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December 11, 2009

Dr. Drew: Are You A Sex Addict?

Posted: 01:49 PM ET

Dr. Drew Pinsky is host of VH-1's "Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew" and is a frequent guest on Larry King Live. In this LKL Web Exclusive, Dr. Drew talks about Sex Addiction - how to diagnose it, deal with it, and eventually beat it.

When I was approached to create a program about Sex Addiction I knew that this would be new territory for much of the television audience. I also understood that this disorder had become truly commonplace in this country and the stories of the suffering of the afflicted needed to be told.

Not only that, but it is time that we begin to take account of the lack of health in our interpersonal lives, and how profoundly childhood trauma has come to bear on our relationships and choices.

According to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health a “conservative estimate of those who could meet the criteria for sexual addiction and compulsivity is that of about 3 – 5% of the United States population.” It is unfortunately too easy to make light of this disorder and my hope is by showing the profound pain that underpins the problem this disorder can begin to be taken seriously.

Sex Addiction is really no different than any other addictive process. There is a loss of control over the behaviors that do not stop, even when the individual wishes they would. And there are mounting consequences as the result of the behavior, yet it still does not abate. Consequences meaning untoward effects upon important areas of a person’s life – relationships, health, work or school; financial or legal status. And very frequently the sex addict can identify traumatic experiences in childhood such as physical abuse, emotional abuse or neglect and most often sexual abuse. There is evidence that some of the same brain systems involved in chemical addiction are responsible for the distortions of drive that manifest in sexual addiction.

I am frequently asked, “How do you know if you are a sex addict?” Dr. Patrick Carnes was one of first professionals to work with sexually addicted people and he designed the Sex Addiction Screening Test (SAST). The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health offers screening tests for this condition.  CLICK HERE to find out more.

These screening tests are not conclusive but they are suggestive and you may want to seek formal evaluation by a professional trained in this area of you are concerned that you meet criteria for this problem. The treatment for sexual addiction can be very arduous. Dr Carnes believes that it can take generally 3-5 years to completely treat this disorder. It takes a great deal of work, often as you see from the Sex Rehab program, requiring looking at material that is quite painful.

If you believe you may be involved with a Sex Addict you, too, will have to be prepared to do a good deal of work if that relationship is going to survive. We generally tell couples not make any impulsive decisions when sex addiction emerges as a problem.

We often find that when couples commit to one another and if both partners are willing to participate in treatment, the outcome can be surprisingly good. If you are the partner of a sex addict, you must remember that there is a reason you were attracted to this person. And whatever those issues might be they will carry over to your next relationship as well.

The media is replete with stories about sexual transgressions that have many of us shaking our heads. When many of these cases are examined it is often the case that Sex Addiction is a prominent feature. Here once again it is very easy for the public to decry the transgressions as merely the excesses of wealth and power but the fact is that it is often the behavior of someone who is not well.

Yes, indeed, the behavior may have continued had the individual not been caught. But the same can be said of any addiction. After all it is usually the family who brings in a drug addict once their addiction comes to light. And when the family fails to successfully intervene it is other consequences that bring the drug addict to treatment. Whether it is the courts because of legal consequences, or the medical system because the addict falls physically ill from their using, there is always something that brings the addiction out of the shadows. The very same is true of sexual addiction.

Finally I want to point out how courageous the individuals were whom viewers are following on VH1’s Sex Rehab. Many of them are doing very well in their recovery and I want to extend my deepest gratitude to them for allowing the viewing public to learn from their experiences. It was a privilege to serve them in the initial phases of their treatment. They serve as in inspiration to us all.

Filed under: Dr. Drew • LKL Web Exclusive • Sex


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PinkFloyd   December 11th, 2009 5:36 pm ET

What man isn't! Would love to meet a woman sex-addict!


tk   December 11th, 2009 5:40 pm ET

I used to think Dr. Drew was great back when he was doing Loveline. But it's sick how he takes people in weakened mental states and gets them to sign off on having their meltdowns broadcasted for the whole world to see, making millions and branding himself in the process. You should be ashamed Mr. Drew.


Rick McDaniel   December 11th, 2009 5:44 pm ET

This is one that human males come by naturally, and attempting to define it as an affliction, will be a waste of time.

Males do not behave in the same way as females, in this area.

Why do you think the Islamists want to cover up and hide away women? Because the males have zero control.


lennymu   December 11th, 2009 5:50 pm ET

Another weak example of Pop-Psychology.
I we try hard enough we will find an excuse for everyone's poor behavior and no one will have to be responsible for their actions.
Thanks Dr. Drew.


MF   December 11th, 2009 5:50 pm ET

What the does Islam have to do with the topic Rick McDaniel?


j.l.cannnon   December 11th, 2009 5:54 pm ET

I am married but separated from my husband who is a sex addict and the flippancy by which it is addressed is incredibly painful. People assume that it means that someone is just a cheater, but it is so much more. My daughters and I had to leave the toxic situation and are now are at risk of being homeless. There are no Christmas presents under our tree this year, and my heart breaks over this. Sex addiction is a disease as bad as alcoholism, and in ways worse because people don't take it seriously. If my husband had physically abused me, I could receive help, but because of this, there is no help for my daughters and I. Every time there is another 'expose' on Tiger Woods and a mistress, it is a wrenching experience for me, because it makes me relive the pain of my own reality.


Pachecosita   December 11th, 2009 5:55 pm ET

The thing is:
Sex feels awesome if you enjoy it! so how can you not wanna have more of it if it feels good. I think the measure is to make sure you can perform in the rest of the life area: love, family, friends, home, work.


don   December 11th, 2009 5:59 pm ET

who decided that sex addiction is a bad thing?


me   December 11th, 2009 5:59 pm ET

some like it – more than others –

there are no problems.


lorne   December 11th, 2009 6:02 pm ET

Rick,

Just guessing but I think that you are about 30 years old, single, and a fundamental Christian. S*E*X* is dirty right Rick?


StlMelz   December 11th, 2009 6:07 pm ET

I comepletely disagree, Rick. Billions of human males contorl themselves every day. Having a close friend who is a sex addict, I can vouch for what Dr. Drew is saying in his article. It is a very different scenario and the average male sex drive.


Not Rick   December 11th, 2009 6:09 pm ET

Islamists? That's not a term for anything. The term is MUSLIM.

