the most horrible feeling in the world. Especially because you know its not within your power to change this part of yourself. And once you get it in your head that the people you love and trust find something despicable about you, then your sense of self worth and value begins to degrade.

The prejudices and ignorance they harbored was the unwitting wedge between us. When I moved out on my own and decided to come out, It took me weeks to fill in the gaps that was my teenage life. And there were volumes to tell. The question from my mom was "Why didn't you just tell us" to that I simply asked in a condescending tone. "Really?" to that silence.

This is precisely why even the hate you keep in the four walls of your home can have devastating consequences.


AZJLP   October 5th, 2010 11:12 pm ET

All men are created female first.

What was the moment that you decided "Hmm..should I be gay or straight. Which lifestyle do I choose?" I would like to hear your story.

Also, all the bible dooers. Sex with anyone other than your spouse is the sin. Not homosexuality. So, unless you are a virgin until marriage you are committing the same sin as any homosexual. Also, are you divorces and remarried? Did you get an annulment or are you having sex with someone other than who the church recognizes as your spouse? So, hold on before you cast that first stone.

Anyone? Response to either posts? Thanks, I just need your clarification.

Good day.


ColoradoMom   October 5th, 2010 11:14 pm ET

"...The same can be said of homosexual activity. We know from real life experience that it creates and perpetuates a social climate that glorifies self-centeredness, hedonistic pleasures, the spread of diseases, social instability and so forth, the so-called “gay lifestyle.” "

Newsflash:

1) So-called straight people are equally as self centered as gay people.

2) Hedonistic pleasure is not limited to gay sex. To suggest otherwise is just laughter–inducing.

3) Heterosexual partnerships, whether long term or one night stands, are equally capable of spreading STD's as homosexual ones.

4) Social instability? I suggest you check the statistics. The vast majority of illegal activities, whether white collar crimes or violent ones, are committed by people who identify themselves as being straight.

5) Being gay isn't a "lifestyle". It isn't a "choice". It's just a fact, it's who the person is inside.

Someone above said (paraphrasing here) that "you don't get to have special rights". The point is, gay folks don't even have EQUAL rights. They're not asking for special ones. They just want to be legally and socially EQUAL, having the right to marry whomever they love and choose to spend their life with – just like heterosexual people. The right to have health insurance coverage as spouses – just like heterosexual people. The right to adopt children and give them loving homes, raising them to be good people and good citizens – just like heterosexual people.

Etcetera.

Again, they're not asking for "special" rights, just EQUAL ones. Otherwise, if they are treated like subhumans and not worthy of the same rights and privileges as hetero people, why in the world should gay folks have to keep paying taxes?


earthgrl   October 5th, 2010 11:16 pm ET

For those who say being gay is a choice, it's understandable that you're afraid of something you don't understand. From your own life experiences, this makes no sense to you. I'm sure you feel like no one else has the right to judge your life and your decisions because they don't understand your life. The same is true for your judgment of homosexuals – you have no frame of reference to judge others and say whether being gay is a choice. I am not gay, but have several gay friends. They did not choose to be gay. No one would – it's too hard a life.

If you're a Christian and posting hateful comments and thinking hateful thoughts, then I implore you to take a look at Jesus' message and how he lived his life – it was about unconditional Love, pure and simple. He did not discriminate against anyone, and treated everyone with love and respect. His interactions with others made them better people – can you say the same?

Every person on this planet deserves to be loved and respected for who they are. No one deserves to be bullied for any reason, no one deserves less than having every need met. For humans, we need Love, as well as food, water, shelter, and continuation of our species. We'll have Peace when we start being peaceful, when we start to care for one another, and when we stop letting our fears and egos get in our way.


swoopy009   October 5th, 2010 11:17 pm ET

people choose to be gay, just as they choose to be straight


Cathy   October 5th, 2010 11:18 pm ET

Good on ya, Cat!!!


Dick   October 5th, 2010 11:20 pm ET

I'm not a fan of homosexuality, but I am a fan of ALL children feeling safe and comfortable in their life, especially at school. It hurts me when I hear about children hurting.


Ryan   October 5th, 2010 11:22 pm ET

I believe this is so , true..., I am also a gay American, I am only 19, and I know the harshness society put on young gay individuals. NO ONE! should EVER! have to experience, hatred, or humiliation from anyone, because they are of a certain sexual orientation. There is already enough hatred in this world. Don't hate a child or a person, because they are gay. They have done nothing wrong to you.


juliette Hachey   October 5th, 2010 11:24 pm ET

As an
As an Educator I made it my mission to talk to my students
about bullying. Not only did I teach them what to do when
dealing with bullies, but I also made sure that children knew
what bullying was. Some young children bully but they don't realize
that they are doing it. If not caught early they can grow up being
real bully. Teasing is the beginning of bullying. I always told them, If the person who you are teasing is not laughing with you, then you
are being a bully. I guess what I am trying to say is that education
at a very early age is very important. Bullying happens just not in
schools, often begins at home.

A


Kilbo Kwiani   October 5th, 2010 11:24 pm ET

Joe G. (Illinois): I reject your comments. Good, respectable, decent people reject your notion that "nothing to feel sorry about gay people. And the idea that they are just poor, quiet, gentle people who just want to mind their own business and not bother others is also false and misleading."

You are not speaking the truth.


Thomas   October 5th, 2010 11:25 pm ET

As a gay Christian, I would like people to stop being judgmental. For some, it's claiming that all Christians are haters and for others, that's claiming that all gays are immoral hedonistic pagans.

For those people, like "Dan", stop complaining about gays being hedonistic revelers cavorting in carnal pleasure. If you were truly against that, you'd also rant against Mardi Gras, Carnival, and Super Bowl games. Girls Gone Wild does not represent all heterosexual females any more than the actions of some people at the White Party represent all Gays. You can only handle so much of that anyway, before you go crazy or start looking haggard and nasty.
If you were so into the sanctity of male+female marriage, you'd rant more against 55 hour celebrity marriages and game shows where the prize is getting married to a millionaire or some random bachelor. If you want to reduce hedonism and carnal activities in the gay population, I would think you'd argue more for gay marriage than anything else. From what I've heard, the best way to reduce sexual activity with your partner is to get married.
For those of you who extol the moralistic virtues of Leviticus (did you know it was in the book of Leviticus?), you might weigh the worth of that rule: "guys shouldn't lay with guys" against the other lines in that section – like don't eat bacon, how to deal with sorcerers and magicians, and cast out from the village the females who are menstruating. Don't pick and choose some of the rules vs. others. "God's word" should be "God's word".


Skeptic   October 5th, 2010 11:25 pm ET

I would like to see DNA & Brain Activity tracking on at least 10k people from birth until they reach around 30-35 years of age, and then see if there TRULY is a "born gay" factor. Along with the tracking of the medical factors, there should be documentation of the sexuality of friends, teachers, family members, etc etc through out the entirety of the evaluations....
I could be wrong but I believe that every single gay person learns to be gay at some point in their life & that it is not a natural occurrence in people from the moment they are born.

ONLY TRUE SCIENTIFIC DOCUMENTATION WILL FIND THE TRUTH!


AZJLP   October 5th, 2010 11:26 pm ET

All homosexuals should model themselves after heterosexuals, like Brittany Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. All Not selfish very committed to their heterosexual relationships with no cheating, ever.


6cobra   October 5th, 2010 11:27 pm ET

James, good idea. Lets teach bullies not to beat up other kids.. by beating them. There's nothing like some hitting to teach a child that hitting is bad.


cheese   October 5th, 2010 11:30 pm ET

AZJP-

1. God created perfect life, everything he created was perfect including heterosexuality. Everyone is born heterosexual because it is how God created life. He made them man and woman in his image (that is perfect) and instituted marriage and created sex as a way to reproduce between a man and a woman. it was man's own free will that was a gift of God that has been perverted first by temptations by the devil, and since the fall of man, the world and our own sinful nature.

2. You're right, having sex outside of marriage is a sin. However, homosexuality is also clearly defined several times in the bible as a sin. Do the cities of Soddom and Gomorrah ring any bells. God destroyed them because of their godlessness and sexual sins, yes, including homosexuality. It talks of the sin thorughout the book of 1 Kings and again in Job and even more clearly in 1 Corinthians 6:9 – "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders"

Care to try again?


Ron   October 5th, 2010 11:32 pm ET

Thank you, Cat. Your words mean so much to me and everyone in our commnunity.


chris   October 5th, 2010 11:34 pm ET

if homosexuality is a "choice"...

...then why in the world would anyone *choose* to live as a second-class citizen, subject to bigotry and hate-filled prejudice such as what I see here, apt to lose jobs, family relationships if they come out, etc etc?

If it's a choice, then why in HELL would any teenager "choose" it, *knowing* what kind of stigma they'll be under?

And for those thinking it's still a "choice"...did you "choose" to be straight? And if you did choose it...doesn't that mean that you have leanings towards being gay, too? Which implies that bisexuality is INBORN, because if it wasn't, then there wouldn't be anything to choose between. Why choose something that you're not drawn to?


Jay   October 5th, 2010 11:35 pm ET

Bobby Flay used to be my favorite Iron Chef. No longer. YOU ROCK CAT CORA!!!!!!!!!!


Michael Wong   October 5th, 2010 11:36 pm ET

I used to be a homophobe myself, a long time ago. At the time, you think you're standing up for moral values. But looking back on it more than a decade later, I see that I was just being tribal: I was identifying with my group and picking on the outsiders.

At the end of the day, the great moral issues of the day have to do with hurting people, not sexuality. When we hurt people in pursuit of some outmoded goal of sexual conformity, we have a moral code which is upside down.


Ronnie Harper   October 5th, 2010 11:36 pm ET

These words are the truth – make no mistake about it, I was fondling boys when I was 4 years old. Nobody chooses their sexuality, that's false, a notion perpetrated by hateful people. These are the facts, I assure everyone that doesn't understand. When did you choose to be straight?


Pat   October 5th, 2010 11:37 pm ET

Mei....it would help if you knew something about science before you opened your mouth.
As you say, the human genome has been mapped. So I guess we have cures for every genetic disease now? Just because it is mapped doesnt mean they know what every part is for.
Try learning science before you use it. People like you are very dangerous.
I'm glad I didnt have to decide if I am gay or not. Being a straight man, I can honestly say I have never been attracted to another man. Maybe all those that say it isnt inborn have struggled with an attraction to someone that is the same sex?
As for the bible, it was written by a man, not GOD. Men lie. Men have agendas. So you say it is the word of GOD? Who says so? Moses? He was a man. You are believing in what a man said that GOD said, not what GOD said!!!!


cheese   October 5th, 2010 11:39 pm ET

earthgrl –

It is true Christ preached about love and died for all, however, he is also the LORD of the Old Testament that laid waste to all those who opposed his moral laws.

Christ's death on the cross was a gift of God not because we deserved it but because he loves us all. However, those who choose to live in their sin with no repentance will not share in the eternal life Christ won for all. God is a god of love but also one of wrath for those who place their trust in themselves or the world.


you're kidding right???   October 5th, 2010 11:41 pm ET

get over yourselves people. bullying's got nothing to do with gay this or gay that. it's people just trying to belittle other people to get their way. basically it's called being a democrat. THE END.


A Voice Of Reason   October 5th, 2010 11:41 pm ET

Thank you Cat for speaking out on behalf of yourself, the gay community, and most importantly, mankind. THIS is well written because it is the truth. Many people have commented and stated "what about the straight kids...they have hardships too". Straight kids don't have to hide who they love. They do not have to hide their feelings. They aren't told that their feelings are WRONG. They aren't sent to church camps to scare the gay away. Straight "kids" are allowed to marry who they want, and when they want. But no, you're right, this isn't just about gay people. Its about blacks, italians, jews, muslims, chinese, and every other type of human being that has ever felt oppressed in this so called "Land of the Free". How are we so compelled to ask for freedom when we won't even give the same freedom to our neighbors?? How could one possibly think that being gay is a choice? Do straight people CHOOSE to be straight? No, they certainly do not. Even if it was a "choice", if it isn't your life and they aren't hurting anyone, then why do you care? Unfortunately, this is something this country will have to work through, just as we worked through the civil rights movement in the past. THE POINT IS: Watch your words, for they are more powerful and then one could ever imagine. How hard is it to show respect for others?


zaitrancer   October 5th, 2010 11:43 pm ET

Thank you for this inspirational article, Chef Cora. I was born in the 70's and grew up in the rural Mississippi in an evangelical household. Although I am a gay male your story really resonates with me. I remember many nights in prayer on the stone slab behind the barn where I begged into the night sky for God to deliver me from the evil of homosexuality. I now live in Canada where I have a built an amazingly charmed life with my partner of 10 years to whom I am engaged to be married next year. As much as I've developed a palette for the amazing Asian cuisines on offer in Vancouver, I still thrill to watch you on Iron Chef America because I swear there's nothing quite like Southern cooking to feed the soul. I had no idea you were gay, and I have mad respect for you and you have my full support for who you are and your message. Although we are thousands of miles apart, I join in solidarity with you for the common cause for which we work. Much respect.


Calvin Lewis   October 5th, 2010 11:47 pm ET

How could a person KNOW that they were born gay? I understand that a person can remember having same-sex attraction from his/her earliest memories, but that isn't the same as knowing you were born with those feelings. How can a person possibly know the condition of his/her emotional-sexual-relational orientation at the time of their birth?

Now the other side: Please STOP saying that people CHOOSE to have feelings of same-sex attraction. To say differently is to reveal you've never had a meaningly, authentic conversation with LGBT person. A person chooses what to do with their feelings, but that is not the same as a person choosing their internal, non-conscious attractions.

For Christians who are so ready to condemn, careful. According to the Bible, Paul was the chief of sinners, and he wasn't gay. He was a well-trained, conservative, religious fundamentalist who used to care more about his values than Jesus. Telling people what is wrong with them is biblically pointless unless you get to the who, what and why of Jesus. Law without Gospel is heresy.

Here's a question I've been wrestling with: From a Darwinian perspective on sex and reproduction, how shall we view homosexuality? If the most basic biological drive is to propagate the next generation, what does this say about same-sex relationships? Are homosexual desires a way for evolution to keep some people from passing on their genes?


AT   October 5th, 2010 11:50 pm ET

Excellent article. Many of our students see no way of the torment they face every day. I try my best as an educator to do my part. Family values are key to fighting this tragic trend with our children. It does not matter what we feel personally about being gay, we must agree that the bullying must stop. Thank you for a great article. I pray that we can all come together and save our children.


Helene   October 5th, 2010 11:50 pm ET

Why do people have to be labeled as "different"...aren't we all different? It seems that way back most of us were raised to be conformists and had to dress the same way, look the say way, act the same way. Society has evolved into a diverse culture where we should allowed to be who we are (as long as we're not hurting anyone), love who we are and acknowledge the same for others. It boils down to teaching respect and tolerance for one another and if we are to have any hope for the future, it starts with teaching our children these essential values. In the end, we are all human beings and all interconnected; if we can understand that life is a rare and precious gift, then we can respect and appreciate everyone around us for just trying to be human. Religion, sexual preferences, race, age, status...none of that will matter when we embrace our humanity.


Leslie   October 5th, 2010 11:51 pm ET

Thank You! I could not have said it better. I too am gay. I also tried very hard to be straight. My heart is breaking right now for all our kids that are in so much pain that they are choosing to die rather then face what can be a wonderful road ahead.
Society, parents and teachers need to do a much better job teaching
our children acceptance of all people.
I am 52 now and have had a wonderful life. My 19 year old son just came out. I am scared for him, but I hope that he will live in a world that is easier and more understanding. To all our "gay" children, please hang in there, it will get much better!!


YBP   October 5th, 2010 11:53 pm ET

Those first two paragraphs were my life exactly as a closeted gay kid. And yes, that first break-up is profoundly lonely and almost impossible to recover from behind that closet door.

Gay or straight, sexual orientation is not a choice. It is also not something that can or should be changed. If you're gay, you know this. If you're straight, you know this. If you are a self-loathing, closeted gay (and probably deeply "religious") person, you pretend that it's a choice, because you need to believe that you can choose to change. But you can't. You have been gay for as long as you can remember, and nothing is going to make those feelings go away. It's who you are. It's time to accept yourself and cope with it.

Why doesn't CNN bring in some learned professionals on this matter, rather than a bunch of gay celebrities? This doesn't really help.

A panel of medical professionals could easily clear this up and put an end to homophobia in this "sweet land of bigotry" once and for all. There are scientific findings about the similarities in the brains of gay men and straight women, as well as in the brains of gay women and straight men. There are also scientific theories about what goes on with the release (or deficiency) of male hormones in the womb that results in a homosexual child. The fact that we all begin life in the womb as female is a pretty good jumping off point for discussing the possibility and probability that a child could turn out gay.

Yes, we are born that way.


Shaun   October 5th, 2010 11:54 pm ET

"BORN gay" LOL! Thats some funny stuff right there...


Alli   October 5th, 2010 11:55 pm ET

Thank you Chef Cora for talking about these kids who are hurting so badly. Please hear the message loud and clear kids....reach out for help you will be helped. You matter and have so much life to live...don't give up.


Aliyah   October 5th, 2010 11:56 pm ET

I am christian and think that some ppl are born gay and others like it better the being a hetro. I also know we are all born as sinners. The bible says that there is no sin, lie, murder, fornication, gay, ect...greater than another with the exception blasphemy against the holy spirit.. As a follower of the bible I am told, as well as believe, it is not what God wants for us and is as such called sin. The bible says if we say we are without sin the truth is not in us. SoOo we all are in the same boat. That being said as a follower of the bible I am not allowed to stand by and say that a lie is ok, or stealing is ok or looking at a women with lust is ok or THAT BEING GAY is ok. Its not judgemental, its decerning. Not that judging is always wrong it has its place, We are following the bible and it is considered a loving act to tell ppl what God does not like as stated in the bible. . .


John W.   October 5th, 2010 11:57 pm ET

Zaitrancer did you "develop your palette" or were you born with it?


Matt Slager   October 6th, 2010 12:07 am ET

AMEN!


bloggulator   October 6th, 2010 12:08 am ET

Hatred for those who are "different" is fueled by the same engine of fear and ignorance that has been utilized by some of the most evil humans to have trod this earth, causing so much death, suffering and pain. The Holocaust was a result of the same mental disorder that afflicts the playground bullies, except in the Nazis' case, the power to murder was enforced by State rulings and the fact that psychopathic enforcers were armed to the teeth.


AZJLP   October 6th, 2010 12:08 am ET

Cheesy:

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts,

[10] nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.
[11] And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
[12]
"All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be enslaved by anything.

Perverts are rapists, pedophiles, beastalitiy,

But why did God make 3500 species that also display homosexual behavior?

Homosexuality as a mental illness was thrown out sometime after the medical community dropped the notion that blacks have less brain size than whites.

Judge not lest ye be judged.

God also did not write the bible. Man wrote it hundreds of years after it was passed word of mouth. Humans perverted gods word. The same people who made you pay to have sins absolved wrote the bible. Man is made of sin and that man with his prejudice wrote it.


karen in texas   October 6th, 2010 12:11 am ET

Wow. It's amazing how many people can be so certain that "no one is born gay" when obviously they aren't gay. I haven't seen anyone post that they remember the defining moment when they thought, "you know, I think I might be straight!" and then went home and cried and prayed that it really wasn't true, that they really were gay. That God hadn't played this cruel joke on them and made them straight. How they had to deal with the school board in their small town trying to expel them because there was a rumor that they were straight, how they felt when the coach of the basketball team threatened the team members with a 6 game suspension if anyone was caught talking to them because there was a rumor that they were straight. It really isn't a big deal, because this kind of thing is easy to deal with when you're 16. Thank god I had a few friends and a supportive brother who got me through all of that...even after 35 years, I can still remember how it felt.


Willa   October 6th, 2010 12:12 am ET

Stop hiding behind Christ! Stop taking his name in vain with your ignorant comments. CHRIST DOES NOT HATE— EVER! He loved and accepted all.

I've met some good Christians (who are plentiful, loving and accepting) and I have met some people who call themselves Christian- but more closely resemble Satan (as is apparent with the numerous bigoted posters here).

It would make sense that the anti-Christs of the world would assume the form of "Christian fundamentalists". After all- what better way to destroy faith than to create, fictionalize, and promote hate from within, thereby finally destroying Christ's messages of love and tolerance.

I will pray for those who are intolerant- they are misguided and know not what they do.They are being led to eternal damnation by demons masquerading as Christian crusaders, promoting hate towards gays and lesbians. Again- these are not true Christians- they are anti-Christs!

I have read the bible many times- guess what?- Christ never once mentioned homosexuality as a sin. Not one time! There is a passage in the Old Testament referencing man laying with another man. This "sin" is equal to eating pork, and women not covering their hair, as well as many other things that almost everyone does on a daily basis, However, Christ himself mentions numerous times in many eloquent passages that hate and intolerance are sins. In fact they are BIG and damnable sins.

Those who express fear and hatred of gays and lesbians are not Christian, regardless of what they call themselves. They are and will forever be the antithesis of Christ's teachings.

If you are gay or lesbian, or bullied in any way, shape or form by someone claiming to be a "Christian"- just know they are not! They are just demons posing as followers of Christ. The true Christian loves and accepts you and believes we are all equal. There is no "us" or "them"- we are all God's children whether or not we were born gay or born straight. Love is love.


john   October 6th, 2010 12:13 am ET

iam a 50ish stright male. born gay i can believe that. how to handle being born gay is the most difficult part. iam not saying to try to convert to a straight life. there is an answer tobeing born gay. you will never have to change your preference


Mike 216   October 6th, 2010 12:14 am ET

Why do you care what a celebrity chef has to say this isn't news worthy


AZJLP   October 6th, 2010 12:15 am ET

The Church also rejected the books of the bible they did not like.

When did you decide to be straight?

Not all homosexuals are in promiscuous relationships like many heterosexuals.

Did you ever masturbate or have sex before marriage? No spilling seed if you are a man.

If god created the heterosexuality as perfect, what of humans that cannot conceive? Are they wasteful? Should they be allowed into relationships since they are imperfect and can not go forth and procreate?


Bryan H   October 6th, 2010 12:17 am ET

Chef Cat,

What a wonderful, poignant, touching piece.

Why would anyone CHOOSE to be homosexual? It's not a choice. However, people do have a choice when they are being ignorant, abusive, or just plain stubborn. Organized religion has proven itself over the centuries to be the fodder for misunderstanding, hatred, and turmoil.

Religion is superstition better organized. The problem we will face in the future when we finally, if ever divorce ourselves from the joke that is religion, is how to establish a moral compass and code of conduct without framing it in an exclusive way, such as a religion, cult, or fanaticism.

The Bible is a contradictory book full of lies, half-truths, and mysticism. written by MAN to control MAN. Those who claim they have been 'saved' by religion are merely acquiescent in their bondage. Think for yourself, and respect your fellow human being.

Yeah, like that'll ever happen. Stop bullying,


???   October 6th, 2010 12:17 am ET

That's a bunch of bs. Do you really think that "weak minded" people should just kill themselves??!! Really dude? So instead of helping and supporting these people u think it's ok to kill them? U do know this is what Adolf Hitler though as well right?