Honestly, using an ignorant term devalues the rest of your argument


Ivan Stewart   December 11th, 2009 6:09 pm ET

I am a sex addict currently in treatment. I can understand those who are skeptical, but my own experience tells me it is an addiction that will not be overcome without treatment. Without treatment, powerlessness and disregard for consequences will worsen. Sex is such an integral part of who we are as humans, this is part of the reason it is so difficult to overcome. Understanding and living a sexually healthy life is not easy. Our society has perverted sexuality to such a degree that the perversion has become normalized. People are unable to perceive the damage done, even when it's part of their lives. This is where comments such as...."men are just that way" come from; men are not just that way. Society over the years has conditioned men to think it's okay.."I just love sex and having sex with lots of different women, and that's ok, because that's the way men are". Wrong. These men who cheat (myself included) are looking for something that will not be satisfied by a woman's open legs. These men are searching for significance, comfort, security, respect, and they're trying to fill that empty void with sex.

My hope is that sex addiction does become more mainstream and more widely accepted as a real problem that needs treatment. Only then can we start of remove some of the associated shame and move more addicts out of the shadows. Thank you Dr. Drew for working to raise awareness.


D   December 11th, 2009 6:11 pm ET

I agree somewhat, I feel we are human and we all have sexual needs (male or female) the difference is MORALS. I am female. have a high sex drive, but I don't go around getting physical with every body or anybody who attracts me outside of my relationship. That being said, alot of people are not in a relationship where they can be honest with their partner about what they really want.....


Seth Strickland   December 11th, 2009 6:12 pm ET

I believe the massaging of one's own private parts in moderation while in the comforts of one's home is not unhealthy, but can actually rejuvenate the spirits and self-esteem. Of course, one should be of legal age before they engage in this sort of event.


Crystal Crawford   December 11th, 2009 6:12 pm ET

Everyone is capable of control. The excuse that men are just unable to be faithful is both ignorant and biased. While it serves as a great way to forgive yourself for transgressions, because you can say its embedded in your nature, it also suggests you are a weaker sex who does not have the strength or intellect of a woman. Neither is correct. Men are just as capable as women. Women are also just as sexually tempted as men as well, but because soceity has not chosen to forgive us for just "being boys," we have learned to practice self control and restraint.


Peggy   December 11th, 2009 6:13 pm ET

I applaud Dr. Drew's efforts to shine the lilght on this very difficult addiction. I also applaud the addicts who are so courageous as to fight this in the public eye. Tiger Woods should take note.


joey   December 11th, 2009 6:15 pm ET

Rick that's an ignorant perspective. It's not a male vs female addiction and is usually spawned by childhood abuse. Addiction is something you can't control even though you are aware of the adverse effects it can have on your life. It is triggered by stress and most who suffer from it are somewhat powerless when at their most vulnerable.


The Weatherman   December 11th, 2009 6:18 pm ET

A psychiatrist from Minnesota showed addiction to gambling was chemically the same in the brain as addiction to drugs. Part of the treatment regiment involved a branch chain amino acid called NAC. This is also done with drug abusers. This means behavior patterns are addictive just like drugs. Mr. McDaniel should broaden his horizons and get an education so others will not suffer from shallow opinions. At the molecular level we our behaviour can be predictable. Read a book called the "Molecules of Emotion" for a primer.


Marc   December 11th, 2009 6:18 pm ET

This is not a male/female distinction. This is an addiction. I am currently in an SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) 12-step recovery program. There are women suffering as well. All the individual stories carry tremendous pain and suffering, both for the individuals and their permanent partners (if they have one). This is not some random guy who just wants to be a gigolo. This disease represents a serious problem and is not to be taken lightly. I have the most respect for the men and women in my group who have, many for the first time, gotten the courage to face their addiction and try to recover. The TV program may have more "pretty" people than otherwise, but the fact remains that their problems are real and the consequences are devastating to their lives


Tom in San Diego   December 11th, 2009 6:19 pm ET

Thank you Dr. Drew for enlightening the public of this issue and please give my thanks to the individuals being helped on your program.

My experience is that male or female, the road to getting ones health back is the high road, it takes courage and encouragement from others to realize you have great and wonderful value as a human being...

Thank you again Dr. and his pioneering volunteers...


Elizabeth   December 11th, 2009 6:20 pm ET

Diminishing a serious disorder that–like all addictions–affects not only the addicted person but also his or her family or friends, sometimes across generations, to a mere trifle based on one's sex is not only misinformed, it is also demeaning and infantilizing to men and women alike.

Not to mention, nowhere in this article was there any mention of Islam, so a gendered and embarrassingly ignorant comment is quite frankly a moot point when discussed in the context of sexual addiction. Oy vey.

I applaud Dr. Drew for his willingness to shed some light on what is often a misunderstood and under-discussed problem. It is relatively recently becoming visible to a wide audience outside the medical community, and his efforts are a positive contribution. With visibility comes acceptability, and with acceptability comes those in increasing numbers who will acknowledge they have a problem and seek healing. I also applaud those in recovery who are willing to speak openly, and who help others with their openness. Bravo!


KansasRefugee   December 11th, 2009 6:21 pm ET

Mr. McDaniel

You are correct that some men have zero control. I know from personal experience that many men do, and some have excellent control. I am deliberately blending the definition of "control" in the midst of the sex act with the definition of "control" you use, which seems to mean men cannot stop themselves from having sex because I think (partly from personal experience as a woman) that the two concepts are highly correlated.

A man who has zero control ain't no fun to have sex with. As women acquire more self-sufficiency in our rapidly less sexist and stereotyped economy, loser men with zero control will no longer be able to get women partners lawfully (they will have to resort to prostitution, rape, violence, etc). They will not be able to reproduce and will cease to exist on this planet (I hope).

See ya!


Jeff   December 11th, 2009 6:24 pm ET

I agree with Rick.
Males have a normal evolutionary (biological) drive to copulate with as many females as possible to propagate their genes. Society has tried to suppress this natural drive for centuries (e.g. Islamists covering up the women) and pretend that this is not normal male behavior. But often society's norms don't aply to the alpha males who make their own rules. They revert back to their base biological drives. Just ask Tiger Woods.

If we're talking about multiple partners and cheating, it's probably just a normal preprogrammed male response to a natural biological drive. But if we're talking about masterbating five times a day, it's an addiction.