And even if that thing about your friends was true, I'm sure they would be ashamed to hear you say that. You're really disrespecting them.


zaitrancer   October 6th, 2010 12:19 am ET

John W: Thanks for your question, but I'm not interested in a debate or discourse with you. I used to wallow in that space, but I have taken a stand for the man that I am and am no longer in that space where I need to convince or debate that with others. I subscribe to the philosophy outlined in 1st Corinthians 13 that "when I became a man I put away childish things" and my life trajectory has me far beyond debating the origin and nature of homosexuality. How I came to be a homosexual is a matter of much debate, but after years of being obsessed with it and trying to figure it out I just accepted it for what it was and have moved on and have passed the mantle of that debate on to other people and have decided to wholeheartedly and unabashedly enjoy life to the fullest for whatever time on earth I am granted to live.


Fredrick   October 6th, 2010 12:20 am ET

Is this to persuade people that being gay is a genitic thing or that bullying is bad?

AGreed bullying is bad, but it happens to other people besides the gays. GASP! i know. IN FACT! its happend for a long time, even before everybody started turning gay. I guess our genetics have rapidly evolved in the course of 30 years. Unless 30% of America from the beginning of time has been closet homosexuals. Everything is a choice.
I completely agree that you can be born with a tendency to be more feminine and or masculine. But its your choice to act on it. Not saying im for or against homosexuality. But i definilty dont buy into the being born with it.


jojo   October 6th, 2010 12:21 am ET

ALL people who gay are sick. Those are spirits that need to be sent back to the pits of hell. God destroyed a whole nation because of homosexuality. I pray for deliverance to all gays and lesbians. God is not pleased, however He still loves unconditionally.


Michelle   October 6th, 2010 12:21 am ET

Aliyah – you're entitled to your beliefs. Just remember that's what they are – beliefs. They're not fact. And nobody's asking for your approval, or for you to say that it is okay. They just would like to stop being harassed because of your beliefs in a 2,000 year old book that's been heavily edited over and over again. And yes, it is judgmental. The discernment comes in deciding whether or not you will think for yourself and be accepting of your fellow human beings, or follow the teachings of men.


AZJLP   October 6th, 2010 12:21 am ET

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Doug   October 6th, 2010 12:22 am ET

2 points of scientific evidence supporting a biologically determined view of homosexuality, for those of you who doubt it's validity based on personal preference rather than actual data :

1. Pre-natal hormones predict post-natal homosexuality. Female fetuses exposed to higher than average amounts of male hormones are more likely to be homosexual. Same goes for male fetuses with female patterns of hormones.

2. Remember the hearing tests we all took in elementary school with the big headphones where you have to determine from which side the noise is coming from? That predicts homosexuality. There is a distinct male vs. female pattern of response, girls are simply better at the task than boys on average. Boys whose responses resemble those of girls in early elementary school are more likely to later identify themselves as homosexual. Girls whose responses resemble boys are more likely to later identify themselves as homosexual.

Just some actual, concrete, replicated, scientific findings that support the conclusion that homosexuality has a strong biological component.


???   October 6th, 2010 12:24 am ET

dude, the bible was written two thousand years ago. We can still follow it's teachings but with slight moderation. Political climates have changed. The bible also considers women second class citizens. Should we believe that, too? Is that what you believe? We've changed that belief so why not accept gay people? If you believe that god created everyone for a reason, then god clearly made gays different from you and me for a reason. And because of closed minded peope like you, they have a hard time being what god created them. Why would you hate anything God created? Yeah, I'm sure THAT will get you into heaven.


A Voice Of Reason   October 6th, 2010 12:27 am ET

Aliyah- I understand that you live your life according to the bible. HOWEVER, how can one put being gay (i.e., loving someone with all of your heart and committing yourself to them even though they happen to be of the same sex) in the same category as stealing, or lying, or murder?


Master Chief   October 6th, 2010 12:33 am ET

Nobody is born gay. There is man and there is woman. God created men and women to be together. And men and women only. You are born without wisdom. As you grow up you learn right and wrong or you stay a fool. If you are attracted to the same sex it's more than likely because you have not learned right from wrong. You are still a fool. Read God's word. Become wise. and you will be okay. if you believe that you are born gay... well one day you wont believe it. You will be proven wrong. So please. try to change your ways. I understand being gay is no different than being an alcoholic. It's still a sin no matter what. We struggle every day with sin. But, we have to clear it up. Get it out of our lives. Our we will pay for our FOOLISHNESS.


jamal   October 6th, 2010 12:34 am ET

I understand bullying is bad and an issue needed to be addressed. But why address it to only one group of people? Honestly, the gays are always being martyerd.

I dont think gay people should be treated any differently then straight people. I also dont think gay people should try to convince the world that they are absolutley right and justified in being gay, because they hate it when anybody (even if they are subtle and keep to themselves about it) disagrees with their way of life. its a double standard that i think we should be aware of.

as a christian in the U.S. i feel persecuted every single day. Because people call me bigot or bible thumper or other names. I never campaign against the gays or fight against them or even confront them. But somehow im being fought against and confronted and ridiculed for having my own set of beliefs. Just as you are entitled to your beliefs, I am entitled to mine. If i dont agree with you, dont be offended and lash out. Accept it, and respect somebody else's beliefs. Just for once. Because im tired of everyone playing the martyr.


A Voice Of Reason   October 6th, 2010 12:40 am ET

John W. – So you are against gays, gay marriage, and seemingly chefs who have an opinion that isn't about cooking. You, sir, are the one that should keep your opinions to yourself.


ken   October 6th, 2010 12:40 am ET

Stop trying to make the bullying cause one of gay folks. NOT ALL PEOPLE BEING BULLIED ARE GAY. You cast aside the "computer" nerd, robot nerd, and anybody else that might be considered "different" than the norm. I survived being a "geek" nerd in high school only because back then was before the time of colmbine and zero tolerence. You don't let kids work out their differences on their own, you keep making laws and rules that try to force everyone to like everyone. That's just not going to happen, you can't iron fist it. Those of us that are and were being bullied must learn how to work it out. Sometimes that means learning how to fight back, not only with physical violence (which does work, win a fight and it all can end, that's how it ended for me), but a nicely planned reverse revenge can also work. You idiots have cut all that off and are causing these poor kids to feel powerless enough to take thier own lives. They are not powerless if you let them. Stop the maddness stop the stupidity. Back off and let stuff gett worked out. If you don't then there will be more sad events like in the news recently. I would have been one of them if you people ran the world while was going through this.


Kirby   October 6th, 2010 12:40 am ET

First of all, thank you Cat Cora for your excellent comments. Many of us can relate to the horror that we endured early in our lives, until we were able to understand and accept that we are different from our straight friends and family.

I am a 67 year old male who suffered in silence until the age of 47 because I believed what I was taught in a baptist church family and community. I knew at the age of 5 that I was not like other boys, but didn't have a source of information and certainly no one with whom to share my thoughts and feelings.

A tip for all those who quote their bible, it's just that, YOUR bible and thoughts. All the world does not accept your ignorance and hatred. Strange how you claim to follow Jesus and yet preach hatred toward those you do not know. No one can fully understand and appreciate being BORN gay until they have experienced it.

If you believe that these young people died because of something they did, you are so wrong. They were unable to tolerate the taunting and oftimes physical abuse simply because they are gay or are thought to be gay. I ask that you pray to your god that such things happen no more.


RLaguerre   October 6th, 2010 12:42 am ET

Bravo Chef!


Rod C. Venger   October 6th, 2010 12:42 am ET

One's feelings may (or may not) be a choice, but one's actions always are.


Bill Brasky   October 6th, 2010 12:45 am ET

If kids didn't call other kids "gay", they would just use other words to make fun of each other.


George   October 6th, 2010 12:46 am ET

Some people missed the point of the article. It is not so much about being gay but about us taking care of our kids who bully and are being bullied.
This article simply talks about the personal experience of this one gay person who was bullied and her experience.
Somehow some people have chosen to attack the fact that she is gay. People seriously??
Just like some people believe that people are not born gay, I too think that people weren't born stupid and ignorant...they simply have chosen that path.


khamelion   October 6th, 2010 12:48 am ET

so...how would you KNOW you were "born gay"? people aren't sexually attracted to ANYONE until puberty


Manideepa Patnaik   October 6th, 2010 12:49 am ET

If you had fallen in deeply in love with an opposite sex when you were 17 and the break up was a disaster for you then you are not a born gay. Some fathers and some mothers who have been raised with incest and oedipus and electra complex and other abnormal sexual ab normalities usually have a way to sexually exploit their own children – irrespective of what sexual orientation they have- and they try to make them believe they are that what their parents and grand parents have made them. Unfortunately the police and child welfare departments of the countries that talk about human rights and the third world ones who pray for international cooperation for their comfort and growth do not also take these matters serious for they and their kids are fine. As a result, these things have spread and many innocent kids have been growing feeling they are gay. This is a matter of psychological conditioning that gets registered in the brain and becomes physical conditioning. Such realities need careful investigation and counselling. Fall in love again with same sex or opposite sex. You will be fine. Have friends unless you have a reason not to have them.Love, Manideepa


Jeff   October 6th, 2010 12:55 am ET

The issue is not gay or straight.

Clearly that debate will rage on and not resolved here. Born or choice is also not the issue. Against the Bible again not the issue.
People can surely disagree on all of the above.

It should be universal that Bullying is not acceptable for any reason.

I am straight, but tolerant of choice; once again not the point. Bullying is the point and that just should never be tolerated.

I like Cat as a Chef, iron or otherwise. She appears on TV to be a well rounded person. It is not important that she is gay. It is important that she is anti-hate and we should all be anti-hate.

Way to much violence and wars occur over hate. That will not end till the majority and a large one at that is anti-hate. That will not resolve the Gay/Straight debate but it will make everyone safer.


Murray   October 6th, 2010 12:56 am ET

Thank you Chef Cora. I believe part of the issue with bullying is Religion's message of hate for anyone that does not fall into their distorted view of whom God loves. If I were to believe in a higher power, I'm still questioning, He or She (perhaps both) would love all her creations, whether, 'Hetro', 'Gay', 'Black', 'White', or whatever other 'class' you fit into. We are all 'Someone' and should not forget that we each have a contribution to make to society. Rules and Laws are made by Society, and currently our Society is filled with Hate and Division. When the Political, and Religious elements start preaching Consensus then Society can move Forward.


kittyplease   October 6th, 2010 12:57 am ET

Thank you Cat .my son was also born gay .I don't know why people can't accept this but unless they walk in your or my sons shoes they need to keep quiet


jeff   October 6th, 2010 12:59 am ET

It is possible to be BORN gay. BUT it is also possible to resist that which you were born with, as far as what is in your thoughts. We are all born into a sinful world, where even inanimate things are negatively affected (i.e. tsunamis, tornadoes). In he meantime we are to fight these desires, even those we are born with. Evil takes no prisoners including the newly born (i.e. retardation, birth defects), We need to fight our thoughts from birth like scientists are fighting how to stop retardation and other birth abnormalities.


Dustin   October 6th, 2010 1:00 am ET

Thank you for your beautiful words Cat! As a gay kid growing up, life wasn't easy. I knew I was gay after falling in love with one of my older brother's friends in elementary school. I know I was born gay, but hid that part of my life out of fear until coming out at 16. Now at 27, I am happy with my life, career, and am engaged to be married to a wonderful ex-marine. We both endured the pain of growing up gay in a cruel world, but now we strive every day to create a world of honesty and kindness. A world we wish for a family someday. If it were not for courageous people like you, I may not have made it through those difficult years. I am forever grateful for your strength.


Shawn   October 6th, 2010 1:00 am ET

Born gay!! Seems pretty ridiculous. Why can't you just be gay? No cop-outs, no excuses and no blaming. Just say 'I am gay!'. It is ridiculous to say that this bully made gay. The hatred of society made me gay! That whole articule should have been titled "Can you understand why I am gay?". I am sick and tired of gay people thinking that they are special interest and should be given special circumstances due there unique values. So Cora what is your message? Poor me, I was bullied and you too can feel victimized and suceed in life. It really boils down to the parents of our next generation. Show interest in their children's life and assert wholesome values. Not to shun away their children after early adolences when parenting feels distant and out of their control. Reasserting value, teaching proactive problem solving, setting "realistic goals" for their children while interacting and resolving the negative society evokes.


khamelion   October 6th, 2010 1:05 am ET

wahn!! everyone gets bullied... grow a back bone and stand up for yourself, if they're stronger than you can take, get help. kids used to fight it out, not hold it in till they slit their wrists. this is a product of candy-ass parents teaching their kids that "violence is wrong". i agree we shouldnt be beating each other senseless but some times it's NECESSARY. some people never learn or change their ways till you hand them their effing teeth.


karen in texas   October 6th, 2010 1:07 am ET

AZJLP- You rock...had to save your comments. The sad thing is that the ones that your post is aimed at won't "get it"


Phil Grover   October 6th, 2010 1:11 am ET

@ CHEESE: 1. You are correct that man was created perfect, in His image. This includes the several males and females that Adam and Eve's children and grandchildren married, that appear out of nowhere. Evidence is overwhelming that being gay is something a person is born with, that gays diligently try to overcome when they realize it, many give up religion because God doesn't answer their constant prayers to be straight. Nowhere in the OT or NT does it say being gay (different than doing a homosexual thing as part of a ritual) is wrong.

2. You are the victim of Christian official homophobia which appeared in America less than 100 yrs ago and has sinfully mistranslated English Bibles ever since. It has prompted you to become a hypocrite. Name one single verse outside of Levit. chap 18 that you follow. If you wear clothes with more than 1 type of fiber, you are committing an abomination. Do you kill a bird, dip and live bird in it's blood, and swing it around 7 times to scatter the blood, to get rid of mildew? When is the last time you stoned a child to death for saying an angry word towards a parent, as prescribed numerous places in Leviticus? And you might talk to any Jew who knows Hebrew and get a proper translation of Lev 18:22 - "And with a statue of a male phallus [zachar], you (male) shall not have sex in the beds (plural) of a woman."

Foolish, foolish brainwashed Christian!!!


Brian   October 6th, 2010 1:18 am ET

If anyone needs to know why it is so terribly important for people to speak out about matters like these – both being gay AND being bullied – all you have to do is read the ignorant, bigoted, hateful comments here, and realize that so many of the people who posted them really don't believe they are bigoted or hateful. That's the sad part.

So how do you get through to people who act in evil ways, but don't believe they are evil? If you figure that one out, you win the prize.


Ayesh   October 6th, 2010 1:19 am ET

Well this is a good one,


Kingston   October 6th, 2010 1:19 am ET

I as well as the rest of the world were not born gay or straight. We were born asexual and did not have a sexual preference until puberty, I myself thought girls were icky until about 12. So gays are not born that way and do have a choice just as much as a child molester chooses to like children. I dont agree with bullying anyone, but I disagree with the notion that I have to accept everyone's lifestyle as is! As for the kid who killed himself, its a shame and my heart goes out the family, but I dont agree with this being called bullying. If that were the case, we should stand up for Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and the rest of the hollywood celebrities that were bullied because their sex tapes were released to the public.


Ron   October 6th, 2010 1:23 am ET

...Homosexuality has killed hundreds of Millions in the past 30 years....When they will Learn..this Licentious Behavior is not acceptable to Humans..???....When will they Ever Learn...??


fred   October 6th, 2010 1:24 am ET

Cat knows from experience and that is what makes her article so compelling. And to all those Christians out there, please pray for us poor gay people.


Tutie   October 6th, 2010 1:24 am ET

To those of you foolish enough to disbelieve one is born gay, bullying is wrong on all accounts. No child should bully another child for any reason whatsoever. No child should be bullied to the point of suicide. Thanks Cat for sharing your story.


AZJLP   October 6th, 2010 1:24 am ET

DOUG

Hypothesized. Not proven. Many medical "facts" given validity in the medical community have been proven false and proven to be slanted for certain agendas. Like the fact that negos are not as smart as whites, they can't swim, they have night blindness. Come to the NEW MILLENNIUM!

This from a medical community that gives fat people with hypertension antihypertensive meds. Why? So your heart rate never can get high enough to burn calories. So you get diabetes, CHF, CAD, and a slew of other medical problems that they can sell you meds for. Stop worshipping the golden calf!


Jake   October 6th, 2010 1:27 am ET

What a senseless and silly written article. These attention starving teens just never really get it. They want people to feel sorry for them so bad, they claim to be gay. This recieves no sympathy, so they resort to suicide as an ultimate attention grabber. Only the strong survive..... Praise God


Jeff   October 6th, 2010 1:29 am ET

Nobody is BORN gay....get real. They are just extremely confused about their sexuality. Gay people change their sexuality all the time (straight to bisexual to transsexual to who knows what). Also, look at identical twin studies where one twin is gay and the other is not. How can you say homosexuality is genetic in that situation?

I know my four little kids better NEVER bully anyone, but they will absolutely grow up being taught that homosexuality is a wrong choice, extremely abnormal behaviour, and to steer as far away from it as possible.


doc   October 6th, 2010 1:36 am ET

Little review of genetics and evolutionary biology...

Human personality and behavior are complex and are thought to depend on many genes plus environment. To explain personality variations, don't look for a single gene like the simple genetic diseases where a single mutation has been identified. Many complex diseases are thought to involve tendencies related to multiple genes and those tendencies can come out in the right environment. Hypertension is a good example. (Environment is a broad term which includes anything from hormone exposure during pregnancy to how much salt you eat to how much stress you are under).

Yes, "gayness" is disadvantageous from the simplistic evolutionary point of view of reproduction, but since multiple genes are likely involved, none of which is by itself fatal or prevents reproduction, there is no reason for the relevant genes to disappear. Gay people can even help their relatives i.e. nieces and nephews grow up so the individual genes will survive in the population, and some of those genes in certain combinations might have social advantages like producing an outgoing or creative personality for instance.


rickster   October 6th, 2010 1:39 am ET

If gays would simply cease to be gay there wouldn't be a problem now would there. These gays just need to stop being gays. Knowing they are gay makes me think of them having sex and I don't care if they are having sex or not. me knowing they might have or might think about doing it is enough. I do not see why gays cannot understand that they have to change the very fiber of their being to please me. Just stop thinking you are gay and be who I demand you be or you don't get any rights at all. Why there should be a law against you people. I have a book right here that tells me I'm right. Stop being gay. Now excuse me, the guy is here to pick up my luggage.


Ken   October 6th, 2010 1:48 am ET

Cat is writing about a very specific type of bullying... I am sure she agrees that all bullying is wrong, but is writing from her presepective. The Bible – last time I checked was written by man after 1000's of years of oral passing down and multiple other religions were used by past people. Believing that a god and his divine wisdom is guiding the planet on a master plan is a sign of a weak mind that cannot understand that everything you do is done and when your dead it's really over – no take backs, no returns, no resurrections. People that need to be guided by religion are the weak ones. Can't truly make your own decisions. Was I born gay, maybe will I die gay sure....Will I go to heaven....nope.... there is no heaven, there is no hell.... there is nothing .....have I been hedonistic...sure along with my straight friends.. have we settled down – yep... except they could get married and I can't... but that is ok....I tend to believe in evolution and think that someday down the rode they will get the whole birthing process in a incubator and the need for a host will not be there... then the whole argument of god made man and woman to procreate will go away... and the person that brought up the comment about all the land and water... um....most of the planet has some huge chunks of uninhabital area.... artic, anataric, sarha, not counting all that wet stuff that covers most of planet which incidently cann't be drank unless it's distilled... so yeah population control would be good. I think straights need to figure out that just because you can birth 'em does not mean you should....I could careless if you want to believe in god and christianity or allah or any other religion on this planet.... but if your god really had a plan do you think it was for you to hate others.....wouldn't that be the biggest joke in the world.... big old sign on the Pearly Gates ... .sorry Haters Not Allowed.... please take the down escalator Satan will be glad to entertain you for eternity..... hahahahahaha


Robby   October 6th, 2010 1:49 am ET

What's up with all of these child psychologists posting...?

As I understand it, your sex drive is like any other impluse or instinct. You don't choose to get hungry or tired or wired or silly...it just happens...straight people don't choose to get horny for their spouse or another pretty object of affection....So why would a gay person "choose" to get horny and attracted to the same sex...IT JUST HAPPENS...

And like apparently any good red-blooded American, they follow their instincts and eat, rest, play, and screw...

Why is it so frightening to believe someone is born gay? Why is it so important to deny someone's feelings and experience and seem to know them better than they do?


Ryan   October 6th, 2010 1:54 am ET

for all of you who think homosexuality is a choice and/or can be "changed", do a little research first. the American Psychological Association officially recognized all the way back in 1973 that it is not something one chooses. The British Medical Journal and the American Assocation for the Advancement of Science have both established that homosexuality stems from a fetal and neonatal biological development in the anterior hypothalamus which, in homosexual people, is about half as active as those in heterosexuals. Until you can find credible scientific evidence that proves otherwise, you have no ground to stand on in claiming it's a choice. Consequently, to argue homosexuality is immoral is to argue being of a minority is immoral. It is simply backwards to argue against gay rights and it really has become the new civil rights issue.


BMag360   October 6th, 2010 1:58 am ET

@Phil Grover ~ Actually Phil, it DOES say in the bible homosexuality is wrong. Please read Leviticus 18:22 "And you must not lie down with a male the same as you lie down with a woman. It is a detestable thing." That was a law straight from God.

In Mark 17:21-23, it lists fornication as a "wicked thing" that "defiles a man". Interesting enough, the original Greek word used in that scripture for "fornication" is "porneiai" which encompasses ANY form of sexual act OUTSIDE of a lawful marriage.

Genesis 2:24 is clear in a MAN and WOMAN becoming one flesh in marriage. Jesus repeated this same line of reasoning at Mathew 19:3-6.

Finally, both John 17:17 and 2 Timother 3:16 speak about how God's word is truth, it sets the standards, and can be used to help figure out right from wrong.

Finally Phil, if you still have a hard time understanding this, just read the account of Sodom and how God leveled the whole city (along with Gomorrah) for their vile behavior primarily including open homosexuality.


BMag360   October 6th, 2010 2:04 am ET

@Phil Oh by the way Phil.... That translation of Leviticus 18:22 is NOT used in ANY major bible translation; NIV, NWT, NAS, KJ, NSV, NSS, all of them say VERY clearly it is wrong for a man to be with a man. Period.


Tolerance   October 6th, 2010 2:11 am ET

To all you Haters, consider this: If you were BORN hetersexual then why can't someone else be BORN homosexual? As Ms. Cora pointed out one cannot change their eye color any more than their sexual orientation. Ones sexual orientation is not taught, however, hate is taught and our children are dying because that hatred is actively being nutured by ignorance. Open your eyes to the wonderful world around us. Diversity and understanding is what makes it beautiful. Hatred and intolerance is what makes it ugly. Everyone deserves to be happy, EVERYONE.


Robert   October 6th, 2010 2:11 am ET

Ok step 1: Creation: Man and woman
Ok step 2: Reproduction(population gets bigger)

Now lets try this.
Ok step 1: Creation: Man and Man
Ok step 2: Man and Man die
Ok step 3: There would would only be gay fishes being bullied,
because Man would not exist.

Dont you feel bad for the gay fishes, oh wait would not be
here for this discussion.