Dean   December 11th, 2009 6:24 pm ET

typically thoughtless comment by Rick. I assume Rick means that because sex is a natural drive- as opposed to something artificial like modern pharmaceuticals- then there is no expression of this drive that can be pathological or addictive. That's just not true. There are many perversions of this drive that follow all the rules of any other addiction. It is an easy punch line and easier to dismiss than to take seriously, but it isn't funny and it needs serious attention. Especially in an age of porn on demand and loosened sexual mores. The world around us seems bent on fanning the flames and making sexual addiction an epidemic.


birdy   December 11th, 2009 6:27 pm ET

i'm tired of "medical conditions" being used to dismiss inappropriate behavior. kleptomaniacs aren't medically treated.. they get jail sentences. cheaters shouldn't be left off the hook either.


RodBrombacher   December 11th, 2009 6:28 pm ET

Everyone is an addict according to Dr.Drew and substance abuse counselors. That is why,if you are an alcoholic, do not tell your doctor. He can tell if you are currently using. But if you break your leg, NEVER tell them your are a recovering addict/alcoholic. You will be treated like a child, given motrin and sent home. If you tell a fib, you get morphine, so you can actually deal with the pain as the "set" your leg.
If you ever tell a Dr. you have an addiction problem, 90% will never ever prescribe any controlled substance, even if you have terminal cancer. That is the reality. Obviously, if you lie to yourself and do this to "get high" you will be back down in the bowels of the hell of addiction again...and may not make it out, this time.


brenda   December 11th, 2009 6:31 pm ET

wow... reading these ignorant comments makes me even more grateful for dr. drew than i was before! it must be so hard for him working in a field where there is so much misunderstanding. do any of you people who believe that sex addiction isn't real understand that sex temporarily alters brain chemistry and gives a sense of euphoria, (although some people experience different kinds of feelings)? it is that change in the brain chemistry that the sex addict seeks to achieve over and over. it is not about the act of sex or sexual gratification (sex addicts do not get much, if any, sexual gratification from sex). sex is just a means to obtaining that sense of euphoria. i wish ignorant people would get out of the way and let the brilliant minds out there do their work.


Ace   December 11th, 2009 6:34 pm ET

So what is the solution? Repression? I am sick of all these people who go on about how sex is dirty if your not a married heterosexual. Or go on about how there is something wrong with you just because you dont intend on getting married and raising some rugrats in some bland suburb!


Peter Brown   December 11th, 2009 6:34 pm ET

People need to know that there is a very active 12 Step world for sex addiction. I have attended many meetings and have no doubt that it is the right place for me. However, having also attended AA meetings, I have found that SA meetings are a little less focused because there are so many different varieties of sex addiction. Sometimes it's hard to see what you have in common with another group member.
I have to also admit that despite many attempts at treatment my addiction has not responded. Now I am in a lonely old age having screwed up numerous potentially rewarding relationships, but with all the same addictive feelings and behaviors continuing to block my peace of mind and heart.


Rhoda Destles   December 11th, 2009 6:37 pm ET

I disagree. I think women have just as much sexuality as males and many suffer from the same disorders such as sex addiction. I wonder if the disorder is related to hormone levels, because I think I was a sex addict but now can control myself so much better now that I have gone through menopause. Unfortunately, I have this horrible history to live with for the rest of my life.


Rich   December 11th, 2009 6:37 pm ET

Men are always more sexual than women. Gay men have it easier since they basically can walk away from a quickie because their same sex partner understands. Straight men have to romance a woman.
Oh yeah, and all those sexual enhancement drugs have not helped.
Any man who has an erection for 4 or more hours has to do something!


Rich   December 11th, 2009 6:38 pm ET

Sexual enhancment drugs don't help


A   December 11th, 2009 6:38 pm ET

I am married to an sex addict and all that has been told by Ivan Stewart is 100% true.
Sex addiction is not about sex and many people have absolutely no idea about it ! This is about many issues that start in the early childhood – it can be abuse, parents divorce, feeling of being abbandoned as a child. My husband and I are going trough a therapy to cope with that problem, that by now affected deeply not only him but me. I wish people in the media would be more educated about all connected to sa. This is clearly not just about having lots of sex. An example of Tiger is so typical of it. A man who had everything: fame, money, great family has been risking it all. If you really think this was all because sex with all those coctail waitresses was so unbelievable you are so wrong.... I am very attractive, educated woman. We have had really good sexual relationship in our marriage and it still happened to me. Why ? Because it is really not about sex.
Thank you Dr Drew for making people aware what is the sex addiction.


michael   December 11th, 2009 6:39 pm ET

Dr. Drew is a real doctor who helps many young people on his radio show, and tries to help drug addicts on Sober House. But, TV is about ratings, and many of the the people on Sex Addicts are not what they appear to be.
Such is the case of Amber Smith. She was a drug addict and needed very serious intervention. But, she's not a sex addict. In fact on the Sober House show she stated several times she went without sex for years except in order to get her drugs. She only has sex to get a fix of drugs. But, she's on sex rehab why? She's hot!
Just because everyone else is attracted to her does not make her a sex addict – if she feels compelled to sleep with everyone who comes on to her than Dr Drew should put her on a show called 'Low Self Esteem House'. Because other than drugs that's her biggest problem.


Doreen   December 11th, 2009 6:41 pm ET

Hello, I have been the victim of a sex addict. I am very ashamed of my behavior and still to this day I am overwhelmed with the daily shame and remorse I still suffer from. All the while I was under this man's command I knew in my heart it was wrong – But felt that if I could possibly stay and help him I might feel better about myself. I even convinced myself that I enjoyed it. Although I was humiliated beyond belief daily. I was a 25 yr. professional woman – allowed myself to be duped into the self-delusion of his lies that he "loved me". All the while he was using the same line on countless womwen- lying to us all- potentially exposing me to deadly sexually transmitted diseases and to this day he feels no guilt. I am just a burden to him – a delay in his continuing his endeavor to hook more and more victims. I also spent my life savings to support him. I am almost overcome with my own remorse. How does anyone move on from this total nightmare – that we feel is own fault? How can we possibly accept that we were so foolish and move on to some of our own happiness and fulfillment? How can we EVER trust anyone again? I have spent coutless hours both during the day and laying awake at night wondering how I could have been taken so completely by someone who has no regard to anyone's feelings. How should I beging to start ove Dr. Drew?


MANDI   December 11th, 2009 6:42 pm ET

YOU'VE LOOKED IN THE WRONG PLACES I'M WOMAN AND A SEX ADDICT BUT IM MARRIED TO A GUY THAT IS NOT NOT NOT. SO WHAT DO U DO ABOUT THAT DR.DREW ESSPECIALLY WHEN U LOVE THE GUY. I'D HAVE SEX 24/7 IF I COULD STILL WALK AFTER.


Thomas   December 11th, 2009 6:43 pm ET

Sex addiction is a bad thing????????