Come on people lets be smart, Man and woman where made to reproduce, just like the animals. There are no gay dogs, or gay lions, gay elephants, or gay birds, it does not exist. If your a woman who wants to have sex with a woman, then it is what it is. But a women is made to reproduce and she can not do this with another woman.

One thing Cora is doing right is that she is cook, as far as reproducing, she can give me a call anytime, because her female friend will never be able to fill that void in her life. Good Luck


ProudGayNewOrleans   October 6th, 2010 2:18 am ET

Excellent chef Cora, une très bonne! I have been there, lived exactly as you described. I considered ending it too, only because I was buying what the bullies were saying. I feared my family finding out, not that I was gay, but finding out that I was teased and bullied in that good ol boy Catholic school. Even had a nun asked me if I was a "pansy" because I like to hang with the girls. I feared gym class and the torments from the other boys calling me "Queenie". I dreaded that someone would yell that at me when father dropped me off or picked me up at school. I kept school away from my life as much as I could. My family knew me as outgoing and energetic, and now I was closed up and shrinking. Asked why I did not stay around and mingle after school like the others. What, are you mad? I left a note and ran off. It would end that day, but I just drove and cried and cried and cried till I was parked up some dirt road surrounded by and October sugar cane feild in the middle of no man's land. I just sat for hours. I learned later that my Dad had begged a radio talk show host to let him make a plea from me to come home over the radio on his show. I never heard it. There was no answer for me, I was still in no man's land, so I just went home. Some how, I made it thru school. There was no way I was continuing my education past high school like my father wanted me to do. I was ruined and want to be far away from bullying. I did not want to be bullied anymore. Father never understood why I would not go on with any more school. So now at 53, I know that had someone, just anyone told me then that I was normal, just like many other gay man, who knows what I could have accomplished. That was not to be. My path took me another way. I am out and gay and proud and have to full grown sons who were raised to be fair and open minded, who turned out to be hetro and will raise more fair and open minded people just like them. This will repeat and repeat in other households until the word straight will not fit anymore. You will be gay or hetro or bi, terms that will really only matter if you are setting someone up for a blind date!

Thanks Chef Cora and others who have come out against bullying. The results of being bullied are lifechanging.


Robert   October 6th, 2010 2:19 am ET

Sorry I believe you long for a personal utopia that will never exist in the real world. People need to learn that a certain skin thickness is required to survive no matter who you are. The more different from the norm you are, the thicker your skin will need to be. What is killing kids isn't the word gay. it's the idea that it is their right to be liked or loved or accepted. None of those things are anyone's right in the competitive jungle of the real world. Those things are a privilege it takes intelligence and hard work to achieve.


debra   October 6th, 2010 2:21 am ET

that was beautifully written


j   October 6th, 2010 2:23 am ET

I will never understand how a person who is not gay thinks they the authority that a person is not born gay. How the hell would they know? And any kind of bullying is wrong. People are talking about gay bullying now because it is the reason these kids killed themselves and not because we are trying to say it is against gays only.


Petra   October 6th, 2010 2:28 am ET

I wish more people would really read and understand what an earlier poster named "Doug" said. It is very true that the hormones you receive in utero can predict your sexuality later in life.

I know that I must have had too much testosterone. I am bisexual and have something called polycystic ovarian syndrome, which can also be cause by higher pre-natal testosterone levels.

I have always thought woman were beautiful.


me   October 6th, 2010 2:37 am ET

Umm I'm not saying that suicide is the best choice for these kids to have made (my heart goes out to their families) but to lie and say "it gets better" is not always helpful either. In my experience as a black lesbian, the gay community shouts about equality and acceptance, when they themselves are very divisive and discriminatory. I agree that we should teach against bullying and intolerance but gay people should also look inward as well. If you tell these kids that "it will get better" then there should be a inclusive community ready to greet them when they make that bold step out of the closet. Otherwise the gay community is no better than the bullies these kids fear and are tortured by.


Tellmenolies   October 6th, 2010 2:37 am ET

Thanks,Cat...I am a sraight woman,but I have known many gay people and they all knew they were different from early childhood...in other words born gay.


jamesm   October 6th, 2010 2:39 am ET

This article is a brilliant point on what being gay or homosexual is. Cat is a woman who has excelled in her profession.

Unfortunately human nature does not allow one to be "born gay". It is a choice. And it is a choice all people can make. I support their choice but the comments are just wrong.


HoosierRN   October 6th, 2010 2:43 am ET

What a load of crap. People are not "born" gay. It is a lifestyle choice, period. God did not intend for homosexuality. That is why there is male and female. Do you pro-gay people ever wonder why two males or two females can't procreate?

The politically correct agenda of the world today is disgusting. No wonder we have such screwed up kids.


Kroman   October 6th, 2010 2:51 am ET

Look folks, there are only 2 kinds of gays that society is willing to talk about. The ones in the closet and the ones that came out. Unfortunately, there is a 3rd kind that is neither happy in or out. These are the ones that believe that being gay is a disease that can and needs to be cured. These are the ones that needs help but can't find it because medical research in to a "cure" for being gay is "socially-incorrect". These are the same ones that jumps off the bridge or commits suicide at the end. Society is forcing them to take a pick. You are either hot or cold.


jamesm   October 6th, 2010 2:54 am ET

I am a single, caucasian male whose family is only third generation americans. What is the political correct way to call people today – I do not know. Is it gay, lesbian, black, white, asian, oriental , african american jews, jewish etc.

I just do not know anymore.

I try to think of people as good and nice or jerks and prejudice.

What I do not understand is all the pc hoopla.

I have friends that say black is OK, friends that say African American is ok,

I am just confused.


Lori   October 6th, 2010 3:10 am ET

Is religion an in-born trait? Are you born Christian (Jewish, Hindu, etc.) or is it a conscious choice that you make? Apparently, if it was your choice to be a Christian, then some people who have written in this forum must think it is OK to criticize you for that. They also think that denying you rights because you made this choice is OK in the name of 'free speech'.

The 'you aren't born gay, you coose to gay' arguement is ridiculous! If it is illegal in America to discriminate on the basis of religion – a choice, then it should clearly be illegal to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, WHETHER OR NOT it is a choice or an in-born trait!


qwerty   October 6th, 2010 3:17 am ET

I don't stand on a mountain and yell I am straight, and don't care to announce it to the world,
Why must we all know that your gay, I don't, so .... keep it to yourself, and I will keep my life private.
Stop trying to offend me with your gay crap, and I will not care or notice, stop bothering me with your need for attention, and I will not bother you, and not that I care to either,

I have better things to do with my time, than write about minding your own self within your own world, I really don't, let it go unnoticed and chit will not happen!!

Get in someone's face with something, Here, here, like look, at me look at me, screaming for attention, if people don't like you or what you are, this is the best way you get in their face and go looking for trouble,

It is the same nature as the need for being gay, you all claim the stronger survive, well bullying is this process as kids, and adults, but not agreeing with it, and TV and media make it worse by the crap they show our kids and how we don't teach them respect.
S
o ............ you all play with fire and watch fire, you all get burned, until you teach and demand respect as you give it, or you get nothing but hatred in return, calling someone a homophobe is a great way to make a enemy, and you gay gay use it as a weapon to insult straight people, you get what you sew, more of that circle of hatred, very good all of you, you managed create a world of hate ... are you all happy now!


Spoonless Eddie   October 6th, 2010 3:25 am ET

Do you think "Word 'gay' is killing kids"? How about the word "openly"? If you indulged in a practice that revolted the average individual, why on Earth would you announce it? Is this like little kids playing "look" with their food at the table?

Until I see a good answer to my question, I'm not going to have much patience for the whole "poor downtrodden homosexual" routine - in spite of the fact that it sells newspapers.


MACDONALDBANK1   October 6th, 2010 3:31 am ET

To think of Matthew Shepard choking on his own blood after being savagely beaten; virtually sanctioned by the church is evil beyond comprehension; yet is the same as boys being bullied into suicide; most likely being supported by the bullies parents’ religious cults. Bigotry and hatemongering against gays should be banned.
It is a sometimes rare occurrence to fall in Love and to hold that person in your heart and be loved in return ... it is something that should be celebrated! If it is between two guys or girls all the better. It takes even more courage to defend that LOVE!


MACDONALDBANK1   October 6th, 2010 3:33 am ET

The Right Honourable Prime Minister of Canada Jean Chretien told the Vatican that there was to be no cross erected over the Canadian Parliament buildings figuratively speaking; when the Pope demanded the Prime Minister go against gay rights. An Alberta bishop had the audacity to say that The Canadian Prime Minister would go to hell for going against the church. Such outrageous evil threats. The Right Honourable Prime Minister in return; basically told the Pope to go to Hell! The Honourable Irwin Cotler, Canadian Minister of Justice, stood for equal rights for the gay community. With reference to protecting the children: The Honourable Hedy Fry, member of the Canadian Liberal Parliament, who happens to be a doctor who delivered many babies; spoke eloquently to defend the rights of babies being born and stated that she was in fact defending their rights by speaking on behalf of equal rights for the children and youth of the future - defending their integrity and dignity.


MACDONALDBANK1   October 6th, 2010 3:33 am ET

United States is supposedly fighting for democracy but within the U.S. they treat gays like secondary citizens. Being black or being gay is just as natural. If blacks or women’s rights were cast to the masses to decide … then the majority or lunatic fringe in this case - has the advantage to decide minority rights.


MACDONALDBANK1   October 6th, 2010 3:34 am ET

Religion represents a bigger fraud than Madoff’s $50 billion ripoff. Today’s evangelical extremists are like the nazis who cast others into ovens & are actually supremacists – who practice their bogus hocus pocus – and are trying to suppress and deprive others of their happiness and their legal rights in an open and proud society.


Eric D   October 6th, 2010 3:42 am ET

WOW ! What truly amazing and beautiful words. It reminds me so very much of what Jesus said, "Above ALL else love each other" It's easy to hate and bully someone who is different, but just remember that we are ALL different in one way or another. It is difficult to reach out to those who are different than us, but it is what Jesus taught us to do, do NOT forget that for a minute. So many things in life can be answered with one simple question: When someone is being hurt or harassed or bullied, ask yourself this, "What would Jesus do if he were there seeing his child tormented?" Thank you Kat, you are a true inspiration !!


Shane   October 6th, 2010 3:52 am ET

Interesting subject.

1. The Bible does mention in the New Testament that homosexuality is a sin. I am not a homosexual, but I was certainly born with a strong desire to sin in other areas. We all struggle with different things. Most men would have sex with as many women as possible (and science would argue we are designed this way) but it is in direct conflict with God's command. Just because you are compelled toward something doesn't make it ok.

2. The world has changed since Jesus walked the earth, much like the world changed from the time of Leviticus to when Jesus was born. Jesus did away with the old law, and instituted a more radical one based around the ideas of loving God with all of yourself and loving your neighbor as yourself. Does this mean that things that were once wrong are now ok?

3. I truly feel for the bullied and those that have to struggle mightily with things they feel are out of their control. Love is patient, kind, does not envy, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self seeking, not easily angered, doesn't keep a record of wrongs, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. These are the attributes we should be showing one another whether we agree with choices or not.

4. There are rights and wrongs. Our feelings do not determine what those are. I pray that we find the peace that was promised us, and can lean on one another along the way.


Michael   October 6th, 2010 3:56 am ET

My 16 year old high-schooler is bullied by homosexuals at his school. They ridicule him for not being gay, almost to the point of violence. I guess we can't ALL be tolerant, can we?


Joe   October 6th, 2010 4:02 am ET

Cheese since you are such a god fearing individual. Let me remind you of the words of Jesus himself: Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. I believe that is the lesson to be learned here more than any other. Or, better yet: Do not judge, lest ye be judged. Just some food for thought.