Melody   December 11th, 2009 6:44 pm ET

About first post: I don't even see where gender is brought up in the article, so I'm not sure what that has to do with anything but this is my reply: Wow! You really think that's true? So does that mean that we should enforce a law in the US that women must wear a burqa for their own protection from men who don't have an affliction but are just "being men"? With that kind of logic you can easily excuse forcible rape as being natural behavior. Sorry, I don't buy it.

The fact is that men are different from women in fewer ways than you would think. In fact, most people don't realize they're doing it, but from birth on most people treat children differently depending on their gender. These subtle differences in their first experiences with the world create differences in behaviour. Sure there is more to it than that, but the more society accepts and allows genders to be thought of as different, the more different they are going to be.


Bill   December 11th, 2009 6:44 pm ET

Sex addiction is so real for me. No matter what the female looks like my mind always finds a way to find them attractive. I have slept with so many women and it's never enough, I'm 40yrs old never married, because I can't be faithful to any 1 woman. As soon as I get into a relationship with a woman and I meet their friends,sisters,or other relatives I'll start flirting and hitting on them all. I'm so doomed in life because of my addiction and it's so sad, because I just can't get enough. 😦


Ed   December 11th, 2009 6:45 pm ET

I am a sex addict, and know the struggles of trying to stop viewing porn and the shame of the addiction. I thank Dr. Drew for his show. I watch it every week. Unless you know the death you feel in side or the hurt and shame from the addiction you should shut up. This is very real and destroys peoples life. My wife has went though a lot as I struggle to work on self control. I would not wish this on anyone else. It goes on much longer and deep in a person before that person comes to even have a clue that they're an addict and many never come to understand. Instead they go through life cheating on their wives and husbands and degrading themselves through the images they see in their porn. Sadly, many see this as normal, but it's not. Ever know a man or a woman who always seemed to cheat in every relationship they were in? They maybe a sex addict. Sex addiction doesn't mean they get off on sex, but that they deal with their issues through sex.


HopeAndHealing   December 11th, 2009 6:45 pm ET

Sexual addiction is not having a high sex drive; it is an inability to control sexual thoughts and behaviors despite the potential consequences to the addict, their families, and their friends. These sexual thoughts and behaviors include looking at pornography, compulsive masturbation, infidelity, etc. to the point of basically living a double life in order to hide the behaviors. Think of Tiger Woods: everything in the world to lose yet it appears he could not stop. He led the prefect double life until it came crashing in around him. Despite the many failed promises to themselves and attempts to change, sex addicts are unable to stop these behaviors by themselves; they return to the behaviors over and over again, despite the consequences.

I actually disagree with the statistic given in the article that sexual addiction affects 3-5% of the US population. It is much, much higher than that, and not only in the US, but worldwide. I don't believe an estimate of 30-40% would be too high. And it's only getting worse as we expose our children to more and more sexually provocative images in the media and in society, as we blur the lines of what's acceptable and what's not.

Please click on the link in the article to take the test. Here are just some of the questions:
Have you ever thought you needed help for your sexual behavior or thinking?
That you have no self control?
Have you ever tried to stop or limit doing what you felt was wrong in your sexual behavior?
Do you resort to sex to escape, relieve anxiety, or because you can't cope?
Do you feel guilt, remorse or depression afterward?
Does your sexual behavior interfere with relations with your spouse?
Do you keep going from one “relationship” or lover to another?
Do you feel the “right relationship” would help you stop lusting, masturbating, or being so promiscuous?
Has your effectiveness or concentration decreased as sex has become more compulsive?
Do you lose time from work for it?
Do you want to get away from the sex partner as soon as possible after the act?
Although your spouse is sexually compatible, do you still masturbate or have sex with others?

Help is available through Sexaholics Anonymous or Sex Addicts Anonymous. Good luck.


Melody   December 11th, 2009 6:45 pm ET

Correction, I was replying to Rick, whom I thought was the first post, thanks.


Peter North   December 11th, 2009 6:47 pm ET

I, a prominent Republican Washington DC tax lawyer, am a sex addict. I started mass consuming men's magazines, then porn, as it came of age in the video cassette (then DVD and online) age of the 80's. I am in a long term marriage with 2 kids and a lovely wife, yet I have 'crossed the line' by sleeping with other women including escorts for hire. Some weeks, I have fetishes for Asians, other weeks Ebony ladies. The bottom line is my video and internet porn addiction feeds my insatiable lust to have sex with all these women, and I just can't get enough! I cannot stop! I am a prime candidate for help.


Vincent   December 11th, 2009 6:50 pm ET

This is not an addiction issue as much as it is an issue for folks looking for signficance, purpose and esteem. Our society is taking away personal responsibility by saying all of our deviances are the result of some disorder, disease or trauma. What a joke.


thedude   December 11th, 2009 6:50 pm ET

He and Dr. Phil deserve each other.


Doreen   December 11th, 2009 6:52 pm ET

I feel compassion for my abuer as one of the afflicted – but is ther suppost and compassion for the those of us who were abused and are currently home hiding in shame? Is ther a support group for us too?


recovering   December 11th, 2009 6:53 pm ET

Many valid points are raised here, as well as the expression of a lot of ignorance. The biggest issue with sex addiction IS that it involves such an important facet of human emotion as opposed to the introduction of an external addiction such as drugs or alcohol. How can you say it is just a guy being a guy when he knowingly, and uncontrollably risks his family, work, health etc.


Lisa   December 11th, 2009 6:53 pm ET

I was skeptical about the "Sex Rehab" show although I've been a fan of Dr. Drew's for years. Now that I'm watching it, I see the real pain these people go through and my heart goes out to them. God bless Dr. Drew for getting these people into treatment and taking such good care of them. He is NOT exploiting them, he is providing treatment and allowing them to give something back to others by raising awareness of the issue.


Freddy   December 11th, 2009 6:54 pm ET

Is Tiger Woods ?


Anon   December 11th, 2009 6:56 pm ET

Just BEAT IT!!!


Lala   December 11th, 2009 6:59 pm ET

Hmmm.. Sex addiction? Give me a break! just a way for weak people with no morals and values to blame someone else for their problems!

When will, we, as a society, start taking responsibility for our actions instead of trying to blame our pasts? Get over it.. quit being a victim!!!!

All we now need is the ADA to consider this a disability, send these people disability checks? The druggies, the drunks and the whores can all sit on their butts all day while we work hard... To help pay for their "disabilities" .


not you   December 11th, 2009 6:59 pm ET

Those of you who think that sexual addiction as a "mind over matter" issue are just wrong. Consider yourself lucky if you're not an addict or if you don't have one in your life. Addicts are not hedonistic, but have a life of pain. Sex is not enjoyable to the addict in the classic sense. A little more patience and a little less rush to judgement is what is needed here. Say what you will about Dr. Drew, but he knows what he is talking about.


Dodie ~ CA   December 11th, 2009 7:04 pm ET

Thank you Larry King for bring this issue to the forefront! Many people struggle their entire lives with this problem and are devastated by the reactions of others and the effects on their lives.

Sex triggers specific neurochemicals in the brain such as Dopamine, acetylcholine, nitric oxide, serotonin and norepinephrine. The enhanced libido is controlled by dopamine. The arousal phase is controlled by acetylcholine and nitric oxide. And the orgasm or ejaculation is controlled by serotonin and norepinephrine neurotransmitters. .

Possibly another approach along with CBT and/or EMDR would be engaging in other activities that also promote these specific neurotransmitters. Addiction of any type is devastating to the individual due to the loss of other areas in their life and homeostasis.


chris   December 11th, 2009 7:09 pm ET

While I understand the rationale behind diagnosing sex addiction and providing therapy, I think it's completely out of line for you to say, "It is often the behavior of someone who is not well." To desire sex is one of the most fundamental aspects of being human, and if someone finds that desire spiraling out of control, then by all means help them, but don't write it off as some sort of mental illness. Of course sex and power go together, and no amount of wishful thinking is going to separate the two. Compulsively cheating on your wife may be WRONG, but it is not unnatural. It is a natural inclination that we keep in check with hard work and willpower. So don't go around making people feel "unwell" or mentally ill for desiring sex. What male isn't addicted to sex at some level? It would be equally troubling if you were not.


Lou Stools   December 11th, 2009 7:11 pm ET

You can smoke yourself to death, drink yourself to death and eat yourself to death, but you can't screw yourself to death. Guess which one is the most difficult to try.

There's no such thing as "sex addiction". The whole thing was dreamed up by doctors as an excuse for the perpetrators and a money pump for them. There's a lot more dough in treating an "addiction" than bandaging the skull of a guy who gets crowned with a frying pan for cheating on his wife.


Lori   December 11th, 2009 7:15 pm ET

It's not like you're drunks or junkies who can never drink or get high again.
Sex and food addicts still have sex and eat.
As far as hard core addiction goes, you sex freaks get off the easiest... in more ways than one.


Dr. Rob   December 11th, 2009 7:15 pm ET

I have a Ph.D. in human sexuality.

There is LOTS of dispute over whether or not there is such a thing as sex addiction.

If a behavior causes problems in your life (not getting to work, losing sleep, not showing or taking care of yourself or your life, etc.) there IS a problem.

But if you and your life are falling apart due to too much: sex (with one or five or 365 people a year), or too much TV, or answering stupid blogs that no one will read or care about–our writings here are of NO USE to anyone!!!! (this is just writing and posting as self-pleasuring–aka masturbation!!)-or too much eating, or doing crossword puzzles–there is a problem.

Sex is made to be SO dirty in this culture. Why??? Sex, like eating and breathing, is a normal behavior.

Perhaps polyamory and open marriages (or–the abolition of marriage-see the book "About Marriage" by George Bernard Shaw, Nobel prize winning writing and intellectual.) should be the way to be.

Why get married??? Most American men and women–and most animal species (about 98%) have sex outside of a primary relationship.

So the big deal is??? what????

Have a problem?
Work on it?

Having lots of fun and safe sex with consenting adults??
Why is that a problem if you are coping fine with life, work, friends, paying bills and having a smile on all your faces??

Comments from the audience? And no, God doesn't watch what you do, or care, or exist. Tell me facts, not your crazy invisible man superstitions-Santa and God both watch you equally closely.


DCB   December 11th, 2009 7:18 pm ET

There is a difference between 1) dating promiscuously and 2) maintaining a sexually adventurous secret life while also pretending to be faithful to a partner. Whatever your take on morals/ethics, it seems self-evident that the damage to oneself and others is usually more pronounced in the second situation.

And while almost all of us are capable of control, some have to work harder at it than others. Differences are part of being human.

Like anything pleasurable, the pursuit of sex can become an addiction if pursued without regard for one's well-being or that of others. In this it is no different from drugs, booze, etc. All of these pursuits attempt to make up for a lack in some other area. Learn to love yourself, and you start winning the battle.


jeremy   December 11th, 2009 7:22 pm ET

rick, what about the christianityists?


pinky finger   December 11th, 2009 7:24 pm ET

Maybe Tiger should take the test ?


Spanky   December 11th, 2009 7:33 pm ET

Spank it!


ko   December 11th, 2009 7:33 pm ET

In this modern age of ours it is oh so convenient to invent a disease state to absolve individuals of taking personal responsibility for their actions. Whatever happened to self discipline and self control?


jgrant746   December 11th, 2009 7:34 pm ET

What a deal. If only the dag gone link to the symptoms actually took you someplace. Wow!


Junla   December 11th, 2009 7:35 pm ET

What part of addiction don't some people in this forum understand?

There is a difference between faculties of someone who smokes one cigarette per day and one who smokes 8 packs per day

There is a difference between the faculties of someone who loves wine and drinks a glass per day from someone who downs several bottles per day

There is a difference between the facultiessomeone who takes two tylenols to easy a headache from someone who survival depends on drugs

Go read the literature and be informed.


John G. Messing   December 11th, 2009 7:35 pm ET

Pinsky is completely wrong.

Plato wrote that sexual compulsion ["the fourth kind of madness"] is the greatest boon that could accrue to a human being [Phaedrus 250d], and the central message of the hippies' bible, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", was an admonition to seek sexual experience as often as possible, whenever possible, and by any means possible.

The core of every religion is "mysticism", and the key to success is increased libido. That's the original reason the Moslems and the Mormons instituted polygamy. That's the reason Native American religions used Peyote and Psilocybe. And that's what yoga is about, to name a few examples.

Self-actualized persons ["mystics"], have always been the creative core from which civilization evolves. "2001, A Space Oddysey", has it that the process began in prehistoric times. A few modern examples are Dante, da Vinci, Goethe, Shakespeare, Newton, Wordsworth, Joyce, and even others who are alive today.