Rich   October 6th, 2010 4:23 am ET

I agree that some are born with the disposition towards being gay, and that there should not be hate towards them.
Mankind's make up is such that we are going to do as we please.
That said it is also true that some are born with personalities that arre susceptable to alchoholism or chemical imbalances that cause depression. In those cases we should never be hateful towards them but rather do what is possible to help them live healthier more productive lives.
Kat's stable relationship is much more common in the lesbian community. Gay males are much more likely to live lives with much looser morals which is a major contributor to the health epidemics faced in thier community.


Mray McNamara   October 6th, 2010 4:23 am ET

Anyone out there who believes being gay is a choice- Perhaps for some, it is- just as some choose to have sex outside of marriage or judge others or etc... In my experience, I did not wake up one morning and choose to be a lesbian- rather, I considered continuing to date boys I did not love, lie to my friends and family about what was really going on inside of me and feel guilty, embarrassed and ashamed- Finally, I considered the ultimate and permanent escape. Thank God there are helpful resources available where anyone may receive LOVE and support!


SOMom   October 6th, 2010 4:24 am ET

To all these people who doubt that gay people are actually born that way, please tell me why they "choose" to live a lifestyle that often draws so much hatred and ridicule? For the vast majority of gays, they have known since they were kids that they were not the same as the straight kids. It is totally ignorant to believe that being gay is somehow due to social conditioning.


Brains   October 6th, 2010 4:39 am ET

I find it funny that CNN is plagued with articles and videos about "bullying" and "homophobia" as well as the government starting all kinds of "bullying" programs....meanwhile our President doesn't support gay marriage. Maybe Obama's intolerance is one of the reasons people think it's okay to see gay people as "bad". Obama is a Christian and Christians do not tolerate homosexuals. The government doesn't tolerate homosexuals but they expect everyone else to, how hypocritical are they?


Willow   October 6th, 2010 4:48 am ET

The hateful, hurtful comments from Christians on this forum and others like it are a huge reason why I am no longer Christian. A religion that says it is perfectly fine to discriminate against and use their beliefs as an excuse to hate others is not the religion for me.


guest123   October 6th, 2010 4:57 am ET

What an eloquent way to justify/glorify herself on of what she was "BORN" as.


ROX   October 6th, 2010 5:21 am ET

Being 53 now I just thank god that so many comments here are positive! When I was in high school if this had been possible 99% of all these comments would have been the worst kind of hate speech you can imagine. We do have a long way to go to be sure but lets take a moment to be thankfull that the world really is moving in a better direction. And to the gay community I would like to say, lets try to show ourselves in a more positive light , like ms.Cora, professional, down to earth and with some humility. All this running around half naked screaming in "pride" parades just feeds fire of hate. if you want to be treated with respect act like you have some for yourself.


LeRoy Schmitt   October 6th, 2010 5:38 am ET

Why can't you be born gay? Your born with other characteristics. Even if you aren't born gay, it's who you are. Same reason you like the color blue or prefer metal to oldies. Why should you have to cater to peoples view of right and wrong or morally just? What makes a person is their decisions. Deal with it and argue about other things.


Andrew   October 6th, 2010 5:45 am ET

Hum, I had no idea that Cat Cora was gay, go figure. She also is surprisingly articulate, and her food, well, that's sort of a given.

@Kingston, so, you're really, REALLY arguing that people choose to live a life where they're going to be in a demonized minority, taking a position contrary to established scientific evidence (such as birth order in males corresponds to likelihood of being gay, or that identical twins have much higher chances of being gay if one of them happens to be, indicating a genetic component), or that it doesn't matter if the gay brain actually is wired to find their same sex attractive?

In lieu of that you're really going to argue people choose to be gay? You "choose" to be straight? Really? You could have found guys attractive? Chances are, then, that you're not straight. But hey, why let scientific research get in the way of unjustified and unsupported opinions given your rather weak anecdotal account?


pray   October 6th, 2010 5:46 am ET

Thank you Cora! And to those who think you cannot be born Gay. Of course not, we decided at age 6 we wanted to be a member the only remaining allowed to be hated and descrimated club left. At 6 we decided we wanted to be made fun of, hated, beaten, killed, or forced into suicide. Of course we decided! Dumb, just dumb


MAhole   October 6th, 2010 5:47 am ET

Words don't hurt people, people hurt people. I was bullied by a big, 2-grades ahead, pig farmer when I was a kid. I guess the fact that I'm not gay just doesn't fit this article. Once again, it's all about the "protected" classes of people. No one cares about the plain, old, gentle folks. Nope. You've got to be homosexual so laws get passed to protect you and only you.


Hankins   October 6th, 2010 5:48 am ET

Bullying is part of life! What little little backbones our kids are going to grow up with! I have seen and am seeing how our society is getting weaker and weaker.


Mike   October 6th, 2010 5:50 am ET

People kill themselves due to mental illness, not bullying. Billions of people have been bullied for all sorts of things and did not respond by killing themselves. Only a tiny fraction of those bullied kill themselves, and treating their mental illness is what could have saved them, not "perceptions of acceptance". (Expecting to be loved by everyone is an unreasonable expectation for everyone, regardless of race, sexual orientation, etc.) LGBT'ers do a huge disservice to all of society by hijacking mental-illness to serve their own socio-political self-interests. If you want to be LGBT, go ahead with my blessing, but don't leave your footprints on the backs of the mentally-ill while having your parade.


Thomas Hanson   October 6th, 2010 5:55 am ET

I'm sure you're a nice person, but there is no such thing as being born gay. You choose to be gay. Your gender was a part of who you are as a woman before you came to this earth. It is sad that "gays" have to be bullied, but this is NOT a gay issue. I sick and tired of the media making this a gay issue. Gays are not more "special" than any other person who gets bashed, be it a young woman, young man, and elderly person, etc. Being bullied is simply wrong, keep your private life out of it.


Austin B   October 6th, 2010 6:12 am ET

Very nice article....but the words are not what need to be changed.....its the mentality...
This PC crap is whats killing us (as a group)....you can call it what you want...find anyother word more um, "PC" to replace gay...and if this cultures mentality is not changed, then that replacement term will also follow suit and become "un-politically correct"....we cant just keep changing the names and forgetting whats really important here....what a group is called has nothing to do with it if society continues to be taught and thinks of/treats, etc gays in the way they do (though, for you younger people out there--we have come a LONG, LONG way from what we were regarding gay rights, acceptance, etc even just 20 years ago.....never take it for granted.


Lisa   October 6th, 2010 6:40 am ET

Cat, I have always loved watching you on TV and I have always sensed that you are a very cool person. Reading this just made my heart break. I lost somebody very dear to me because he was gay and felt he could not come out. He died just shy of his 21st birthday. I carry his memory with me every single day of my life. Thank you for being brave and speaking out.


Kathryn   October 6th, 2010 6:51 am ET

It scares the HELL out of me that there are so many ignorant and hateful comments in the discussion. Even comments that are "nicely" asking to keep the gay "agenda" away from their schools, are scary because these are all the ADULTS that are raising the children who will be so close-minded. I'm a straight women raising two children who I plan to homeschool so that the close-minded and Christian conservatives can keep their "agenda" away from MY children.


Bill   October 6th, 2010 6:52 am ET

There has never been one person born gay. Kids gravitate to bright colors. I do beleive that bullying is wrong. I dont believe that homosexuality is right. It is a choice. Just because one feels like they might be gay does not make them gay. Just like if one feels so mad they could kill someone does not mean they are going to kill someone. Too many people let feelings run there life which is why the economy is the way it is. Everytime someone feels like they have to have a new car when theirs is fine and so on.


AYKM   October 6th, 2010 7:02 am ET

Thank you Cat Cora for your heartfelt words and your deeds. Bullying is horrible and definitly should be considered a crime. Kids are going through enough without with being bullied. Between all the changes going on in their bodies and dealing with school,adults should be more aware for the signs of being bullied. The schools need to automatically expel anyone who bullies. No exceptions.Sensitivity classes should be required for the bully as well as the parents at their own expense and maybe restitution of some kind. I know sometimes the problem is catching the bullys in action. But if a child comes to an adult and claims he or she is being bullied an investigation is required not just words. Where there is smoke there is usually fire.


maddawg   October 6th, 2010 7:02 am ET

HUGE LOLs @ phil grover for calling someone else a 'foolish, foolish, brainwashed christian"

ummm....wasn't it YOU phil that believes in a man-made god and the lemming cult that worships it?

and you have the nerve to call other people foolish?

first off, you must be able to think for yourself; using all your mind, common sense and logic......gods represent none of these.

gods represent fear, lack of will to think for one-self, mightier-than-thou attitudes and many other lemming like qualities that don't require any thought on a followers part........

notice i said follower.....not leader.

now go...follow you lemming...but do understand that when you inform people you have no mind of your own or ability to grasp the worlds wonders without attributing it to some man-made supreme entity, you've informed them how gullible and brainwashed YOU really are.


Scout   October 6th, 2010 7:08 am ET

This is the most eloquent message on the subject. I was bullied as a child and I am now an adult. I can now see that the person bullying is a lost soul in the world as much as the person being bullied. Please everyone listen to the above message...hang in there!


maddawg   October 6th, 2010 7:10 am ET

you aren't born gay.....it isn't a genetic thing.

it's a decision....period! (whether you made it knowingly or it was subconscious and you don't even recognize it)

simple fact is.....anatomy is anatomy.

girls have one part and boys have another....FOR ONE REASON ONLY! to procreate....not to share with a person of the same sex.

human evolution did not get to this point by allowing such an abomination of the use of the human anatomy.

a society of a species that reverts to going against the true nature of it's anatomy will make itself extinct.

so, i say again...with the utmost of confidence and sureness.....a person is not born gay....(they don't even have a concept of what sex they are when they're born let alone knowing what gay is...are you lemmings really so dumb?)


Chas   October 6th, 2010 7:15 am ET

Born gay? Show me the gene(s) for homosexuality; otherwise, just admit it's a product of social environment and get over it-there's nothing wrong with being a homosexual by choice. Actively defend yourselves; don't be timid and say "It's not my fault, I was born this way." That's politically retrograde and weak.

As for bullying: well, it IS a bully culture we're living in. How can anyone expect kids NOT to be bullies when the parents are bullies, the teachers and administrators are bullies, the media are bullies, the corporations are bullies, and the police, government, and military are bullies. In spite of all their talk about democracy, equal rights, tolerance, etc., Americans ultimately subscribe to the age-old ruling class belief that 'might makes right;' this is perfectly in line with their religion-worship of the almighty dollar.


Steve   October 6th, 2010 7:30 am ET

Judging by some of the comments posted here....we, as people, still have a long way to go to becoming Human Beings.


W. Stephen   October 6th, 2010 7:31 am ET

To all of you who think the idea that one is "born gay" is ridiculous, you might like to know that the weight of scientific and psychological evidence is completely against you on this. Of course, you are all of the ilk that believes that your imagined "common sense" trumps the experts and the evidence in all things. This is what is truly "ridiculous."


steph   October 6th, 2010 7:37 am ET

Very admirable.


Rebelwolf625   October 6th, 2010 7:40 am ET

As a straight woman who watched several high school friends go through the Am I straight/Am I gay internal struggle, I find the thought that being gay is a choice offensive on their behalf. NONE of them wanted to be that way. ALL of them would rather have been straight like everyone else. But they didn't have that choice.


marcus   October 6th, 2010 7:42 am ET

Great article Chef Cat Cora.

Keep it up, we need more folks such as yourself to speak out.

thanks


zootsuit711   October 6th, 2010 7:44 am ET

I was bullied and suicidal in high school. I was out before I knew what 'out' meant! I was a popular tomboy in Jr High and a social outcast 'dyke' in High School – and hadn't changed much between the two schools. I am nearly 50 years old now and look back often, wondering how I survived high school. There were no role-models like Cat, no one was fighting for LGBT rights or equality. There were no gay/lesbian couples on TV or in movies – and if so, one partner would have to die or turn straight by the end of the movie. There were no happy endings for gays – that was the message in the 70's – loud and clear.

Had there been a ray of hope, maybe I wouldn't have attempted suicide twice, been hospitalized, suffer from depression and OCD, have an eating disorder ... all attributed to not fitting in and being bullied at school.


Flo   October 6th, 2010 8:03 am ET

The burden for anyone with a God conscious is that bullying is wrong. Parents must protect their children (kids are goats) and to do this in its fullness sense the parents have to realize that they have help in the matter. You may say from where? I happen to believe that through a submission to the All Knowing, All Powerful and Sovereign God through Jesus Christ by the help of the Holy Spirit we as parents can give our best protection to our children. Note here there is a Trinity of Help. God had us all in his mind before time and he did not make a mistake in what he made so being born gay is irrelevant in that we are all, after the fall of man, born and shaped in iniquity (sin) but we do not have to stay in that condition because of the redemptive power of Jesus Christ. How do I know? The sin that so easily beset me was was just that and the condition of my life changed because of a simple choice to believe Jesus Christ died for me not to be bound in that way. Our children need to be told who they are from God perspective so they can live above this evil world (not just the people).

Now, Ms. Cora not sure what you believe or how you even believe it but I pray that you would try the One and Only True and Living God because I believe if you meet him you will change and you will become unchangeable to be an instrument of change for others to change truly. I am just speaking to your introductory statements you made about yourself.

If you believe the bible read this...
Gen. 1:26-27 created, Gen. 2:7 formed man, Gen. 2:22 fashioned woman Gen. 3 the fall.


stephane guidry   October 6th, 2010 9:14 am ET

thank you cat for sharing..i am a resident of new orleans, la. my family consists of only 2 children and we are both gay, i remember growing up in a very small local town outside of new orleans, my brother being shunned because of his weight and his submissive behaviors towards others... i spoke out for him on several occasions and also defended him in physical altercations. i am glad that he grew up with no inhibitions and decided to come out at the age of 28..although it was more of a struggle for him than i, he did it, he showed no signs of being gay only i did. i wanted it be known about myself and at 18 i blew down the doors my brother on the other hand waited to complete college. he is very masculine and is not your typical homosexual male..and what i am getting at is that i stood by his side in pride so that tragedy would not strike him down.. i thank you for your advocacy against the bullying and wish to join you if you need additional support to creative a strong front,. god bless you and walk in peace...stephane....thank you very much....


Cheese   October 6th, 2010 9:35 am ET

Phil Grover-

There is a difference in the Bible between the moral law of God (that is the 10 commandments) that still applies and the ceremonial law (such as the Leviticus verses you are referring to) which were used as a way to prepare the world for a Savior who came and died for our sins.

Once Jesus came, the ceremonial laws of the OT were no longer in effect as saving faith became not about "doing" anything but about believing what God has done through Christ by his own grace. They are still useful historical and teaching tools, but through Christ, nothing more needs or can be done by man. It is by faith you are saved, not works.

The ceremonial laws were a faith-building tool use by OT believers to prepare for the coming savior.


Aliyah   October 6th, 2010 10:34 am ET

@willa You wrote
"CHRIST DOES NOT HATE— EVER! He loved and accepted all "
Willa you clearly have never read the bible..Jesus says over and over again Judgemental things. Did you know Jesus talkd of hell more than anyone in the bible? DId you know that Jesus said he did not come to bring peace to the world??
He said in Matthew 10 34 as well as luke

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it


Aliyah   October 6th, 2010 10:43 am ET

@Michelle...Its not my approval you need. Thats above my pay grade.
As far as the bible being "the teaching of men" That is your belief. And of course your are entitled to them but they are not mine.
Heavily edited? Have you seen the dead sea scrolls? Insert cricket noise here>

And like I said..there is nothing wrong with being judgemental. That is a modern day misnomer. Ppl that dont know the bible often say that its not ok to judge. A cursory look into the bible will easily contradict this falsehood.The bible only sets up perimators on judgement.


Marcy G   October 6th, 2010 11:11 am ET

That is a very sensitive article and one that should be shared with all he kids in the world. Kids need to be taught that bullying is a cowardly, hateful behavior.


A Reversal   October 6th, 2010 11:48 am ET

People are not born a religion. There is no human genome that maps what faith a person believes. Religion is a behavior, a behavior that like the hateful school ground bully or the adult leaving hateful comments on an internet article, that is taught. It's apparent from these comments that the wrong lessons have been taught to many. So many people claiming to be religious cling to incongruous lines of a book in order to justify their hate and miss the bigger lesson....God is love.


Indie   October 6th, 2010 12:28 pm ET

Cat, you could not have said it any better. You have all my respect sister!

And for those of you that vehemently oppose when someone says they were 'born gay', how would you know? You need to be either gay, or have expertise in gender studies, or be God to get into someone's head to make a statement like that. Why do I get a feeling that it was probably hammered into your head at church that it is a choice to be gay just like you've been told that it is an abomination and that homosexuals will go to hell? I know everyone is entitled to one's own opinion, but seriously, give it a break! No one is asking you to be gay or questioning your sexuality and there is no reason why you should go about passing judgement on people and tell them what they really are, like you know them better than they know themselves..ha!


Alan   October 6th, 2010 2:15 pm ET

Whether you are born gay or not is irrelevant. Everyone is born with the ability to do wrong (sin) and every human in the history of time has followed through with doing wrong (sinning.) Everyone is born selfish and we learn over time, hopefully, to be more considerate of others. Should we all start saying it is OK to be selfish because we are born that way? Whether you are born gay or not, homosexuality is still wrong.


Chris Cognac   October 6th, 2010 3:25 pm ET

Wow,what a well written and powerful message! Great job Cat...I only got to meet you once at FN, but you were very nice. I am impressed even more with you now, you are giving hope to those who need it most.

chris cognac...


Iowagal   October 6th, 2010 3:43 pm ET

First off my God loves me no matter if I am white, black, fat, skinny, poor, gay or straight. Second off Cat Cora wasnt not only speaking about gay teens she was speaking for ALL kids who are bullied. Phoebe Prince was bullied in school and she was a young beautiful straight girl. People dont wake up one day and say " oh I think that I will now be gay" they are born that way. Childern in school learn to be bullies by listening to their parents and other close minded, hateful people in the world. Gay people are not trying to "make" you gay; they just want to live their lives. All of you bible thumping people need to look in your own backyard before you start jumping all over gay people. Remember God said love your neighbor!


Mike   October 6th, 2010 4:05 pm ET

I think it's great that Cat is bringing light to this issue. Our society has been pushing farther and father ahead during the last century, but someone the notion of homosexuality has caused a huge portion of the population to take a step back years, decades, or maybe even centuries. The USA is supposed to be about inclusiveness, equality, and individuality, but lately, for people like myself of the LGBT community, it is about how we are different, how we can't marry, how we would be bad parents, how we are somehow a mistake by our own judgment. People forget all to quickly why many of the original settlers came to this country–to escape persecution–and here we are, doing it to our fellow man, kids, and neighbors. People who can't see that are blind.


Pat   October 7th, 2010 5:34 am ET

I guess everyone that is different from the "norm" is not born that way. People choose to have downs syndrome, black hair, be short, be ugly, be attracted to other races, like sardines, etc.
I wish everyone would be normal and just choose to be like me. that would be so much easier.


Kevin McCoy   October 7th, 2010 9:03 am ET

Well said, I hope people are listening.


Ralph   October 7th, 2010 9:52 am ET

Thank you Cat Cora for your honesty. Bullying isn't only leveled at homosexuals, immature kids can be cruel, bullies aren't born bullies but a learned way of treating others. When I see TV shows that push this type behavior it infuriates me. TV shows that cater to kids and the very young adults use bullying to draw big ratings. Simon Cowell produces several talent shows that draws mostly kids and the younger viewer. Cowell auditions thousands of hopeful kids for his American Idol and America's Got Talent show (many with talent) but intentionally chooses people with no talent horrible voices/acts so he and his side kick Piers Morgan will have someone to make fun of. These two men degrade, humiliate, talk down to and make fun of these singers/acts for ratings. Kids love it, these two men are their heroes. Immature kids will mimic their heroes and do the same thing to their peers. Kids think it's fun to humiliate others like their heroes do. When rich grown men can make millions off of kids for making fun and degrading others that says a lot about our society. To me, bullying others will never stop until we stop the source that contributes to little immature bullies.


Anika   October 7th, 2010 10:12 am ET

Very succinct and inspiring article, though I'm a little perturbed by some of the comments here. I wonder why people seem to believe that anyone would voluntarily choose to live a life of persecution, alienation, and emotional turmoil. I also don't understand why some people don't see the distinction between the involuntary act of being gay and the voluntary act of contracting HIV through unprotected sex. Being gay is no more a conscious choice than being born male or female.

I appreciate the note of hope and optimism this article ends on. Interracial marriage, a woman's right to vote, and the concept of a black president were once ideas that could warrant little more than derision and ridicule. Look how far we can go as a society when compassion and mutual respect trumps small-mindedness.


David   October 7th, 2010 1:09 pm ET

Cat, thank you for your message! As a gay man (born gay) I was bullied in school as well, but when I was growing up the word gay wasn't used. It was devastating as a child, but luckily I made it through. I'm not ashamed anymore. I'm proud of who I am!!!

Anyone who is bullied, regardless of the reason, needs to know that it'll get better and you need to talk to people you can trust to help you through a trying time in your life.

Love you Cat!!!


Eric D   October 8th, 2010 4:02 am ET

To all of you who say that being gay is a choice: At what point in your life did you CHOOSE to be heterosexual ? If being gay is a choice then being straight must also be a choice. So tell me, was it junior high when you sat down and went thru the options and CHOSE to be straight? Of course not, you know very well that you were straight as long as you can remember. So what makes you think it's any different with gays? You were born straight and we were born gay.


Name*Michele Serkez   October 8th, 2010 9:45 am ET

Werds of wisdom from a very wise womyn. I too, a child of the 60's born in NY, lived most of my adolescent years in South Florida, felt the lonliness and effects of the "bully". It does get better, it does. Hang in there kids, I have been in a sweet loving relationship for the last 14 years with the womyn of my dreams. Just remember, high school isn't forever! In the real werld you will pick and choose your peers, and you will surround yourself with love and peace and with those two ingredients, you will make harmony.


Lara   October 8th, 2010 7:33 pm ET

THANK YOU!!! I couldn't have said it better myself!!


AZJLP   October 8th, 2010 7:46 pm ET

ALYIAH.....umm.....I see that you don't get it.


sadenned   October 9th, 2010 12:38 am ET

I was bullied in grade 3 by my teacher and she taught the others how to marginalize me.................it got better when I went to a new school board. It changed, but it is hard for me to change.

Adults bully all day long everywhere on the planet. That needs to be addressed as well. When will we get that?


juliette   October 9th, 2010 10:36 pm ET

Yes, Sadenned, sadly enough some teachers do bully, not only
students but also other colleagues. As a student I would stand up
to bullies and even defend others that were being bullied. As an adult
then I came to a place where my native language was not the spoken
language of this town, although I was there to teach my native
language, I did experience being bully by some of my colleagues .
Being a strong person, it did not affect me the least, but I found it
sad that this kind of behaviors were being demonstrated in some
schools and was unnoticed.I believe that we can make this world a better place one day at the time by sheer example. Like I wrote before, it really starts at home .