Pinsky may be useful for keeping the working class in it's place, and having them show up for work, but for anything meaningful, for the pursuit of knowledge, Pinsky should not be influencing undeveloped people who might otherwise better themselves. It were the Pinskyites who had Socrates put to death.


look around   December 11th, 2009 7:37 pm ET

With the exception of those who have actually been diagnosed as sex-addicts, we'd all do well to remove the word "I" from our comments, unless it is to say "I don't understand". The "I like sex, but I have self control" argument holds no value for anyone.

Now, the homework assignment: let's go look up the term "Islamist", and write an essay about its relevance to sex addiction.


Onehunglow   December 11th, 2009 7:39 pm ET

Males want sex much more than females because nature, god or whatever you believe in had to put the drive to procreate into one of the sexes or the species would die....plain and simple.

For males, sex is like food........needed often and if enough isn't available at home , go out for dinner or get some take-out.

Ladies, it isn't rocket science how to keep a man eating at home.....you just don't want to accept that men have a different level of need about this and are unwilling to care for your man in this way to the level in which he should be cared for.

I live by two simple rules in my marriage when it comes to this:

1. Just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.
2. It doesn't matter where or how you get your appetite, just always eat at home.

Everything else isn't important. Simple.


Joel   December 11th, 2009 7:48 pm ET

I've run into two women in my life that fit the description. My first wife used sex as acceptance by men (many of them). After I divorced her, I had an affair with a younger married girl who was a classic nymphomaniac. Sex any time, anywhere, as often as possible. Luckily, I survived both of them and have been in a monogamous marriage for 22 years and counting.


scott   December 11th, 2009 7:49 pm ET

a Sex addict show will also be great for ratings!!!! Why not have hot people being featured!!


Lori   December 11th, 2009 7:52 pm ET

I wonder if Tiger Woods is a sex addict.


member   December 11th, 2009 7:59 pm ET

This Dr. Drew is suspicious to me. I think he is making a bundle off this sex stuff, acting like he is some expert.


David   December 11th, 2009 7:59 pm ET

It is interesting that this issue has come up. I recently read a report that staggered me with the numbers involved. If we are to believe the report , the huge profits that online Internet Sex sites are making and those sites own reports of the much larger number of hits on their sites where they claim people surf the sites but do not buy anything,these imply that the number of 3% is incredibly low. Perhaps it is correct for those who meet some clinical, pathological definition of a severe addiction, but the number of people who routinely engage in sexual behavior where the criterion applied is that they are attempting to hide the behavior from others and would be ashamed if they were caught, is much, much larger! I read a report that suggested almost 60% of men would meet this last criterion and at some stage in their lives have had trouble controlling it. I don't know how that number was reached, but it would not surprise me. Interestingly, what that suggests is that more than 50% of the people on this blog site who are condemning those who have a sexual addiction, are probably hypocrites.


richard wolfe   December 11th, 2009 8:00 pm ET

are you kidding? Just like "flu" used to be called "the grip", sexual addiction used to be called "indulgence", which many hope to achieve, wrecking their famiies and their lives in the process. Who among us could resist the available opportunities with terrific women who are attracted to power? Makes a man feel like he really is the stud he fantasizes about. Until it breaks open. Fortunately their wives no longer stand up to the public humiliation of supporting the guy with zipper failure.


stanton cummings   December 11th, 2009 8:00 pm ET

WOW I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THERE WERE SO MANY COLD SEXLESS PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!!!!!! THEY DON'T LIKE SEX SO NO ONE ELSE SHOULD!!!!!!!! WHAT A SHAME THAT SOME OF THESE COLD SEXLESS PEOPLE ARE MAKING POLICY THAT THE REST OF US SHOULD ABIDE BY!!!!!!!


member   December 11th, 2009 8:03 pm ET

This so called Dr. Drew is making a bundle peddling his sex advice. He is suspicious to me.


Chris   December 11th, 2009 8:12 pm ET

I'm also a recovering sex addict, and I'm appalled by the level of ignorance and sarcasm displayed in some of these comments. Many people like to enjoy a drink responsibly, but if this column was about alchoholism, I bet there would be plenty less comments making light of it or saying that recovering alchoholics are trying to duck responsibility. But since this deals with sex, then it can only be about good times, and a naughty lack of self control, right?

To those who think sex addiction is fun or natural – I have an incurable STD, I've broken many hearts and broken up marriages including my own, I've been fired from my job, my professional reputation is destroyed, I'm alienated from my family, my finances are destroyed, and worst of all, I've completely screwed up the lives of my two small sons. Does that sound like fun to you?

To those who think that seeking treatment is an attempt to duck responsibility – I am completely responsible for all the pain and devestation I have caused to others, and there are alot of them. That is the reason I am in treatment, trying to change my life.

If you think you might be a sex addict, get help – it is out there, closer than you think. If you are not, then please have the decency to shut up.


janet   December 11th, 2009 8:19 pm ET

In rebuttal to Rick McDaniel, It is in some cases true that the fact that males often have lower self control than women in the matters of the bedroom, however your statement does not bear the fact that many sex addicts are women, and that many sex addicts are prostitutes and use that to fill the "need" that their addiction creates. Yes Muslims do cover their women for the protection of them, but for the rest of the world it's a different story, and women are almost more likely to become addicts than men, and that is regardless of what addiction it is.Female brains are biologically different than Male brains, the connection between the left and right Hemispheres of female brains is more developed and more easily "traversed" than the male brains. this is why in many cases of mental illness it is more prevalent in women than it is men, and addiction can be classified as a mental illness/issue. So yes male sexual addiction may be talked about more, but males may not be the majority of cases.