Elizabeth Serrano   October 9th, 2010 11:14 pm ET

Nobody is born gay and I'm a living proof of that. For 45 years I grow up believing I was born gay. Never wanted to be with a man, always like womens.Until 2 years ago God himself show me I was living a lie. For those that maybe think somebody brainwash my mind, let me tell you nobody did, God himself change my live. Only Jesus can set you free and show you the true. I encourage every body to go to the bible and read ROMANS 1:24-32. The true will set you free. And believe me now that I'm free it does'nt mean that I don't like them anymore, the true is now I love them more than ever in the love of Jesus, because He love the sinners but not the sin, because He is Holy. I pray for all gays, that one day they open their eyes like I did and live the life that God always wanted for all of us.


Beau   October 12th, 2010 9:15 pm ET

For those that say that your not born gay, might want to do some research. Yes, it is true that scientists cannot definitively prove it, but they do agree that it is most likely. Many tests have been done that show that the areas of the brain that have to deal with sexuality are developed as we grow in the womb, and determine our sexuality. It's not a chose. If it was, NO ONE would be Gay. Think of all the kids that have died this month because of being bullied? You think they wanted to be tortured and teased? Come on! I tried to be straight. I did everything I could to convince myself I was. But in the end, I had to admit the truth to myself. I am who I am. I am as God made me. The Bible was a book written millenia ago, and of the laws in it, only 10 were written in stone. 10 laws that are eternal. All the others were laws written for their time, some of which we consider immoral now. They were written for a society that wasn't ready for the truth. As time goes on, we understand more, and discard the laws that no longer apply. But we keep the fundamental laws, the 10 Commandments, cause those are the ones that matter and were meant to be eternal. The rest were not. The world needs to know peace, for everyone.


K. Briarwood   October 13th, 2010 12:55 pm ET

It sickens me that in the 21st Century we still deal with ignorance and discrimination. If the religious right is so righteous, then why don't they embrace us instead of hate us? I agree with Melissa Etheridge when she says that we need to look at ourselves and what we are teaching our kids. Bullying needs to stop. It is a modern day witch hunt and it is cruel and uncalled for. Those who are the bullies should be severely punished no matter how old, boy or girl.

I endured bullying and want gay kids to know that as a 49 yr. old gay woman, it gets better and there is help. Find someone you can trust, and talk to them. Please do not become another statistic.


AZJLP   October 15th, 2010 12:54 pm ET

Whether you think someone is born gay or not, no one has a right to be cruel. If you believe your religion teaches otherwise, hate has no place. Did Jesus hate? No. Did Jesus think being mean and nasty was appropriate? No. If someone wants to talk to you or you want to talk to them about these things talk to someone who is open to discussion. Otherwise you are no better than the radical muslims who killed on 9/11, just on a smaller scale. God teaches love and tolerance. Only God has the right to judge. Live your live in the way you think it is in synch with what God teaches. He alone will judge.


John Wilkes Booth   October 18th, 2010 11:37 am ET

WHY IS THIS NEWS?

News Flash – I am straight – along with 90% of the rest of the population. Is that news, too?

PUH-LEEASE, who cares?


Wrighteous   October 18th, 2010 4:01 pm ET

So Cat Cora likes women...who cares? Why can't people just be quiet about their sexual orientation? Instead, the women go out of their way to look like men and the men go out of their way to look like women. What kind of example are they setting for these poor children who are confused enough as it is? These kids end up adopting certain affectations and mannerisms that make them easy targets because they just don't know how to behave. Boys wearing lip gloss and girls wearing crew cuts. Most of the images these young people see are over the top.

These kids need help, but not the kind that the majority of gays are sending...be out, be flamboyant, be proud, be dead...


1955   October 20th, 2010 2:45 pm ET

Like Steve from a previous post I am also 55 years old and I could not agree more with him. You respect a person for who they are and not what they are. People with any moral compass recognize the value of all humans without regard to one's race, gender, religion or sexual orientation. As the saying goes, when one is made aware that someone is gay if the response is more than who cares, that person is someone who is in hiding.


Cheryl Goldstein   October 22nd, 2010 2:09 pm ET

Cat Cora:

I'm so sorry that you were not able to share with your parents the fact that you were gay and thus had no support. My daughter came out to me when she was in her teens, she was afraid I wouldn't love her anymore. Imagine that! I assured my daughter that my love for her was based on her, not her sexual preference. While I am straight, I support and love those who are not, because it should be about the person, not the sexual preference.

My daughter is happily living with her significant other, a girl that I love just like my own daughter. I fully support people being allowed to be what and who they are. Many people believe that they must "judge" others. And I blame religion for that and a general lack of self – esteem for that.

I'm proud of you Ms. Cora. For having the intestinal fortitude to stand up for what you believe and who you are. Parents need to support their homosexual children. If they can't, then they don't need to have them. Love is not conditional, especially where children are concerned.

Perhaps if the parents would have been there for their children, those children would still be alive.


Joanne Santangelo   October 24th, 2010 9:23 am ET

Thank you Cat well written. And yes, BORN GAY!
And to the imbecils who cannot understand this, it is a beautiful day today, just go outside and talk to some trees, instead of writing your thoughts down.

Pride


AZJLP   October 24th, 2010 12:49 pm ET

the article is not about being gay. It's not the focus. She is talking about how she was bullied. WHEN PEOPLE THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT. The addition of her talking about her family and being gay was probably for her a way to let scared gay kids know, it's ok. She did wonderfully in life in spite of this world and it's prejudices. And 90% are not straight.


JD   October 24th, 2010 3:18 pm ET

Over the years, I've developed a theory as to why some people are so vicious towards gays. It comes down to the human need to be the same as everyone else; to be accepted and liked; to be part of the herd.

There are two types of these ignorant, brutal thugs. Some are vicious because they were born gay but have tried to suppress it. They hate the people who accept who they were born to be and retaliate by bullying, name-calling, etc. You see them every day. They are the ministers, politicians, etc. who publically wail about gays and their lifestyle and later are found out to be gay or bi. The more someone howls about gays the more likely they are closeted gays trying to fit in with what they perceive to be a straight world. This theory also works with the people who carry on about the sanctity of marriage and later are found to be having affairs.

Then, there are the straights who feel that everyone should be just like them. If everyone is straight, then it must be the correct way to be. There is no room for differences in thought or actions. These are the people who are also intolerant towards other religions, races, ethnicities, etc. They try to hide behind God and say it is His will; however, God is love and mercy and these bullies are in for a huge shock when they face Him. They'll be heading to the hot, uncomfortable place.


Brian   October 24th, 2010 5:12 pm ET

Great article, although I would have liked to have seen more emphasis on bullying in general. Being bullied, no matter what the reason, is just as devastating. But then again, Ms Cora is speaking to what she knows, so full points for that.


Ben   October 24th, 2010 8:45 pm ET

I love it how the so-called Christian posters claim that their religion counsels humility while parading their supposed moral virtues. They condemn the "homosexual lifestyle" in response to an article about bullying. We're talking about kids who committed suicide because bullies drove them to it. And then they bemoan their alleged persecution and tell the rest of us to find our moral compasses.

I've yet to hear of a single instance of a kid shooting himself for being a Christian in America. I've yet to tell a Christian that he/she is going to hell or that his/her lifestyle is inherently second class. And I wouldn't dream of doing so in the context of an article about kids who killed themselves because some malicious little creeps destroyed them psychologically.

To all the people saying, "Why is this all about homosexuals? Straight kids get bullied too." It helps to read the article before commenting:

"Gay kids are not the only ones being bullied but the word "gay" is killing our kids. Bullying is killing our kids. Being different is killing our kids and the kids who are bullying are dying inside. We have to save our kids whether they are they are bullied or they are bullying. They are all in pain.

I want to talk to the bullied kids of the world. Tell them to hang on, it will get better. Know that an Iron Chef, actors, musicians, artists and all successful people have probably been bullied in their life. And the best part of your life is yet to come. Whatever it takes to live, do it!"


AZJLP   October 25th, 2010 4:53 pm ET

All the bullying she talked about was not for being gay.


Sherry Buckner   October 26th, 2010 2:11 pm ET

Thanks for reminding us of something so true...that the target of the hatred is not the issue...the issue is hate itself.
Your personal story and your authenticity are moving.
Reading this makes me want to know more about your organization.


GregwithQuestions   October 27th, 2010 9:15 am ET

Bullying is horrible for whatever the reasons. While we should not hate someone based on their predisposition towards any particular behavior, I do believe that the homosexual lifestyle is maladaptive to a healthy society. If we accept the argument that there is a strong biological component–which their likely is–then why aren't we trying to find out what it is so we can prevent it? Even if we move the moral arguments aside, the pain, anguish, and heartbreak experienced by gay folks seems more than enough to want to prevent it from happening in the first place. I am not an advocate for criminalizing the behavior, but it seems that we should accept people's humanity first, and work to prevent what is a terrible consequence of biology gone bad.


Mike   October 27th, 2010 4:03 pm ET

Really...I just love how people in the 21st century speak for God like somehow they are his professional representation! Do all "Christians" believe that hatred and bullying are acceptable behaviors? The God of my understanding is a loving God – not a God who picks and chooses who he condemns. Stop using his name like you went to high school with him! I guess being a hypocrite is a learned behavior? Let me know if you require the definition of the word hypocrite – I'd be more than happy to provide it for you.


peacebridge   October 27th, 2010 10:50 pm ET

Why on earth am i supposed to live a "lifestyle"? i am really attempting to live a LIFE. thank you Chef Cora; I love to cook too.


Sam   October 30th, 2010 5:56 pm ET

I enjoy Cat but the bible calls homosexuality a sin. It doesn't matter if someone is born lusting for the same sex. God make us to be subject to temptation. I have a teacher friend who has teenage gitls try to attract him. They are naturally alluring to him, but he would never go there, Biologically speaking in terms of physical construction homosexual relations iis less natural than that, and I think as wrong.

Havinng said this I do believe that other sins are not any less desired by God than homosexuality. We are all burdened with temptations and desires that we must turn away from. Including bullying and hatred. We CAN hate the sin and love the sinner.


Amy   October 31st, 2010 12:36 am ET

Bravo Cat Cora!!! Couldn't have said it better myself. I'm from Alabama and the southern berating and bullying can be much more difficult for teens, especially in rural areas. I now live in Maryland and people are much more open to things that were considered unacceptable down south. Hopefully one day we will all be viewed as human equals to one another and let's leave the judging up to God!


Amy   October 31st, 2010 12:39 am ET

By the way, i just watched you kick butt on Iron Chef bourbon battle! You are an excellent role model for women! You are so beautiful and talented and I see you are a dedicated humanitarian as well!


AZJLP   October 31st, 2010 10:48 am ET

Sam, the bible was written by man hundreds of years after being passed down in oral tradition. Man puts in what man wants. Plus, it talks about man not supposed to be lying down with another man as he would a woman...so no talk about women not being allowed to...lesbians are ok then???


Danielle   November 17th, 2010 10:33 am ET

Thank you so much i was one of those teens who was bullied for being gay. Your words are very touching and i hope many teens read this and see they do have a reason to live.


sierra   December 16th, 2010 6:36 pm ET

i've been bullied sence the begining of my school years. when i first started school i wore dresses and was cute, shy, and sweet but when i got bullyed i started to change. i started wearing jeans and sweat shirts next i wore t-shirts and dark blue jeans and now i'm a gothic hippie and no i never do drugs. i just like dark colors the peace sign and helping people even if they don't like me. i do my very best til' i make their life better but taking on bullying makes it hard. i'm also a lesbian so being a 16 year old girl get tougher. i protect my friends as much as i can even if i had to use my own hands. what would make my life easier is for bulling to stop. so stop bulling in schools so life for teens doesn't go bad cause teens are the future of the world.
stop hate cause hate only brings war lets end the wars now.


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