Jonathan   December 11th, 2009 8:24 pm ET

I'll be the first to admit to you that I love sex, but I am also what is called a "sexaholic". I always knew there was something wrong with me. The funny part is I have not had sex with anyone since early 2005, I have bought only one hooker in my life (in 1995, and I regret doing it), and haven't been in a strip club intentionally since 1997. What was my problem? PORN! Although I can admit I have been fairly limited on what I like category-wise with porn, I was still an addict that let it corrupt my mind just a little bit too much. I have tried desperately to pull away from watching porn before, only to be lured back to it somehow, much like drug addicts are. I have even stepped outside the box into a place that could've ruined me forever.
I've always known what I wanted when it came to a relationship, and knew if I was ever in a relationship with a girl, I would never even acknowledge another girl in a sexual sense, however I realized I was adding the disclaimer "...unless she (the girl I'm with) wants to be adventurous and wants to bring another girl into the bed one night." I got torn a new one when I told this to someone in my group, and it dawned on me that I never even imagined that before when in a relationship.
I found myself feeling devistated that I would have to give up all my fantasies...until I realized that I never HAD any of them, I never WANTED any of them, and unless I pay for it, I will never HAVE any of them. Most guys have a better chance of winning Powerball then being in a threesome or orgy that they didn't pay for.
I let so many relationship sour because I made sex the forefront, but I feel it was because an unseen force knew I was always smart enough to stay faithful to one person, and wouldn't even allow for a proper relationship between me and another girl to take off. Believe me, it happens, but I have fought off that demon.
I am nothing like the guy who finally entered a recovery group back in May of this year. I am still far from being one who would wait until marriage, but I am working towards a possible relationship with a girl I really like who is the same age as me (35), but knowing if it works out, we may want a child, and that we are kind of getting old, so I know that I would love to make love to this girl once I really get to know her, but we would save any attempts to conceive a child until after marriage. If she was, maybe, ten years younger, maybe it would be different, but for now....
This is very tenative, and as I've said, time will tell what happens, but I know what I want, and I am working towards it.
For the record I have yet to even mention anything sexual to her. Not that I haven't thought anything, but I know where my boundaries are now.


birdy   December 11th, 2009 8:29 pm ET

EVERYONE has some sort of problem according to therapists and their actions are through no fault of their own. give me a break. i don't hear non-smokers giving smokers a break even though nicotine is more addictive than heroine and one "can't help it".

as a matter of fact, a lot of non-smokers absolutely will not date a smoker. smokers often date each other. something is only a problem if what you do doesn't match the morals and ethics of one's surroundings. i have a gf who is a non-drinker and she thinks her husband's weekend drinking is a problem but no one else thinks he's an alcoholic. then why did she date him to begin with only to try tto change him now? people shouldl just stick to their own kind. find someone who works with our lives with same morals and values. if someone can't be faithful, then they should date others with the same views instead of tricking a monogamous type of person and hurting them..

sexual addiction is not an excuse for hurting others.


Rich   December 11th, 2009 8:30 pm ET

All men are sex addicts. Straight men have a harder time because they have to "romance" the other gender. Gay men have it easy because they understand one nite stands.
By they way in either case is it no wonder that men are addicts, considering they can buy a sexual enhancement drug. What does one do with an erection that lasts more than 4 hours?
Buy some KY?


Tracker   December 11th, 2009 8:30 pm ET

My comment: Articles written, overwhelmingly suggest medical reasons for Compulsive sexual behavior I disagree. One merely needs to do a little research : Read for example “Who’s Been Sleeping In Your Head ? The Secret world of sexual Fantasies.” This is a extensive collection of what and how people think about sex. It is when fantasies translate to reality , which they frequently do if the person is physically attractive and has the means to make it happen.


Laura   December 11th, 2009 8:39 pm ET

I am a 28 year old female and have come to grips with being a sex addict. No matter how sound a relationship I am in, I need more and get it on the side. I find the thrill of the encounter and the pleasure of the sex overwhelms my logical thought process and if I am not seeking a new encounter, I am covering my tracks on a recent one....this addiction takes it toll on your time.

Yes, I wish I could stop. I have tried and even sought counselling but ended up sleeping with my counsellor. I would like to find more women like me and perhaps start a support group.


JackRabbit75   December 11th, 2009 8:44 pm ET

Randy –

Being a recovering sex addict I can assure you that an STD or the risk of contracting an STD is never is enough of a deterrent to keep a sex addict from looking for their next "fix". Just the same as the risk of over-dosing never seems to keep a chemical drug user from using again. STD infection is merely a consequence of the behavior but ultimately is NEVER a factor in whether or not we pursue and/or our next fix.

Fix the head first and the rest will fall in place...even if multiple irrevesible STDs are already a part of you.


Jerry Sharkey   December 11th, 2009 10:18 pm ET

I am married 41 years and love my wife dearly. However, I am constantly seeking cyber-sex online. I am 64 years old but do not look my age....I have found many women (in other countries) who are willing to do anything online to satisfy me.
I am personable and fairly good looking for my age and I know exactly what to say to these desperate women to gain their confidence.

I have regrets for what I do but I don't want to stop. I have a normal sexual relationship with my wife but I find it arousing to have women show their naked body to me on their webcam.


Gail   December 11th, 2009 10:35 pm ET

Dr. Drew: Isn't possible that Tiger Woods is a sex addict?


Dawson   December 11th, 2009 10:39 pm ET

That's scary. 3-5% is a much higher number than I expected. That makes it a good chance some people I know are sex addicts. That word makes them sound bad, I guess as long as they keep it private and don't act on it with others (if you know what I mean).


Dodie - CA   December 11th, 2009 10:44 pm ET

@ Jonathan
.
.

Beautifully stated. Thank you for allowing us into your thoughts. It seemed sad you feel you have to give up all your fantasies when you enter into a relationship. I see you justified giving this up through never having a real relationship with these women in porn magazines. However, I suspect this would be difficult to stop because this is the one thing that makes you feel good.

You seem like a very wise man. I do not see men who masturbate in violation of a relationship. It is one way they can take care of their needs. Hopefully, she will have the understanding and maturity to allow you the freedom to take care of yourself. With porn, it is just pure sex; there is no real relationship with those women. When having infidelities, you just never know what STD you will inherit and bring home to your loved one. You seem to have good boundaries and understand how women often view these issues. I hope at some point in your relationship with her, you will be able to discuss these deep inner feelings. When we enter into a relationship with someone, hopefully there is room for our differences, whatever they may be. I hope she will have the love and understanding to set you free.


MTK   December 11th, 2009 10:54 pm ET

Tiger was wrong.
He and his wife deserve a second chance.

Why has our society not condemn these women for stepping in when they clearly knew he was married or are they what I suspect them to be? Yes, Tiger let them in but they still did not care about another woman's life. Where are the women condemning these women.

Why is the conservative Golf world allowing these type of women in and around the Club houses?
Pro golfers claimed this is not that abnormal around the club house. Why? Where are the morals around the club house?


Dee Ann   December 11th, 2009 11:02 pm ET

It's a start for Tiger Woods to admit to his infidelity on his website, but he has a long road ahead. It's hard enough to heal one infidelity let alone several.
His entire attention needs to be on his wife and children without a doubt. He needs to take a break from the public for however long it takes to heal from this tragedy to his family and his fans.
Tiger has a big job ahead and he can't do it alone. This might not only get him back on track with his family, but show him he needs support from close friends and family to keep him accountable. No one survives as an island even though he has tried. Could part of his emotional neediness be because he doesn't let anyone in.....especially his wife.


Dianne   December 12th, 2009 2:05 am ET

In many ways Tiger has been denied a childhood and teen years. When other kids were playing and later dating, then early adulthood of several girlfriends at one time, were things he missed. He has had mainly one single thought and concentration which was on the game. I donot believe his behavior was because of arrogance. I donot beleive it was from addiction. There was a time when women were scorned and did not make money from their indescretions.Gee, things have really changed. Somehow in America things are always right or left. These women are just as wrong and should not profit either. Tiger should play golf, hold his head high, and live his life as he see fit without public judgement. We donot grow in times of happiness usually it is in times of despair. Live your own life for you will die your own death.


BeccaKate   December 12th, 2009 2:18 am ET

Yuck Yuck Yuck....His poor children. My understanding is sex addicts have had trauma in their childhood. So, now he has passed on his trauma to the next generation, his children. I don't even know what to say. I am married to a serial adulterer who has been diagnosed as a sex addict. Tiger Wood's brain is damaged, truly. The multiple women who he "loved" while he lead his secret life and portrayed himself as a "loving father" is typical. His wife should leave him immediately for at least six months. She needs to protect herself and her children from any further abuse because what he has done to her and those kids is nothing short of mental abuse, let alone the chance of contracting some STD from the type of women and multiple women he "loved". Get tested El and take care of yourself and your kids. Tiger seems to be able to handle quite well on his own. This is his battle, let him fight it alone.


Ted   December 12th, 2009 11:05 am ET

Dodie


Dodie - CA   December 12th, 2009 4:19 pm ET

Yes, Ted! :~)


Gerald Jolly   December 12th, 2009 5:39 pm ET

@ j.i.cannon, are you sure the reason you and your husband had a break up was because he was a sex addict.

Have you ever considered that you might be "FRIDGID"

I feel that a man can only be a sex addict if he requires sex with his wife more than three times a day every day???

GEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!


Cocovelvet   December 12th, 2009 7:49 pm ET

Heee!!!heee!!!hooo!!!Hoooo!!!! ..... 🙂 🙂 🙂

honestly, I can only laugh to each of the comments here as they come in all sorts of forms !!! Hilarious indeed, instead of really taking any of them serious...........


Gerald Jolly   December 13th, 2009 9:55 am ET

Laura, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK???


Grotesque Pearl   December 16th, 2009 11:38 pm ET

Wow! You all think you are "so smart"! Truth is... sex can become an addiction, yes. And, yes... it is similar to drug addiction. Its not just the idea of sex its the feeling you get, endorphins, a rush, thats whats addicting, just like with drugs... the drug itself isn't neccessarily addicting, its the feeling you get from it thats addicting. A person thinks, "Yeah! I like that! I like that so much i want to do it again! And again!.... AND again! (etc.)" These feelings comfort the person, making them feel secure. People who don't get/havent gotten much comfort/love/security from other people will search for that, once they find it -wether it comes in a form of sex/drugs/alcohol/etc.- they will keep coming back because "it makes them feel good!" And for you Rich.... wow. Ignorance. I'm almost positive you are older than me and the fact that you think that its easier for men, or that men are more capable of being a sex addict than women is ridiculous! *quote* "Men are always more sexual than women. Gay men have it easier since they basically can walk away from a quickie because their same sex partner understands. Straight men have to romance a woman." *unquote* I disagree with the entire statement. Men are NOT always more sexual than women, there are several females I've known who have gone to extremes just to get laid; and gay men having it easier than the straight men? HAH! Not all girls want to be romanced... sure.. romance may be nice, but (and i'm sure i'm not the only one) romance may tend to get annoying and turn into being clingy. Plus I'm sure some gay men would like a little romance in their lives. There are several types of people out there, and everyone has their problems, dont try and contemplate what the female and male species think because everyone has their own opinions, as we read above with several remarks (and if you haven't noticed... most of them are making the same point over and over.) Who are we to judge what other peoples problems are when we have problems of our own? And about Tiger Woods.... leave the poor man alone, he's just trying to live his life.. its bad enough everything he does has to be aired on television, do we have to put him down and comment on his mistakes? I think not. Put yourself in his shoes.. I know I wouldn't want the entire nation trash talking me over my personal business.


Grotesque Pearl   December 16th, 2009 11:57 pm ET

In addition I agree with Cocovelvet, birdy, and mostly JackRabbit75 (very good points... should've just read your comment before i blurted out my whole "shpeal" haha).
– – we also have to remember that Dr. Drew may be a "doctor", yet he's still human and we all have problems in our lives, no one's perfect.
Although phsyciatrists spend all their day trying to fix other peoples problems, they could be having problems that are just as bad, if not worse... its all an act and textbook material, anyone can be a "problem solver".. the key is "facts."


Condused   December 17th, 2009 2:13 pm ET

I think Tracker makes a vaild point:

December 11th, 2009 8:30 pm ET My comment: Articles written, overwhelmingly suggest medical reasons for Compulsive sexual behavior I disagree. One merely needs to do a little research : Read for example “Who’s Been Sleeping In Your Head ? The Secret world of sexual Fantasies.” This is a extensive collection of what and how people think about sex. It is when fantasies translate to reality , which they frequently do if the person is physically attractive and has the means to make it happen.

Comments anyone ?


Deangelis   December 24th, 2009 6:32 am ET

@member I agree, Psychology in general is to "flakey" for me, I always roll my eyes when they have some study where they studied X amount of people for some kind of behaivor etc and then the news will take that study and apply to everyone in general.


Tracker   December 24th, 2009 11:24 pm ET

Just checked back to see if anyone had a comment on my Dec 11 09 post. I was pleased to see CONDUSED, ( is that an actual word or name ?) thinks I have a valid point. Perhaps, he or she might elaborate or add a comment of his or her own. Sexual fantasies, in my opinion take up much more of "normal" peoples idle time than any of the "experts" can imagine.


Condused   December 25th, 2009 6:48 pm ET

Tracker... Condused is a monicker: I am a male, Yes , sexual fantasies, I too. believe are much more common than the "experts" can imagine. Noticed an interesting article on the Telegarph UK "Facebook is being cited in almost one in five of online divorce petitions," "The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to."
"Amy Taylor 28, split from David Pollard after discovering he was sleeping with an escort in the game Second Life, a virtual world where people reinvent themselves" Perhaps Dr. Drew might consider looking into the real world. Oh, I just scanned through the book "Whose been sleeping in your head." WOW!


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